


The Royals

by Miffy



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Explicit Sexual Content, Minor Character Death, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-20 15:59:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 55,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4793621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miffy/pseuds/Miffy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prince Peeta and Lady Katniss have a fight that ends their lifelong friendship. Years later, a tragedy in the Royal Family brings them the courage to bury the hatchet. Follow their lives while they conquer the world and one another’s heart. </p><p> </p><p>(Modern Day England)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling Out

_Prince Peter William Mellark, or Peeta for the ones closest to him, was the second heir to the throne to the Commonwealth of Nations, right after his older brother Andrew. He and his younger sister Delilah, or Delly as she was called by her friends and family, both pitied their older brother. For he was to be king and therefor the eyes of the nation – sometimes even the whole world – were always on him, which meant he didn’t have the kind of freedom they both enjoyed to enjoy the good life._  
_Parties, drugs, sex with strange women (or men in Delly’s case) or even trashy bar fights weren’t something he could enjoy as often as his younger siblings shamelessly did, because The Prince Andrew had a very important duty to fulfil. The Prince Andrew always had to take lessons in becoming a respectable king, was training in the British Armed Forces like generations of kings had done before him or was on a state visit with their parents, King Matthew and Queen Josephine._  
_No, Peeta and Delly were not jealous of their older brother and especially not now. Because now, they were both clubbing in Paris with their best friends and wasting money like it was water._

_Peeta was emptying what had to be his 15th drink of the evening. He noticed his girlfriend Glimmer Fielton, a very rich heir to a worldwide hotel chain, dancing on top of the bar, but he wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were roaming over the body of the raven haired beauty dancing next to her. Her skin was olive toned and her eyes were a unique silver that he had only seen in the face of one other person in his life. Her father._

_Peeta knew this because he had spent almost his entire life staring into those silver eyes – hers, not her father’s – because she was his best friend. Her name was Lady Katherine Kamillya Everdeen, but Peeta and a few others had the pleasure of calling her Katniss. They had known each other since birth and Peeta could not remember a time they hadn’t been friends._  
_Katniss’ silver eyes had found Peeta’s sky blue ones and she started to smile. ‘Peeta!’ she had yelled, ‘Come dance with us!’_  
_‘No, I’m going outside for a smoke. We can’t smoke in this bloody club!’ he had yelled._  
_Katniss had shrugged and continued to dance and Peeta, followed by his security detail, had gone outside using the back entrance that led to an ally. He had stepped outside, already with an unlit cigarette in his mouth, when he discovered he wasn’t alone._  
_Gale Hawthorne, son of one of the best soccer players in the world and Katniss boyfriend and Leevy, daughter of a British celebrity and Katniss’ so called friend were there too. Gale’s trousers and underpants were at his ankles and Leevy was on her knees, giving Gale a blowjob._

_Neither one of them had noticed Peeta enter the ally – Gale probably only concentrating on his upcoming euphoria and Leevy too preoccupied by sucking her friend’s boyfriend’s dick._  
_Peeta put back his unlit cigarette in his pocket and walked back into the club, acting like he hadn’t seen anything. He didn’t know what to do with what he had just witnessed. He didn’t know how to tell Katniss, he didn’t want to be the messenger of bad news and he figured Gale or Leevy should tell her._  
_In his drunken mind it had seemed like a good idea to keep his mouth shut. So, he walked back to his best friend and girlfriend, jumped on top of the bar and started dancing with them._

_Maybe he had done something entirely different if he had known that that was the beginning of the end of his and Katniss’ friendship._

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

**(3 months later)**

**Katniss’ POV**

I wake up with a massive hangover like I do every Sunday (and pretty much every day of the week).  
Last night was insane. Friday Peeta, Delly, Gale, Leevy, Finnick, Johanna, Glimmer and I decided to take Peeta’s private plane to Madrid to go clubbing and last night we decided to continue that party in the plane.  
We were again blessed with Peeta and Delly’s diplomatic immunity and their diplomatic bag, where we put all of our illegal substances. A diplomatic bag has immunity from search and seizure, so we always put our drugs in it, so we can use it later or in the plane self.  
The flight back is one hazy memory, clouded by coke, booze and loud music. I danced with my friends and had sex with my boyfriend in the toilet and when we got off the plane, every one of us wore a pair of sunglasses so the paparazzi wouldn’t immortalize our red eyes.  
  
That’s one of the most important rules in the playbook for rich and famous heirs: always bring a pair of sunglasses.

Someone disturbs my peaceful Sunday morning by knocking on my bedroom door. ‘What?!’ I yell, extremely annoyed.  
‘It’s Sarah, milady’ my ladies maid answers politely before entering my bedroom.  
‘Did I say you could come in?’ I ask arrogantly.  
‘My apologies, milady, but the Earl and the Countess ask for your presence in the study. Do you need help getting dressed?’  
‘No, I’m quite capable of dressing myself Sarah, thank you’ I answer annoyed.  
‘As you wish milady’ she curtsies and finally leaves my room.

  
Great. If my parents want to talk to me in the study then it must be something important – or rather, something annoying. I hope Prim will be there too.  
‘What are you wearing?’ my mother demands when I walk into the library. Both of my parents are here, drinking some tea, but Prim isn’t here.  
‘A bikini’ I answer sarcastically. She can see perfectly fine I’m wearing a see-through baggy shirt with sweatpants.  
She rolls her eyes at me – that’s where I learned it from. ‘Don’t give me an attitude. And don’t dress like that. You’re not just any girl, you’re a Lady. You have to think about your and this family’s reputation’  
Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. ‘It’s not like I would wear this outside this house, so stop-‘  
‘That’s enough fashion talk’ my father says, cutting me off. ‘Katniss, your mother and I needed to speak with you about your future’  
_Fuck my life._ I was right, they summoned me to the library for an annoying subject. ‘I don’t get why you always want to talk about that, dad. It’s my future, not yours’  
Now my dad rolls his eyes at me. _Maybe I got it from him?_ ‘Your future is just as important to me as it is to you. It’s probably even more important seeing how your leading your life at this point. Have you decided on a major yet?’  
_Have you decided on a major yet?_ A question that my dad haunts me with. ‘No’ I answer annoyed.  
‘Just as we thought..’ my dad replies annoyed.  
I suppress the urge to stick out my tongue like a child.  
‘That’s why we figured you could walk a different path than one that leads to a college education. One way more traditional for women. Well, one more historical’  
‘Marriage?’ I yell. ‘Are you insane? I’m 19 years old!’  
‘Old enough to get married’ my mother says.  
I laugh, almost like a hysterical person. ‘Is this a joke?’ I demand.  
‘No’ my mother says in an extremely serious tone and I know they both mean it.  
‘Next week one of my business partners is in town and he and his son are going to dine with us. We believe that this son would be an excellent candidate’ my dad says.

‘A candidate? For marriage? My marriage?’ I ask perplexed.  
‘Yes. They have a huge fortune, but they don’t have a title. If the two of you get married, Cato Archibald will be Earl when I die and his fortune will help your inheritance – Rosings’ Abbey – survive the modern times’  
‘Cato Archibald?’ I yell.  
‘Yes, his father Fredrick Archibald is that real estate tycoon in America, that-‘  
‘I know who Cato Archibald is!’ I yell. ‘The rich playboy that was arrested for raping a girl last year’  
‘Those charges were dropped and probably false!’ my mother brings in.  
‘ _Probably_!’ I yell. ‘Daddy, please..’ I beg.  
‘Just meet him. Nothing is set in stone.’ my dad says before he adds, ‘Yet’  
‘I’m absolutely never going to do it’ I yell. I can feel my eyes well up.  
‘You had your chance, Katniss’ my mother says, ignoring my state of mind. ‘You could have gone to college or you could have lead a charity, but you never did anything else than party and bring this family shame’  
‘You don’t have a choice anymore Katniss. We’re not paying for your extravagant lifestyle anymore’ my dad says.  
‘You’re cutting me off?’  
‘Not entirely. We’ll still pay for the necessaries’  
‘Great. Thanks!’ I say sarcastically. ‘And you forgot one crucial detail in this ridiculous idea of yours: I’m already spoken for!’ I yell.

‘That boy isn’t good enough for you’ my mother states.  
‘But a rapist is?’ I laugh a humourless laugh.  
‘He’s not a rapist! And that boy is in law school, while Gale just sits on his ass the whole day in front of his telly’  
‘I don’t have to listen to this’ I leave my parents and slam the door behind me.

  
******

 

I order my driver to take me to Gale’s apartment in London. I need to see my boyfriend. I’m shaken with anger after my conversation with my parents. _Like I’m actually going to marry a stranger for money!_ I’m not my parents! My dad only married my mother for her fortune and my mom was an American eager for a title. They were lucky, because after they got married a mutual respect turned into like and that eventually grew into love.  
But I’ll never love Cato, there shines no light in his eyes. Light that equals kindness, a good heart and a pure soul. _Like Peeta’s._ No, not like Peeta’s, like Gale’s!

Gale lives in a hotel suite owned by his father in the Sofitel Hotel. My driver drops me off and I walk the short distant by myself.  
The hotel staff knows who I am. I’ve been Gale’s girlfriend for almost a year now, so I’ve walked through the entrance many times before.  
‘Lady Katherine’ the receptionist greets me. I ignore her.  
I get into the lift and press on the number of Gale’s suite.

The doors slide open and I walk into his suite. I suspect to find my boyfriend behind the TV or something, but I find him fucking a girl on his dinner table. And not just any girl, one of my best girlfriends named Leevy!  
They both quickly turn their heads to the intruder and when they find that the intruder is me, they both turn pale.  
‘Fuck’ Gale says.  
‘Yes, you can say that’ I say cold. I quickly take a picture and bolt out of his suite.

 

******

 

I need to see Peeta. I need my best friend in the whole wide world.  
‘To Peeta’ I order my driver and he immediately takes me to the palace.

I walk straight to Peeta’s room, hoping he’s there and definitely hoping he’s there alone. Luckily I don’t run into the King or his horrible wife, otherwise I had to stay and chat or explain why I’m here.  
I don’t let Peeta know I’m here, I just bolt into his room. He’s in his room and he’s alone. He’s facing me with his back and he’s only wearing jeans.  
He jumps a little and turns around. ‘Fuck Katniss, you scared me’ his mouth is turning into a smile, but he must read my expression, because the joy in his eyes turn  
into worry. ‘What’s wrong?’  
It takes me a second longer to answer than I usually would have, because it’s very hard to concentrate when Peeta’s half naked in front of me and still wet from his shower. I come to my senses and tell him everything. That my parents want me to get married and that Gale has been cheating on me with Leevy.

He seems shocked and upset with the news my parents dropped on me, but he kind of ignores my revelation about Gale and Leevy.  
‘I’m not going to marry Cato. Never in a million years’ I say resolute. ‘They won’t get me standing next to him at the altar. I don’t care if they disown me or strip me from my title’  
‘You’ll never have to worry about money Katniss, I’ll always help you’ Peeta promises me.

We’re both lying in his bed staring at the ceiling.  
‘I can’t believe Gale did that’ I say after a while.  
‘Yeah..’ Peeta vaguely says.  
I didn’t expect that response so I turn to face him. He’s chewing on his lip – a nervous habit of his. ‘What?’ I demand.  
‘I knew’ Peeta whispers.  
‘What?’ I spat. ‘You knew about Gale and Leevy?’ I yell.  
‘Yes’ Peeta admits.  
I jump off his bed. ‘O my God! How? How long?’ I yell. _I can’t believe this!_ Tears are forming in my eyes.  
Peeta stands up as well. He can’t even look me in my eyes when he answers. ‘I saw Leevy giving Gale a blowjob. It was in Paris a couple of months ago’  
‘When we went clubbing there three months ago?’  
Peeta only nods.  
‘What the hell?’ I yell. I’m so furious that I grab one of his sneakers of the floor and throw it at his face.  
‘Ouch!’  
_Good._ ‘Asshole!’ I yell.  
‘What the hell Katniss?’ Peeta yells, while holding one of his hands to his face.  
‘How couldn’t you tell me?!’  
‘It was none of my business!’ we’re both yelling at one another now.  
‘I’m supposed to be your best friend, that makes it your business!’ I grab his other sneaker and throw it at him, but this time he catches it and throws it back at my leg. I point my finger angrily at him. ‘You are such an asshole! How could you do this to me? You must’ve had quite a laugh about me the past couple of months! Katniss, the ignorant, naïve, pathetic girl blinded by love’  
‘No, of course not!’  
‘I bet you told everyone, so you could laugh even harder at me behind my back! You’re such an egoistic, egocentric, arrogant bastard and a liar and you use people for fun-‘ ‘Maybe Gale cheated on you because your such a bitch!’ he yells, interrupting me.  
It’s dead silent for a second. My finger still hangs between us. I can see regret form in his eyes and he opens his mouth to give me an apology I don’t want to hear.  
‘You’re no better than either one of them!’ I flip him the bird. ‘Fuck you. We’re done’ I calmly say and I walk out of his room and out of his life.

 

They always say that bad news comes in three, but today it apparently comes in four for me. Like my parents threat to disown me if I don’t get married soon to someone of their choice, finding out my now ex-boyfriend had an affair and my now ex best friend knew about this and withheld this piece of information for me for months wasn’t enough, my driver tells me I have to Google myself on my phone immediately.  
I do so immediately and what I see is my worst nightmare coming true.  
I’m the hottest news of the tabloids today – and not for something I can be proud of. Some paparazzi took my photo at the exact moment that my dress flew up and they censored the part where my crotch is, indicating I’m not wearing any underwear and I’m partying half naked in Madrid.  
The headline reads:

**LADY KATHERINE (19) SHARING HER SNATCH WITH THE WORLD!**

_O my God!_ I’ve never been so ashamed and humiliated in my life. It feels like I’m suffocating. I'm crying so hard, I can hardly breath and I get the hiccups. _How on earth has my life come to this?_  
I cry the whole way back home and in my four-poster until the sun comes up.

 

******

 

It’s already dark outside when my dad walks into my room to check on me.  
‘Please go away’ I beg. I don't have the courage to face anyone. Not after the disappointed look my sister gave me. I could also tell she was ashamed of me..  
He sits down on my bed and lays his hand on by my blanket covert foot. ‘This was exactly what your mother and I were afraid that would happen. Some scandal that will haunt you the rest of your life’ I can hear the tears in his voice.  
‘I swear I was wearing underwear. They’re lying’ I sniff.  
‘I’ll handle it’  
We’re both silent for a moment.  
‘Daddy..’ I start. I’m afraid to ask, but I need to know. ‘Are you disappointed in me?’  
He waits a moment before he answers and his silence kills me. Tears run over my cheeks when he finally answers. ‘It breaks my heart to say this, but I am’  
His heart isn’t the only one that breaks when he speaks those words. ‘but that’s only because I believe you can be so much more' he continues. 'I know you can conquer the world, Katniss. In you I see the best qualities your mother and I have to offer. Your mother’s intelligence and determination and my braveness and caring nature’ I can hear the sincerity in his voice and that heals almost all of my wounds inflicted on my heart today. ‘If that’s not enough, you can even sing like a mockingbird, just like your old man can’ my father jokes.  
I feel my lips turn into a slight smile. ‘Thank you daddy. I love you’  
‘I love you too’ he kisses my crown and lets me be.

The entire night I keep replaying the words my father spoke to me in my mind. And for the first time I revaluate my life and think about my future. _Is this who I am? Is this who I want to be? Is this the life I want to lead?_

No, I want to be a person my dad can be proud of and who can be proud of themselves.

 

* * *

 

 

‘You were right’ I tell my dad the next morning at breakfast. My family looks up at me in surprise. ‘I can be so much more than the people I surround myself with. I don’t want to be the person anymore I have been the last couple of years’  
‘That’s gr-‘ my dad starts.  
‘Please let me finish’ I say, interrupting him. ‘I’ve been thinking all night about what I want to do with my life and I finally know. I don’t particularly like the world we live in and I want to help change it. I want to help save endangered wildlife and help preserve nature. I want that to be my legacy and I refuse to be remembered as some party skank – forgive me for my language. I don’t want to go clubbing 24/7 anymore, I want to be an active member of this world’

‘I understand that you still want me to marry someone who can help me maintain Rosings’, but I beg of you to not marry me off when I’m nineteen. Let me fight for this world and make my dreams come true for a couple of years. If I don’t find someone I fall in love with that you approve of before I’m 27, you can _help me_ find a husband’ I emphasize the words ‘help’ and ‘me’.  
My family is speechless. ‘Deal’ my father says when he has found his tongue.  
My mom starts to cry. ‘I’m so proud of you my dear’  
I apologise again for my behaviour the last couple of years and tell my parents and my sister that I love them.

I tell them about the charity organisation in South-America that I’m planning on helping to save the rainforest and it’s wildlife.  
My parents and I talk the entire day about my plans. They are thrilled that I finally have a purpose in my life and I don’t need much effort to convince them. I promise to come home every three months and to keep in touch as much as I can. My father is still a little disappointed that I’m not planning on going to college, but my mother is filled with pride and joy that I’m dedicating my life to helping save our planet and its inhabitants.  
‘Maybe someday’ I promise my father and he smiles proudly at me.

That afternoon I email the photo I took of Gale and Leevy on his dinner table to Cressida, an acquaintance of mine who works at a tabloid. _Keep your enemies close and all.._

**To: ctyler@private. com**

_Something you can publish tomorrow. If I find my name in the article tomorrow, you’ll regret it._

  
The sooner everyone forgets my photo and can talk about a new scandal, the better. I do feel something close to guilt for throwing Gale and Leevy under the bus, but even they know what they deserve it. Karma always comes back to bite you in the ass, doesn’t it?

 

* * *

 

 

‘I’m going to miss you so much’ Prim cries when I’m packing my bags a few days later. ‘but I’m so proud of you’  
‘I know exactly how you feel, Primmie’ I wipe the tears from my cheeks. ‘I love you too’  
‘Are you going to say goodbye to Peeta?’  
‘No’ I’m silent for a second before I add ‘He knew about Gale and Leevy, Prim. For months’  
‘Holy crap’ Prim manages to say.  
‘Yes.. He wasn’t the friend I thought he was. I don’t ever want to see him again’  
‘I’m so sorry Katniss..’ we’re both silent for a moment. ‘That’s not why you’re leaving right?’  
‘No, I’m not leaving because of Peeta. Or Gale’ I say in all honesty. ‘I’m leaving because I want to change as a person and because I want to change this world’

My family is sweet enough to take me to the airport – my dad is even the one who drives, instead of our driver! – and after I say my last goodbyes, I make my way to the plane where a first class seat is reserved for me to take me to my new life.

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

_It was incredibly sad, but Peeta and Katniss had reached a point in their friendship a lot of friendships don’t recover from. In the few times they saw each other in the following three years, they either ignored each other or they made rude comments to and over one another if there was an audience._  
_Katniss had once looked him dead in the eye when she expressed her relief that Peeta wouldn’t be king. No one needed a disloyal, backstabbing playboy as the head of their nation._  
_Peeta didn’t seem affected by her stab and shared his worry to the people surrounding them that Katniss was going to die a spinster, because who on earth would want such a crazy and violent bitch as a wife?_

_Their ‘audience’ – existing of English nobility – were shocked with what they saw and heard between the two old friends. The two looked one another in the eye, neither one of them wanting to be the first to back down and they were both dragged away by a family member._

_This was the state of their relationship for years. They didn’t even call each other Katniss or Peeta anymore, their cold greeting always began and ended with the words ‘Lady Katherine’ by Peeta and ‘His Royal Highness Prince Peter’ by Katniss._

  
_It took a tragedy in the royal family that occurred years later for Peeta and Katniss to finally swallow their pride and bury the hatchet._

 

 


	2. The Tragedy that Rocked the Nation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! :D

**(3 years later)**

**Peeta’s POV**

‘She’s back home’ my sister, princess Delilah or just Delly for me, informs me. We’re having breakfast together in one of the dozens of drawing rooms our palace has.   
‘Who?’ I ask, feigning disinterest.   
She laughs. ‘Don’t play dumb. You know exactly who’   
She’s right, but I’m not going to give her the satisfaction of admitting I know exactly who’s back from another rescue mission from Africa. Zimbabwe to be precise. ‘Mother?’ I ask, choosing to keep playing ignorant.   
‘Funny. You know she won’t be back for another two days. Thank God’   
‘Yes, now I remember. What were she and dad doing again?’ I ask, trying to change the subject. Unfortunately for me, my sister sees right through me and calls me out on it. ‘Don’t change the subject! You always do that when I bring up Katniss’   
‘It’s Lady Katherine and that’s because she’s an insufferable human being’   
‘HA! You just admitted that you knew I was talking about her what means you knew she was coming back today and you admitted to always changing the subject when I bring up Katniss!’ my sister says smugly. ‘And you and I both know she’s not insufferable. She has done amazing things for national parks, animals and rainforests across the globe’

Unfortunately, I couldn’t argue with that.. Katniss – Lady Katherine, I correct myself – had help save rainforests, preserve national parks and had helped put endangered animals on the no-kill list. It was quite impressive, even I have to admit that, but I still dislike her guts.   
‘Yes, that’s all been great, but she is still the same woman that either ignored me or humiliated me the last couple of years every time our paths crossed at an event’   
‘Get off your high horse Peeta, you acted just the same’ Delly says annoyed.   
‘She was the one that started acting like that _after_ she decided to end a lifelong friendship’   
‘No Peeta, you were the one that decided that when you humiliated her by letting her stay with a cheating boyfriend and you know it! Honestly, if you would have done that to me, I would have grabbed that sword and jammed it in both of your feet!’ Delly says angrily, pointing at the 300 year old sword on the wall. ‘You were incredibly lucky Katniss didn’t have her bow and arrow with her!’   
‘I know’ I quietly admit. ‘I screwed up big time. I just didn’t want her to shoot the messenger.. No pun intended’   
‘How selfish of you’ Delly says, sounding disappointed.   
‘I know, but I was drunk out of my mind when it happened and the longer I waited, the harder it got.. After that, she completely cut me out of her life and when we did see each other it was practically World War 3 or a second Cold War..’   
Delly huffs. ‘I don’t blame her’   
‘I don’t either’ I quietly admit.   
‘Then do something about it!’ Delly practically yells.   
‘She doesn’t want me too’   
‘You don’t understand women at all, do you brother? If she really didn’t care anymore she wouldn’t keep punishing you with the silent treatment or the bitchy one. She would have acted disinterested towards you, but civil’   
‘You really think so?’   
‘I know so. I don’t know if you’d noticed, but I’m a woman too’

 

******

 

I was lying on my bed and staring at my ceiling just like Katniss and I had done when she told me about the awful day she had had. It had been the last page of a 20 year long friendship.   
Talking with Delly gave me a lot to think about. Did I really want that friendship to be dead and buried forever? I could lie to the entire world and say I never wanted to speak with Katniss again, but I couldn’t lie to myself. I missed her. Her friendship, her companionship, her ability to always cheer me up. I even missed her stubbornness and her scowls.

I grabbed my phone and checked her Instagram. We deleted one another from every social media account we had, but sometimes, in a moment of weakness, I check her posts on Facebook or Instagram.   
Her latest photo is one of herself feeding a baby elephant. The caption reads: _Saved this beauty and her mother today from poachers. These majestic animals are being killed without mercy for their tusks, so people can sell the ivory. This is not why these animals live in this world!! Sign the petition against ivory murder! Spare 3 minutes of your life singing the petition and help save countless innocent lives of animals that are ruthlessly killed for their ivory. You can find the link in my bio, thank you!_

She posted the photo 4 days ago and she hasn’t updated since. Probably because she was making her way back home. I go to her bio, click on the link and sign the petition.   
I should go to her, I decide. Talk to her, work things out, bury the hatchet.   
I’m making a plan: what to say and when, but my thoughts are interrupted by hasty knocks on my bedroom door.   
‘Yes?’ I ask annoyed.   
‘Prince Peter, it’s Marcus. The King and Queen are home and they demand your presence in the tea room – immediately’   
Why on earth are they home already? They shouldn’t be home until the day after tomorrow. And why do my parents want to see me in the tea room immediately? 

When I join my family in the tea room, I enter a scene I hadn’t expected to enter. Delly is lying on the floor, crying hysterically, our mother is staring expressionless at the wall and my father is crying silently. His tears all fall on the 300 year old carpet, but no one seems to care.   
_What’s going on? What happened?_ My father looks up from the floor to me.   
‘Andrew is dead’

 

******

 

**Katniss' POV**

 

‘Katniss! Turn on your TV – now!’ my sister yells when she bolts into my room. If she had come in 15 minutes earlier, she would have found my security detail Thom, in my bed, instead of in the hallway, where he is now..   
I don’t even get the time to grab the remote. Prim yanks it from my coffee table and turns on the news. The palace is on my screen and I almost ask Prim why on earth I want to see something about the Royal family, but then I read the caption.

_**BRITAIN’S PRINCE ANDREW KILLED IN ACCIDENT.** _

_  
Holy crap._

  
The news anchor starts to talk.

_"It is with heavy heart that we now have confirmation that His Royal Highness Prince Andrew is gone. Confirmation was given just now. Prince Andrew was the first born of King Matthew and Queen Josephine and older brother of Prince Peter and Princess Delilah. The Royal family has been tragically silent and has yet to make a statement."_

‘Andrew is dead?’ I’m in shock. _I can’t believe it.._   
‘Yes’ Prim answers.   
‘How?’   
‘That hasn’t been told yet’   
‘Where are mom and dad?’ I ask.   
‘Behind the telly in the living room’ my sister answers.   
‘We should join them there’

‘Do you know how it happened, dad?’ I ask when Prim and I join our parents in our living room.   
‘It was a car accident’   
‘O my God..’ I shake my head a couple of times, hoping with that simple action I can change the facts. ‘Poor Delly..’ I mumble. ‘ _Poor.. Peeta.._ ’

 

* * *

 

 

A few days later Prim and I are in my room changing into our funeral clothes with the TV on. We’re watching the news – again.

_"The world gathers to pay their respects and to say goodbye to the beloved prince Andrew, taking suddenly and far too soon at the age of 24. Charismatic, compassionate – prince Andrew was Britain’s beloved son."_

My mind keeps drifting off to Peeta. I’ve been playing with my phone for days now, contemplating if I should text or call Peeta. Even after all this years, I still have his number programmed in my cell, but I don’t know what to say or if he would even welcome a message coming from me.

My dad, being both an Earl and a close friend of the King, has the obligation to go to Andrew’s funeral and of course, my mother, sister and I will go with him.   
Andrew was always a good friend of mine. He was also my first time.. I want to pay him my respects and I want to personally condole Delly and the King. And Peeta. I don’t give a damn about the Queen, she always was a heartless woman, but she did lose her first born son, so maybe she’ll be different today. Even if she’s not, she still deserves our condolences.

 

******

 

**Peeta's POV**

 

I’m surrounded by my family, extended family and nobility closest to us. Everyone is here to pay their respects to Delly, my parents and me, before we leave for the funeral. A funeral for my brother, broadcasted over the entire world. I can’t believe he’s gone. _Andrew is dead. My brother is dead.._

I’m standing behind the window, staring at the thousands of people that have gathered in front of the palace to come to pay their last respects to my brother.   
‘Guess who just walked into the room with her family’ my best friend, Lord Vincent, or just Finnick to me, says.   
‘Katniss?’ I guess, still staring at the thousands people that are waiting for us in the distance. I gulp down my scotch in the hope it will numb the devastating pain I feel in my heart and soul.   
‘Yes. She’s now talking with your sister’ Finnick informs me. ‘She’s now looking at you’ Finnick says after a moment.   
I can feel her eyes on my back.   
‘She’s now joining her family to give her condolences to your parents’ Finnick continues. ‘And here comes your sister’   
‘Is Finnick giving you a play-by-play on Katniss’ moves, Peeta?’ Delly asks.   
‘I was indeed’ I hear Finnick say next to me, sounding a little amused.   
‘Of course you are. You have done so every time the two of them are in the same room together for the last couple of years’   
‘I have indeed Delly, because I’m a real friend’ Finnick says. ‘And now update on Katniss whereabouts: she’s coming over here. Alone’   
‘Than we should get a drink, Finn’ Delly says and she quickly drags Finnick away.   
I turn around quickly to ask them to stay, but they’re already out of earshot. An intense nervous feeling takes a hold of me that tells me I’m not ready to be alone with Katniss yet, but before I can leave and act like I didn’t know she was coming to speak to me, she’s standing right next to me.

An awkward silence fills the air between us. I’m not in the mood to socialize – with anyone – so I decide to let her break the silence. She does.   
‘No wonder there are so many people waiting outside. Andrew wasn’t just a great prince, he was also a great guy and they knew it’ she says.   
‘He was’ I say.   
‘I’m so sorry for your loss’ she says and before I can give her a rehearsed thank you, she adds ‘Peeta’   
My breath hitches in my throat. That little endearment means Delly was right. _She was feeling exactly the same as I have.._

‘They wrote a speech for me. To give to the press’ I tell Katniss. ‘“He was more than a man or a prince. We lost a beacon. The kind of which a nation relies on to create a unity”’ I quote to her. ‘My brother dies and they script my feelings. Like they actually know how I felt about my brother. He deserves so much more than an empty quote from me’   
Out of the corner of my eye I can see that Katniss turns to me. ‘You’re right. He does. But no matter what you choose, I know for a fact that he would be proud of you. He loved you very much’   
I can’t look her in her eyes. Afraid that I’ll break down when I look into those silver orbs I missed so much the last 3 years. I desperately want to tell her how sorry I am for everything and how much I missed her, but this is not the time nor place.   
She wishes me good luck and leaves me, but I’m not alone for long, because my mother thinks it’s necessary to remind me of my duties for this day – for the hundredth time today.

‘May I remind you – the entire world will be watching you today. You’re the next heir to the throne, the next King of the Commonwealth of Nations. Give your quote to the press, acknowledge the crowd and then you’ll escort me to the car. It’s very simple, even someone as foolish as you can’t screw that up.’ my mother spats. 'Oh, and try not to sleep with anyone on the way’ she adds.   
I don’t bother replying. I turn around and walk to my father. It’s time to leave.

 

******

 

My family, extended family and a couple of nobility are standing on the steps in front of the palace. In a second I’m supposed to give my quote to the reporter. Before I do, I quickly glance at Katniss, who’s standing a few feet away from me.   
She meets my eyes and gives me an encouraging nod. That tiny gesture tells me what I should do and I walk towards the reporter to give my statement that will be witnessed by the entire world.

‘Prince Peter, with heavy hearts we give you our condolences as a grieving nation’ the reporter says.   
I thank her for her kind words and turn to the camera. ‘The great thing about my brother was, that he wasn’t afraid to be his own man and he accepted everyone for who he or she was. I’ll always be proud that I can call him my brother and I’ll miss him forever’ with that, I leave and my mother – escorted by me – and my sister get into the car. My dad stays outside to accept the condolences of his people.

‘My God! You brat!’ my mother yells at me when we are in the car. ‘Your brother, my first born son, is dead and you can’t find the decorum to form the civility to honour his memory. What’s wrong with you?!’   
‘Was that scripted too?’ Delly sarcastically asks.   
‘We script you because we can’t trust either one of you with your own tongue!’   
‘No, God forbid we come across as emotional or say something meaningful when our brother dies!’ Delly says angrily.   
‘Think about our image!’ our mother yells and she puts up even more lipstick.   
‘Our dad is out there with his people, genuinely grieving the death of his son, while you’re bitching in the car about the family’s image and topping of the Botox’ I spat.   
My mother furiously slaps me hard on my cheek, but not hard enough to leave a mark. She’s not that stupid.   
‘They always take the good ones’ she says when both of her hands are neatly back in her lap. ‘Those queens were right for locking up their kids in the tower when they became mother’   
‘No’ I say. ‘Henry VIII was right for killing all of his wives’

 

******

 

The funeral is over. Me and my family are expected to be the first ones to leave the church, but Delly has a mind of her own. She quickly walks to my brother’s coven and I follow her.   
She puts her hand on the coven and with her other one grabs mine. ‘I can’t believe he’s really gone..’   
‘I know..’ I whisper.   
‘This is the last time the three of us will be together Peeta. At least in this lifetime’ she sobs.   
Her words break my heart and I put my hand on the coven as well. ‘You still have me Dell. I’ll always be there for you’   
She buries her face in my chest and wraps her arms around me. I return her embrace.   
‘Same’ she promises me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys/girls think & feel? :) Did this chapter live up to your expectations? 
> 
> Would love to hear something from you! :) xx


	3. The Garden Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading, all characters belong to SC!

**Peeta's POV**

 

My sister and I are drinking some tea in one of the Drawing Rooms.  
‘This was the worst week of my life’ Delly comments.  
‘Mine too’ I mumble.  
We’re both quietly drinking our tea for a moment. ‘What did Katniss say to you before the funeral?’  
‘She offered her condolences’ I answer.  
‘Was that all?’  
‘She also expressed her sincere admiration for our brother’  
‘Was that all?’ Delly stubbornly repeats.  
‘Pretty much’  
‘Peeta!’ Delly says annoyed. She never was very patient.  
‘Yes, that’s how she called me too’ I tell her.  
‘She did? HA! I was right!’ Delly says with an smug grin.  
‘You were right’ I agree.  
‘Have you spoken with her since? Or texted her or something?’  
‘No’  
‘Well you’ve got plenty of time to talk with her at that ridiculous Garden Party mother refuses to cancel’ Delly bitterly says.

At that exact moment our parents walk into the room.  
‘We should cancel’ my dad says. ‘We’re in mourning. People will understand’  
‘I agree’ Delly says.  
‘We’re doing this out of respect for Andrew. There are a lot of his colleagues coming from the army’ my mother says.  
‘We’re not doing this for Andrew and you know it’ my father discusses.  
‘Fine, than we’re doing this for our guests’ mother stubbornly says.  
‘Like you even care about them. You only do this for yourself!’ my dad angrily yells.  
‘Yes, I’m also doing this for myself! I buried my son this week, I think I deserve something fun now’ my mother yells back.  
‘The annual Garden Party is not fun’ Delly complains and she’s right.  
‘Of course it’s fun. There are a lot of people who have never met a member of our royal family and are dying to do so’  
‘Yes, you love to meet your so called fans, don’t you? I can tell you that if you showed your true colours to them, they wouldn’t be your fans anymore, mother’ I say.  
She ignores my stab. ‘All that matters is that the party is on, we are all attending and we’re all going to be on our best behaviour. Especially you Peeta – you are now the Crown Prince of England’

Like I needed to be reminded.

 

* * *

 

 

Me and my family are gathered in the parlour. We’re ready to walk through the doors that lead us to our garden and “get this party started”,  
as my mother so lovingly putts it.  
  
‘Peeta dear’ my mother suddenly says, ‘I noticed that Glimmer’s name wasn’t on the guest list, so I added it and she was kind enough to accept my invitation. Isn’t that marvellous?’  
Of course she did. Inviting my ex-girlfriend in the hope we’re going to rekindle our failed relationship.  
I swear my mother was even more broken-hearted when I broke up with the rich hotel heiress than the rich hotel heiress was.

‘Definitely not my definition of marvellous mother’ I say.  
‘Then what is brother?’ Delly asks with a mischievous grin when our mother walks back to her spot. ‘That Katniss will be here as well?’  
‘I’ll admit, little sis, that I’m looking forward to seeing her again, but we still aren’t exactly friends. We’ll see how she’ll act towards me today’  
The British anthem starts to play and that’s our cue to go outside. ‘Finally’ my mother says sounding irritated.

After an hour of socializing with strangers, a familiar face comes up to me for a chat. I had secretly hoped I could avoid her this entire afternoon, but she probably kept an eye on me and knew that no one in particular was getting my attention at this moment.  
‘Peeta’ she greets me and she wraps her arms around me and presses her breasts hard on my chest. _Subtle._  
I awkwardly pat her back. ‘Glimmer’  
‘You don’t mind me not calling you Your Highness and all, or do you? Since we’re old friends and all’ she says and she winks. _So subtle._  
‘Sure’ I say annoyed by her presence.  
‘I’m so sorry about Andrew, Peeta’  
‘Thank you’ I say, I start roaming my surroundings for an escape. _Where the hell is Finnick? Or Delly?_  
‘But you look great’ Glimmer compliments me and she squeezes my upper arm. _Again, so subtle.._  
My eyes finally land on Finnick. ‘It was great seeing you again Glimmer, but I see someone I need to talk to. Goodbye’

I make a beeline towards my friend.  
‘I see you have successfully escaped the hands of your horrible ex-girlfriend’ Finnick says.  
‘Yes, thank you for your much needed help’ I reply sarcastically.  
‘Well, you managed fine on your own, didn’t you? Besides, it was fun to watch you all uncomfortable’ Finnick says laughing.  
I give him a playful hit. ‘Asshole, but what about you? Have you talked to someone interesting yet?’  
‘Besides you? Only your sister and Katniss’  
My ears instinctively shut out all the noises surrounding me when they hear that name, so I can register all the information about Katniss Finnick is about to give me. ‘Katniss is here?’  
‘Yes, she’s standing over there with a friend of hers’ I follow Finnick’s gaze and find Katniss – who looks radiant – standing with a honey blonde girl. They’re talking animatedly with each other.  
‘She brought a friend?’ I ask.  
‘She did. A very pretty friend, I might add. Her name is Madeline Undersee’  
‘Undersee? As in the daughter of our prime-minister?’  
‘Indeed’ Finnick answers.  
‘I didn’t know they were friends’  
‘Want to go over there?’ Finnick asks with a knowing smile.  
‘It would be rude if I didn’t say hello to her today’ I say, trying to hide my eagerness to go and see Katniss.  
Finnick can see right through me and he smirks. ‘It would indeed’

Katniss gives me curtsey and greets me with ‘Your Royal Highness’ when I’ve made my way to her. I’m so disappointed and affected by her formal greeting, that I don’t see her friend follow her lead.  
‘Lady Katherine’ I say, looking intently at her eyes, hoping to see some kind of reaction that doesn’t come, so I turn to greet her friend. ‘Ms. Undersee’  
‘Ms. Undersee, have you seen the rose garden yet?’ Finnick asks.  
‘No, Lord Vincent, I can’t say I have’  
‘I can promise you they are quite a sight to behold. Queen Victoria planted them’  
‘Then, please, you must show them to me immediately’  
‘I’ll lead you the way’ Finnick, ever the wingman, and Madge leave us and my eyes find Katniss’ silver ones again. This is the first time – except for the moment before Andrew’s funeral – in 3 years that Katniss and I are alone in each other’s company.

‘How is your father holding up?’ Katniss asks me.  
‘He’s doing his best. We all are’  
I can see a memory flash through Katniss’ eyes and her lips turn into a small smile. ‘Remember that time when we got back drunk and high from some stupid party and we accidently broke that 200 year old vase? I almost dropped dead out of fear for your mother’s reaction, but then Andrew walked into the room and told us he would take care of it’  
I laugh. ‘Yes, I still have no clue how he got a replica so quick and he never told me, but mother still has no clue that that vase is a fake one’  
‘Yes, Andrew was always very clever and he always had our backs. I’ll miss him’ she says.  
I nod. ‘How’s Prim doing?’ I ask, wanting to change the subject.  
Katniss eyes lit up with pride. ‘She’s doing great. She just started at the university and she’s loving it’  
‘That’s great’ I say with a proud smile as well. Prim always was like a second sister to me.  
‘Yes, she always was the brightest one’ Katniss winks.  
‘Don’t sell yourself short’ I say and for a second we just look into each other’s eyes. ‘How was Africa?’

‘Eventful. Brought a few poachers to justice, saved a couple of animals, did our best to change the law on crimes against wildlife’  
‘Did you succeed?’  
‘Not yet, but it looks very promising to go our way’  
‘That’s great! Are you going back?’  
‘Not for a while’  
‘You’re staying in England? For how long?’ I hope I don’t sound to eager.  
‘I haven’t made up my mind about that yet’ Katniss answers.  
‘Then we should get together some time’ I say, hope evident in my voice.  
‘We sho-‘ Katniss says, before she gets interrupted by someone I hoped I had shook off.

‘Katniss! I haven’t seen you in ages’ Glimmer says.  
‘It’s Lady Katherine for you, Ms. Fielton’ Katniss says, annoyed by Glimmer’s presence.  
‘But, we’re old friends..’ Glimmer whines.  
‘We’re not’ Katniss says and I have to suppress a smile.  
Katniss turns to me. ‘Prince Peter’ she curtsies and leaves. I watch her walk away with a burning need to run after her.  
‘What’s her problem?’ Glimmer defensively asks when Katniss is out of earshot.  
‘What’s _your_ problem Glimmer? I told you I needed to speak with someone. Why did you interrupt us?’  
‘I thought I was doing you a favour. Why would you willingly want to talk with _her_? Or are you now friends with her again?’  
Her question throws me off guard. I don’t think Katniss and I are friends again, but we’re definitely _something_.. ‘Goodbye Glimmer’

 

_____

**Katniss' POV**

 

‘So, how was talking with him again? I want all the details!’ my best friend, Madge, excitedly asks.  
‘It was nice’ I answer.  
‘Details’ Madge presses me with a smile.  
I sigh. She’ll never let it go, so I give in. ‘We talked about Andrew, Prim and Africa before we got interrupted by Glimmer Fielton’  
‘Glimmer?’ Madge asks aghast. ‘What did she want?’  
‘I can only imagine she wanted some time alone with Peeta and she got it. I left when she felt the need to join our conversation’  
‘Tell me – what did she interrupt?’ Madge asks with a mischievous glint in her hazel eyes.  
‘I was just answering Peeta’s question on getting together some time’  
‘O my God’ Madge squeals excitedly and she claps her hands. ‘What did you answer?’  
‘That we should’  
‘Finally! I’m so glad for you. I know you missed him, even though you always did your best in hiding so’  
‘Yeah, well.. I’m glad too’ I quietly admit. ‘What time is it? I’ve spoken with everyone I wanted to and we’ve shown our faces here long enough. Can we leave yet?’  
Madge checks her thousand pound watch. ‘We’ve been here for almost 2,5 hours’ she answers.  
‘That is long enough’ I say relieved.  
‘Shouldn’t you chat with the Queen for a minute?’  
‘Lord, no. This party is not a good enough reason to talk with her. And I already spoke with the King for a while’  
‘Okay, than let’s leave and bake a cake or something at my place’  
I laugh. ‘That sounds like a lot of fun’

 

******

 

‘Why didn’t Peeta and you ever date?’ Madge asks me when we put our chocolate cake in the oven.  
‘Just because we were friends of the opposite sex does not mean we had to date’ I say.  
‘Agreed’ Madge says, but then she adds ‘but I do think that you wanted to’  
I can feel my cheeks burn up and I can’t even look my friend in her eyes when I answer. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ I say looking at the floor.  
‘And I also think that Peeta wanted it to be more’ Madge adds.  
_What? How…_ I’m utterly confused by what Madge just said, so I decide to keep playing ignorant. ‘I still don’t know what you’re talking about’ I awkwardly insist.  
Madge rolls her eyes at me. ‘Please. The way you hated Peeta the last couple of years, was the type of hate that can only come from love’  
I stare at her blankly. I lost my tongue.  
‘I saw the look in your eyes when he came over to say hi this afternoon. And how he looked at you’ Madge continues. ‘So, why didn’t the two of you ever date?’

‘Pfft.. I don’t know..’ I mutter when I finally answer. I take a large gulp of my wine Madge just handed me. ‘We were just friends. Nothing more. He always had girlfriends, then I met Gale and before that I slept with Andrew, so..’ I trail off.  
‘You slept with _his brother_?’ Madge practically yells. ‘When was this?’  
‘When I was seventeen. It was my first time’  
‘You lost your virginity to _Peeta’s brother_?’ Madge asks with eyes wide as saucers and she emphasizes the last two words.  
‘Stop saying it like that! Peeta had nothing to do with it’ I say with a steady voice. ‘It was at a party and I was done being a virgin. Then I ran into Andrew, we did a couple of shots together and us laughing together turned into us kissing and that turned into me losing my virginity. It was nothing more and nothing less. Andrew was just at the right place at the right moment’  
‘What happened after that?’  
‘Nothing. Andrew and I both knew it was just a hook-up for the both of us’ I answer.  
Madge fills both of our wine glasses again and asks me if Peeta knows.  
‘Yes, I told him a couple of days later’  
‘And?’  
‘Well.. He wasn’t thrilled, but I figured that was because he didn’t want to hear much about my sex life or his brother’s’  
‘That’s probably not the only reason he wasn’t happy’ Madge says with a smirk.  
‘He had a girlfriend at the time! If he was angry with me for sleeping with his brother, he had no right to be. There was nothing going on between Peeta and me at the time’  
‘What about now?’ Madge asks. She looks me dead in the eye and she holds my gaze. There’s no escaping this question or its answer.  
‘I don’t know’ I admit. ‘After three years of fighting, we’re finally friendly again. We’ll see where that leads us’  
Madge gives me a smile and she seems content. ‘Let’s get that cake out of the oven’

 

******

 

‘I’ll be standing on guard outside your door, milady’ Thom, my security detail, informs me.  
‘Why? My bed is much more comfortable’ I say with a seductive smile.  
A crooked grin settles on Thom’s face. ‘It is indeed’ with 3 strides he’s in front of me and he takes his lips in mine.

I was very unhappy when I had to take on a bodyguard. I’m a very private person, so someone who was constantly just a few steps behind me and watching my every move,  
was not something I would agree on if it hadn’t been absolutely necessary. But I had no other choice.  
After meeting Thom – who’s tall, dark and handsome – I figured I should just make the best out of a bad situation and our business relationship soon became more _  
passionate_. Luckily for me, Thom knows how to please a lady in the bedroom and he can make the stress of the day go away when he makes me reach my euphoria.

‘I hope I’m not out of line here, but what’s going on between you and the prince?’ Thom asks me, when we’re finished.  
‘You are’ I say. ‘What has happened in my past or in my current personal life is none of your business. Just because we sometimes enjoy each other’s bodies, does not mean we are together. Or even friends. You’re here to keep me and my family safe from lunatics. You can go back to that now’ I say angrily.  
‘As you wish milady’ Thom says taken aback.

When he’s gone, his question stays on my mind. It’s the second time today someone has asked me that exact question and I still don’t know how to answer it. _What is going on between Peeta and me now?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate our girl too much, she's just confused about the state of her relationship and feelings towards Peeta..
> 
> In the next chapter you can look forward to a lot of Everlark scenes and also to the next stage of their lives. I'm really excited for you to read the next couple of chapters: but for now,
> 
> what did you think of this one? :)  
> xx


	4. Milan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can compare Katniss' Rosings' Abbey to Rosings from 'Pride and Prejudice' or to Downton Abbey :) 
> 
> We all know who owns the HG characters and 'The Valley Song': the amazing SC! 
> 
> Enjoy! :D

 

**Katniss' POV**

 

‘When did you get a bodyguard?’ Peeta asks me when we hang out on Rosings’ roof so we can admire the sun setting in the best place of my family’s Abbey.

It’s 2 months after the garden party. We have seen each other quite a lot the last couple of weeks and we’re almost back to the friendship we once shared.

‘I started getting death threats when I was in Kenya last year. I wasn’t really worried, but then those threats reached me when I went back home to England and they were also addressed to my family. I could live with threats addressed to me, but I don’t want my family to be in danger because of _my_ work, so we hired a security team’ I answer.  
‘Did Thom go with you to Zimbabwe?’ Peeta asks.  
‘Yes. My parents didn’t want me to go without a guard’ I answer and then I add ‘They were probably right..’

Both our guards, Thom and Marcus, are standing on the roof as well, keeping an eye on us. They are both standing far away enough for me and Peeta to have a private conversation.

We’re both watching the sunset in silence for a few minutes, both completely lost in our thoughts.  
‘What are you doing next weekend?’ Peeta asks me, breaking our comfortable silence.  
I smile. He never was one to keep quiet for long.  
‘Nothing yet’  
‘Then come with me to Milan. I’m celebrating my birthday there’  
I laugh. ‘Don’t you have some crown prince stuff to do?’  
‘That will have to wait this weekend. You only turn 23 once' he gives me a playful smile. 'Come on, say you’ll come too’ Peeta says and his smile turns into a hopeful one.  
‘Fine, but only because you’re begging’ I joke.  
Peeta chuckles. _Oh, how I’ve missed that sound.._ ‘Well, it got the job done’ he says and he winks at me.  
‘Who did you invite?’ I ask.  
‘Finnick, Johanna, Gloss, Cashmere and Delly’

Gloss and Cashmere Smith are brother and sister and are one of the most popular British models. She had been on the runway of the New York Fashion Week last year and that week he had been in Paris, walking down that catwalk. They both have a contract at Chanel, she is Maybelline’s new face and he models for Rolex. They were starting to become well known in and out of England.  
Peeta probably met them when we weren’t friends anymore, because I have no idea how he knows those two and how close they are. He did invite them to come to Milan for his birthday, so I guess that should answer my question.

Then a thought, or rather an explanation as to why he would bring them, starts running through my mind. _He likes Cashmere. Maybe he’s already hooking up with her. Or maybe they’re already dating._  
Neither one of us mentioned our dating lives the last couple of weeks, so I have absolutely no clue if he likes someone or what his ‘status’ is. A weird combination of panic and jealousy goes through me. _Why am I feeling this way?_

‘What do you want for your birthday?’ I ask, desperately trying to stop my train of thought.  
‘Nothing. You coming this weekend is the best gift you can give me’  
I laugh at him. ‘God, that’s so cheesy’  
‘But…’ Peeta starts. ‘There is one thing that would be even better’  
‘Really?’  
‘A song. Sung by you’  
‘O God’ I say mortified. Peeta always loved to hear me sing.  
He laughs. ‘Please’ he asks shyly.  
‘Fine, but that will be your present’  
‘Yes!’ Peeta excitedly blurts out.   
‘And I’ll do it now, so you’re my entire audience’  
‘Except from Marcus and Thom’  
‘Don’t remind me!’ I yell laughingly. ‘What song do you want to hear?’  
‘The Valley Song’  
_Of course._ I could have known. It was always his favourite by me when we we’re children.

I start to sing and Peeta’s eyes light up. They become even bluer. I can see that he hangs on every word I sing.

 _Down in the valley, the valley so low_  
_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow_  
_Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow;_  
_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow._

 _Roses love sunshine, violets love dew,_  
_Angels in Heaven know I love you,_  
_Know I love you, dear, know I love you,_  
_Angels in Heaven know I love you._

 _If you don't love me, love whom you please,_  
_Throw your arms 'round me, give my heart ease,_  
_Give my heart ease, dear, give my heart ease,_  
_Throw your arms 'round me, give my heart ease._

 _Build me a castle, forty feet high;_  
_So I can see her as she rides by,_  
_As she rides by, dear, as she rides by,_  
_So I can see her as she rides by._

 _Write me a letter, Send it by mail,_  
_Send it in care of Birmingham Jail,_  
_Birmingham Jail, love, Birmingham Jail,_  
_Send it in care of Birmingham Jail_

 

Peeta’s eyes still sparkle when I’m finished and he smiles brightly.

‘Thank you’ he whispers.

_Worth it._

 

* * *

 

 

Madge is sitting with me in our library in Rosings’ Abbey. We always talk about our work in this room and today Madge said she wanted to speak with me.  
‘You’ve come across a new project’ I state.  
‘I have’ Madge says excitedly.

Madge and I became friends when her father brought her along when he and his wife were invited for dinner by my father. She complimented the work for the charity I had done in South-America and asked me all about the organisation and my adventures.  
We learned that evening that we shared the same political opinions, norms and values and even our love for music.  
We quickly became good friends and after we hung out a couple of times after that dinner, I asked her if she wanted to join me in Africa for my next project. She did and she went with me to Kenya and later to Zimbabwe.  
I went to South-America on my own and even after ten months with the same people, I still felt somewhat alone. Going on missions with my best friend makes me miss my family less and it’s much more fun. It’s nice that I can hang out with a close friend after work and watch a movie together or whatever.

‘India’ Madge tells me.  
‘India?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Yes. I want our next project to be for women’s rights. In India there is a lot of violence against women and a lot of girls drop out of school. An organisation called ‘We Are One and the Same’ contacted me that fights for women’s rights, tries to empower them and tries to inform the Indian population about equality and the advantages it brings to a country if women are equal to men’  
‘They contacted you?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Yes, because they couldn’t get in touch with you. They want you to be one of their spokespersons!’ Madge answers excitedly.  
‘Me? Why on earth would they ask _me_?’ I ask stunned.  
‘Because you’re a well-known figure who has done a lot of good for our world!’  
‘You did that too’ I say.  
‘But I’m not a famous Lady and activist with 2 million followers on social media or who becomes front paper news when I help lock away poachers’  
‘Well.. You deserve the same credit’ I say and I mean it.  
‘You know I don’t do it for the fame and I know that you don’t either, but they deserve our help. Who cares if they want to use your name for more publicity? Think of their goal! You can help millions of Indian women!’

I know she’s right and I always was a huge feminist. Helping women get the same rights as I have, would be an honour. _And why not?_

Peeta’s face goes through my mind.. He would probably be the only reason I’d consider staying, but I can’t put my life on hold because there might be a slight chance that we would date. I’m not that type of person.  
I can’t pass up an opportunity to help people for a guy. _A guy that’s only a friend.._  
And going to India _and_ working for an organisation for women’s rights both would be dreams coming true.

‘I already signed up’ Madge says, interrupting my thoughts. ‘So what do you say?’  
I made up my mind and smile a dangerous smile at Madge. She grins back at me because she knows what that smile means. ‘When do we leave?’ I ask.  
She squeals excitedly and claps her hands. ‘Next Tuesday’

 

* * *

 

 

I have a busy week that week. I have to pack my bags for Milan – luckily I have a ladies maid to make that chore easier –, choose a dress with Prim for Peeta’s masquerade birthday ball that his parents are throwing him the following Monday and plan a six month ‘business trip’ to India.

Madge and I spend the following days talking with leaders of ‘We Are One and the Same’ to plan our stay, talk about our schedule and their expectations. Apparently I’m expected to give a lot of speeches and I instantly become nervous.

When I tell Madge, she says, ‘Don’t think of the people who are watching you, but who are _listening_ to you’  
‘See? You should be a spokesperson! You’re good with words’ I dramatically complain.  
She takes me by shoulders and looks me a no-nonsense look. ‘You can do this Katniss. Besides, I’ll help you. We’re a team’  
I nod. ‘Yes..’ I mutter and then I smile. ‘I’m excited’ I admit. ‘To help make a change for those girls’  
‘Me too’ Madge says and her eyes light up.

 

* * *

 

 

‘I’m so glad you agreed to come’ Delly says smiling sweetly, when our plane to Milan is in the air.

We’re sitting next to each other in the back of the plane, so if we talk quietly enough, our conversation can’t be overheard. ‘Otherwise I either had to spend the weekend with Tweedle dumb and Tweedle dumber’ she nods in the direction of Gloss and Cashmere as she says this, ‘or with Johanna, who’s a little nuts’ she playfully winks at me when she talks about Johanna and I laugh.  
‘Yes, it was very nice of your brother to invite me’ I say.  
‘Oh, I’m sure he only invited you to be _nice_ ’ Delly says with a grin.  
I feel my cheeks warm up, so I quickly ask how he knows the Smith’s.

‘Finnick met Gloss when he did that Rolex shoot and Peeta met Cashmere at an after party during Fashion Week last year. They quickly became party buddies, or whatever. When they offered their villa in Milan to us this weekend, Peeta had to ask them along’  
‘Wait.. We’re going to _their_ villa?’ I ask. I suddenly feel a little uncomfortable. I don’t even know them and if it’s their villa, they should’ve invited me. It doesn’t matter that we’re celebrating _Peeta’s_ birthday there.

‘You didn’t know?’  
I shake my head in reply.  
‘Relax, your nobility – they’ll be nice to you’  
I make a face. ‘O God. They’re those kind of people?’  
‘Yup’  
We both laugh quietly.

 

******

We’re all sitting outside at the poolside, slightly buzzed, under a starry sky.  
‘To Peeta!’ Finnick says while he raises his glass.  
‘To Peeta!’ we all say.  
Peeta’s eyes find mine and I wink at him.

‘So, Katniss’ Johanna starts and I shift my eyes from Peeta’s to Johanna’s. ‘Are you enjoying _England_ a bit?’ she emphasises on the word England, which means she doesn’t mean the country, but it’s crown prince.

I decide to play dumb. ‘It’s always good to be home, but I’m actually leaving again next Tuesday’  
‘What?’ Peeta asks surprised.  
‘Where are you going?’ Delly asks excitedly.  
‘India’  
‘For how long?’ Peeta asks.  
‘At least 6 months’ I answer.  
‘6 months?’ he spats. ‘When did you decide this?’  
‘This Tuesday’  
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he asks angrily.  
‘I didn’t have the time. Sorry’  
‘You didn’t have the time to send me a text?!’  
His angry reaction starts to annoy me. _Why can’t he be excited for me, like Delly? I’m helping change the lives of innocent girls!_ ‘No’ I answer, a little cold.

‘What are you going to do in India?’ Delly asks, trying to break the tension that has arisen.  
‘I’ve been asked to become a spokesperson of ‘We Are One and the Same’. It’s an organisation for women’s rights’  
‘O my God, that's amazing! Congratulations!’ Delly says excitedly.  
‘Wait.. you’re going to be a spokesperson?’ Johanna asks and she laughs. ‘You do realise you have to give speeches and stuff right? In front of people’  
‘Very funny Mason. I do realise that and I’ll be fine’ I say. No one needs to know how nervous I am about that part, but I won’t be alone. Madge will help me.  
‘You will!’ Delly agrees. ‘You’re going to do great!’  
‘To Katniss and her new rescue mission!’ Finnick says and he raises his glass again.  
‘To Katniss!’ everyone repeats.

This time I don’t look in Peeta’s eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

‘I’m sorry about the way I acted yesterday’ Peeta says the next morning when we’re alone in the kitchen. ‘I’m just disappointed that you’re leaving again and that you didn’t tell me’  
‘I swear it wasn’t on purpose, Peeta. There was just so much to do in a short amount of time and I figured I’d tell you this weekend’  
He sighs and runs his hand through his curls. ‘I can’t believe your leaving for _at least_ 6 months..’  
I give him an apologetic smile. ‘That’s my life now. I’m not the same person I was 4 years ago.. And it’s not _that_ long..’  
‘It’s long enough’ Peeta says quietly.  
I pull him into a hug. ‘I’m going to miss you too’ I say whisper.

 

******

 

We go to a casino and Peeta declares me his lucky charm.  
‘Don’t kill me if you lose’ I fake beg. Peeta laughs.  
‘Never. And have a little faith in yourself’ he says and he winks.

At the end of the night, Peeta has won £50.000.  
‘I only won it because you were at my side’ he tells me.  
‘No, you were just lucky’  
‘Yes, because you were at my side. That’s why every penny is going to the ‘We Are One and the Same’ organisation’  
‘Peeta!’ I say surprised. ‘That’s amazing! Thank you!’ I give him a hug. When he puts his arms around me, I feel like I’m coming home. I can feel my heart flutter in my chest and my stomach flip. There’s no place in the world I’d rather be than in his arms, my face nestled in the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent that is so distinct Peeta’s.

‘Let’s go back to the villa’ Peeta says when we let each other go.

 

******

 

We are exactly where we were 24 hours earlier – drinking at the poolside. Only now, we’re not slightly buzzed, we’re wasted and I’m sitting on Peeta’s lap.  
‘Let’s go skinny-dipping in the pool!’ Finnick bawls.  
‘YEEEEAAAAHHH!!!’ I yell.  
Finnick is already naked and jumps into the pool and he’s followed by Gloss and Cashmere.  
‘You’re going skinny-dipping?’ Peeta excitedly asks.  
‘God no’ I say and I laugh.  
‘Well, I am’ Delly says.  
Peeta turns pale. ‘Please don’t. I don’t want to see your tits’  
Delly ignores her brother and follows Finnick’s lead. Johanna and I laugh at Peeta’s startled expression.

‘So when are the two of you going to start dating?’ Johanna slurs while pointing her finger at Peeta and me.  
I was just about to swallow a gulp of my drink, but her uncontemplated comment makes me choke in my beverage and I splutter out my drink. I quickly begin to laugh, so it looks like I choked because I was laughing, not because she startled me with her question.  
‘Never’ I say, still trying to laugh convincingly.  
‘Never’ Peeta agrees with me, but to my ears it sounds a little bit like a question.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be shy, please let me know what you're thinking! :D 
> 
> And don't worry, in the next chapter there will be even more Everlark interaction!
> 
> Oh, and if you have the time, please check out my newest story 'The Sun and The Rain' :)  
> xx


	5. The Masquerade Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Found the time to update this story quickly, so if there are any mistakes: sorry!
> 
> This chapter is rated explicit because of a very intimate scene ;)
> 
> Hope you enjoy! :)

**Peeta’s POV**

 

_Never. Never. Never._

Not only the word she spoke goes through my mind constantly, but also the way she sounded when she said it. Like us being more than friends was the most hilarious thought she had ever had. I could practically feel my heart breaking in my chest when she uttered the word. _Never_. Katniss holds my heart in her hand and she doesn’t even know it. _Am I destined to love my best friend in secret forever?_

‘Have you chosen a tux yet?’ my sister asks when she barges into my room.  
I’m still lying on my bed, ignoring the rack of tuxedos my mother send to me and torturing myself with the word that determined my future with the girl I love. Or rather, the lack of that future. ‘No’ I answer my sister.  
‘Well, what colour is Katniss wearing?’ Delly asks me.  
‘I don’t know’  
‘She didn’t tell you?’ Delly asks surprised.  
‘Why would she?’  
‘So the two of you can match. You’re probably going to dance with her the entire evening’  
‘Don’t count on it’ I let out a tortured sigh.

‘Okay what’s going on?’ Delly says annoyed. ‘Saturday the two of you were practically attached to the hip and Sunday you were all distant and cold towards her. Are the two of you fighting again?’  
‘No’  
‘Then why are you acting like this? All distant and mopey?’  
‘I’m not’ I try.  
‘Is this because she’s going to India tomorrow?’  
‘No’  
‘Is it.. is it because of Andrew?’ Delly asks, her voice considerately lower than it was a second ago.

That’s the other reason I’m still not dressed yet. This will be the first birthday my family celebrates without my older brother. It’s just another reminder that he’s gone and that he isn’t coming back. ‘Partially yes’ I admit.  
‘Yes.. I miss him too.. so much’ Delly can’t fight her tears anymore and she lets them run freely.  
My own grief and my sister’s get to me and soon the tears run over my cheek as well.  
Delly lays down next to me and I put my arms around her. We don’t say anything, we just weep in silence until the both of us feel better.

Delly breaks our silence. ‘So.. you said ‘partially’? What other reason is there that you’ve been moping around in your room all day?’  
I sigh and give in. ‘She said she never wanted to date me’  
‘When?’ Delly asks surprised.  
‘When you went skinny-dipping with Finnick. Johanna asked us when we were going to start to date’ I explain.  
‘Than she was lying’  
‘She wasn’t’  
‘Remember when we agreed that I was always right? She was lying’  
I chuckle. ‘We never agreed on such a thing’  
‘Then we’ll agree on it now. I’m a woman so I’m always right and I tell you: Katniss was lying’ she says firmly. ‘Now – let’s get you dressed. Your guests are already arriving’

Delly tells me to wear a simple black suite, so I’ll match with whatever Katniss is wearing and a dark green tie and mask. ‘That colour really makes your eyes pop’ Delly explains. ‘Katniss won’t be able to look away’ she says with a wink.  
_I hope so.._  
‘Let’s go. Before mother grabs us by our ears and drags us to the ballroom’

 

******

 

We’re late. A lot of our guests have already arrived and the rest of them are arriving now.  
‘You’re late!’ my mother complains when she walks over to us.  
‘Better late than never’ I say, faking cheerfulness.  
‘Indeed, mother’ Delly says. ‘Come Peeta, let’s welcome your guests’ she says and she drags me away.

I follow my sister, but I stop in my tracks when my eyes land on Katniss. A ballroom full with people and my eyes find her immediately, like we’re the only ones here.  
She looks breathtakingly beautiful. I literally forget how to breathe for a couple of seconds. She’s wearing a dark purple ball gown, her raven coloured hair is in a bun in her neck and on her face she wears a black mask that brings all the attention to her silver eyes.  
I can see that she’s looking for someone and when she sees me, she has apparently found the person she was looking for, because her face splits into a wide smile and she makes her way over to Delly and me.

When she’s standing in front of me, I want to say a million things to her. _You look gorgeous. You always do. Please don’t leave again. I just got you back. Why don’t you want to be me with me? I love you. I always have and I always will._  
Luckily for me Delly begins to talk, so I don’t accidently blurt out everything on my mind. ‘Katniss!’ Delly excitedly greets our friend. ‘You look amazing’  
‘Thank you’ she says and she smiles kindly. ‘You look beautiful yourself, Delly. The caramel colour suits you perfectly’  
I notice that Katniss’ mask is covered in shiny black stones when she turns her gaze back to me. ‘Congratulations Peeta. Officially 23’ Katniss says and she kisses my cheek.  
‘The music is beginning’ Delly states. ‘You two should dance!’

 

******

 

**Katniss’ POV**

 

And that’s how I find myself in Peeta’s arms again. I’m perfectly content while I make my body follow Peeta’s lead. I’m overwhelmed by his scent, the way his body feels against mine – we fit perfectly together, like two adjoining pieces in a puzzle – and the fire Peeta stirs up inside of me when he lays his hand on my lower back.

We’ve danced 6 songs in a perfect silence when Peeta breaks it. ‘Excited about going to India?’ he asks me in a quiet tone.  
‘I am’ I say truthfully. I look up into his sky blue eyes when I add ‘but I am going to miss home a lot’  
‘Home is going to miss you too’ he sighs.  
‘Peeta!’ a loud shriek startles the both of us and breaks our bubble.  
Peeta lets go of me to turn to our intruder. It’s Glimmer. _What a surprise.._  
She wishes him a happy birthday and asks if she can have the next dance, since the song has now ended. To my surprise Peeta says that she can.  
‘Thank you for the dance’ I say, hopefully sounding grateful instead of the confusion and the jealousy I feel when Peeta agrees to dance with someone else.

An hour later, filled with some drinks and socializing with people I hardly know, my eyes fall on Delly’s sparkling caramel dress. She’s alone and headed to the balcony. I can use some fresh air too, so I follow her.

‘Katniss, Katniss, Katniss’ Delly slurs when she sees me. ‘What are you doing here with me? Why aren’t you dancing with my brother?’  
‘He’s dancing with someone else’ I mutter.  
She sighs dramatically. ‘My brother is such a fool. Such a fool’  
I laugh. ‘And why is that?’  
‘Because he’s dancing with someone else and he’s in love with you, not with the girl he’s dancing with now’  
_What?!_ Her confession hits me like a thunderbolt. ‘You’re drunk’  
‘I am, but I’m always right’ she laughs after she adds ‘Especially when I’m drunk’ Delly sits down to stop the spinning in her head.  
‘He’s in love with me?’ I ask in shock. _I think my head is spinning too._  
‘He always was. You should’ve seen him when the two of you weren’t friends those years. He was always moping around – especially in the beginning – and the only thing he did was partying and hooking up with random skanks. He got all mad when Andrew or I brought you up and then he ignored us for the rest of the day. I even caught him a couple of times when he was stalking your social media’ she laughs. ‘You did that too, didn’t you?’  
I’m speechless for a moment. My brain is progressing the words I never thought I would hear. ‘Yes’ I admit.  
‘Because you’re in love with him too’  
_Fuck it._ I am. ‘Yes’  
Delly groans. ‘I don’t feel so well. I need to puke’  
I’m still in shock, so I register Delly’s last words later than I normally would have. ‘Come, I’ll bring you to your room’

‘Is she all right?’ Peeta asks when Delly’s bodyguard and I try to bring her to her room. He must’ve seen us leave the ballroom.  
‘She’s a little under the weather’ I answer. No one needs to hear that the princess is drunk.  
‘I’ll help you’ Peeta says.  
‘Sure’ I say, sounding a little absent. My mind is still repeating Delly’s words. _What do I do with them? Do I tell Peeta how I feel? How should I act around him? Am I acting weird right now?_

 

******

 

**Peeta’s POV.**

 

Katniss goes into Delly’s room with Delly to help her undress and get her into bed. I figured Delly would appreciate it if Katniss would do that by herself, so I wait for Katniss in the hallway.

‘Thank you for doing that’ I say, when Katniss gets out of Delly’s room. ‘You’re a true friend’  
‘It was nothing’ she assures me, but she avoids my gaze when she answers.  
_Why won’t she look me in my-? O God, what did Delly tell her in her drunken state?!_  
‘I’m exhausted’ Katniss says. ‘Do you think I can take my off dress in your room?’  
_Holy crap._ I feel the heat rise to my cheeks. ‘Sure’ I mutter.

After I take off my shoes and my blazer, I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling, while Katniss is taking of her dress in my bathroom. All I can do is picture what she’s wearing underneath and what she’ll be wearing when she gets out of my bathroom. I don’t have to wait long. Soon, she’s standing in my bedroom, wearing my rope.  
‘Hey’ I say nervously. My voice even cracks a bit.  
Katniss doesn’t say anything, but just climbs onto my bed. I expect her to come lie next to me, but she doesn’t. She climbs over me and sits on my abdomen. Her ass is almost touching my balls.

I feel my cock starting to twitch. _Fuck!_ I cannot get a boner right now! I always dreamed, but never thought it would happen, that Katniss would be sitting on top of me naked. And now she almost is.  
‘If you want to head back to your party, you can’ Katniss whispers.  
‘I don’t’ I whisper back. I’m afraid that if I talk to loudly, Katniss will get off me or that the spell we’re under will be broken. I’m also afraid someone will hear us and will interrupt us.  
‘Did you enjoy your party?’ she asks me.  
‘Only when I danced with you’ I admit.  
‘Me too’ she says quietly. Her eyes drift to my lips and she licks hers.  
That’s my undoing. I was able to fight the desperate pleas of my cock to become hard, but not anymore. _Fuck.._  
Katniss feels the bulge in my pants and her eyes dart back to mine. I’m about to make a very embarrassed apology when a moan escapes her lips and she presses her ass against my dick. _Holy fuck.._  
‘Are you going to miss me when I’m gone?’  
‘Yes.. I just got you back..’ I whisper.

She brings her face inches from mine and then she presses her lips on mine. I longed for this moment for as long as I can remember and it’s perfect. Katniss’ lips are just as soft as I imagined and they feel even better pressed on mine than in my wildest dreams.  
Katniss swallows my moan when her tongue parts my lips and enters my mouth. Our tongues start to dance with one another’s, just like our bodies had in the ballroom an hour before. I can’t control my hands anymore and they travel under Katniss’ – my – rope. I start squeezing her ass lightly and then I travel up to her breasts. Her perfect, perky breasts I always enjoyed from afar.

Katniss uses her hands to unbutton my dress shirt and then she roams my chest. I flip us over so I’m the one on top. I break our kiss and hurriedly take off my dress shirt while Katniss impatiently unzips my pants. When all of my clothes have joined my shoes on the floor, Katniss takes off the rope and my eyes roam over her body.  
She’s wearing a strapless black bra with matching panties. I get even harder than I was before and when Katniss takes off her bra and panties, my cock twitches with anticipation. _I can’t wait any longer.._ She always was the lead actress in all of my wet dreams.

‘Are you on the pill?’ I whisper, a little breathless.  
‘Yes’ She pulls me in close and then she whispers in my ear ‘I don’t like the barrier’  
_Praise. The. Fucking. Lord._  
‘Are you ready?’ she asks.  
‘God, yes..’ I moan. I’ve been ready since I was 15…  
She takes my cock in her hand and rubs it past her folds. When my head comes in contact with her warm, drenched pussy, a loud, tortured moan escapes my lips and my dick starts to tremble. It’s official: she has the power to kill me.  
I take her hand of my cock and grab the other one from my hip and hold them over her head. ‘I want to look you in your eyes when I enter you’ I explain.  
The anticipation makes her swallow and I can see that she’s growing impatient. She’s not the only one, so I put my cock at her opening and press through her walls. We both gasp at the contact. Watching Katniss when I enter her is the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life. Her face contorts in pleasure and her breath quickens. I can only imagine how I look right now.

‘O my God..’ she moans.  
I make it my mission to make her scream in pleasure. To hear her scream my name when she comes again and again and again.  
I quicken my pace and the way her walls contract around my shaft feels so good, it feels almost too good to be true. ‘ _Katniss…_ ’  
‘ _Oh Peeta.._ ’

 

**Katniss’ POV**

 

Peeta slides out of me and we both whimper at the loss of contact, but then he rapidly pushes back inside of me and he reaches all of the needy and itching places inside of me.  
‘Yes, Peeta..’ I moan. ‘Just like that.. Don’t stop..’ I beg.  
He quickens his pace and my breathing becomes irregular and my skin starts to tingle, while Peeta brings me to my climax.

All I can concentrate on is Peeta and the place we are united, my caressed inside and my tormented g-spot.  
Liquid fire seems to burn me from within. I can’t remember when sex had been _this_ good. This intense. Maybe it had been once, but I don’t believe I’ve ever been this consumed by pleasure or the feeling that nothing else in the world matters.  
‘Peeetaaaa..! Oh.. Yes, yess..I’m close’ I moan and then the wave of my orgasm devours me. ‘ _Oooh.. Peeta.._ ’ I yell, I don’t even care that our security details can probably hear me on the other side of the door.  
I can feel Peeta give into his own orgasm and I saviour the feeling of his last throbbing pulsations.  
‘Fuuuuuck Katniiiisssss…!’ Peeta screams in ecstasy and it’s probably the most addictive thing I’ve ever heard.

 

******

 

I’m lying boneless in Peeta’s arms. Both of us are still naked. I don’t think I’ve ever been more content in my life. I let out a deep sigh.  
‘What’s wrong?’ Peeta whispers. He’s playing with my hair and kisses my crown.  
‘Nothing. This was just so.. so.. amazing’ I say. ‘You really know what to do with a lady under the sheets’  
Peeta chuckles and then he grows quiet. ‘Wake me when you leave tomorrow?’ he asks. He sounds a little sad.  
‘It already is tomorrow’ I sigh.  
‘What time does your flight take off?’  
‘Six am’  
‘Call me before you’re in the air’  
I laugh. ‘Won’t you be sleeping?’  
‘I don’t care’ he kisses my crown again and then I fall into a peaceful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be posting anymore chapters the next two weeks because of a trip I'm taking to Ireland! :)
> 
> I know this chapter swifts a lot between POV's, but I wanted to let you guys know how they both experienced this night :) Hope it wasn't too annoying.
> 
> Please let me know what you thought and felt! :) xx


	6. India

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of suicide and rape.
> 
> I hope no one will be offended by the subjects Katniss will encounter this chapter, this was not my intention.
> 
> During the interview 'TM' stands for Thresh Mehra and 'LKE' stands for Lady Katherine Everdeen.

 

**Katniss' POV**

 

It’s half past five and Madge and I are about to hop into our private plane that will take us to India.

‘I’m going to make a quick phone call to Peeta’ I tell Madge.  
He was sleeping so soundly when I left, I didn’t have the heart to wake him. Just thinking how cute he looked asleep, makes my heart ache. I just saw him 2 hours ago, but I already miss him.

‘Okay. It’s too cold for me outside, so I’ll see you inside’ Madge says while she blows into her hands as a mean to keep her hands warm.  
Madge runs up the stairs and enters the plane while I dial Peeta’s number. As I expected, Peeta doesn’t wake up and I get his voicemail. I follow Madge into the plane and when I take my seat, I send him a text.

 **Katniss today 5:37am:** _Plane is about to take off. I’ll see you in a few short months xx_

 

‘What did he say?’ Madge asks when I take my seat.  
‘He didn’t answer’ I reply.  
‘Oh.. Well you can call him when we’re there’ she says and she gives me an encouraging smile.  
I nod. ‘Yes, I thought so too’  
Madge holds up her cell. ‘Let’s make a selfie for you Instagram account. Publicity and all’  
‘Sure’ I say. ‘And then let’s sleep. I’m exhausted. I only slept two hours tonight’  
‘Yes, how was the party?’ Madge asks with her eyes trained on her phone.  
‘Boring’ I answer.  
‘Then why were you up all night?’ Madge asks confused.  
I turn as red as a tomato. ‘Uuuh.. No particular reason’ I mumble.  
Madge looks up at me immediately. ‘Katherine Kamillya Everdeen, what were you up to last night?’ my friend asks with an mischievous glint in her eyes.  
‘Nothing’ I lie, still with beet red cheeks.  
‘O. My. God!’ she says excitedly. ‘Did you spend the night-‘ she looks around us to see if the flight crew isn’t eavesdropping and she lowers her voice to a whisper when she continues ‘ _with a certain prince_?’  
I don’t answer. I just give her a meaningful look.  
‘You did! O my God, you so did!’ she squeals. ‘ _Finally.._ ’ she lets out in a sigh.

 

******

 

Nine hours later, filled with uncomfortable sleep, reading, a movie and some card games, Madge and I finally land in New Delhi.

I turn the airplane mode on my phone off and I immediately get a few texts. Prim wishes me a good flight and reminds me that she’s looking forward to her visit in a couple of months. My dad asks me to mail my parents as often as possible and reminds me that he loves me. I’m saving the best for last, so after I return my family’s texts, I open Peeta’s.

 **Peeta today 9:17am:** _So sorry I slept through your call! Please call me as soon as you read this._

I check the time. It’s now almost 8pm here, which means it’s a little after 3pm in England. I want to call him, but my battery is dying, so I decide to call Peeta when Madge and I arrive at our apartment.

 

******

 

Madge and I expected to be in the apartment at 9pm, but we arrive at midnight. First we had to wait an hour for our luggage – a large commercial flight from the U.S. flew in the same time we had – and after that it took the driver two hours to drop us off at our apartment. We ended up in a traffic jam, but I also think the driver got lost.

In the end it doesn’t matter. Madge, Thom and I got dropped off at the right apartment and that’s all that matters. The three of us are all exhausted, so after we walk through our door we bid each other goodnight. I take a quick shower and when my head hits my pillow, I’m in dreamland.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning Madge wakes me with the promise of breakfast. Madge didn’t make the breakfast herself, our maid Nisha did. WAOATS was not only kind enough to get us an apartment, but also a driver and a maid. Our driver George, will take us wherever we need or want to go and Nisha will cook, clean and do our laundry.

When I get out of bed, the first thing I do is check my phone. _Fuck!_ I forgot to charge it. I angrily put it on the charger. I couldn’t call Peeta anyway, it’s 3:30 in the morning in England. I join Madge for breakfast and we talk about our schedule for the day.

 

******

 

‘Hello, I’m Mr. Gupta’ a man of forty-something with caramel brown eyes introduces himself to Madge and me. He enthusiastically shakes our hands and thanks us again for joining his battle.

‘It’s an honour to be here, sir’ I say in all honesty. ‘We both are very impressed with your organisation and your mission’  
‘And we’re very excited to help you’ Madge adds.  
‘You have no idea what your help means to us. Both of you are activists that have done a lot for this world and we believe that with your help we can reach a lot of people and share our believes with them’  
‘Thank you’ Madge and I say at the exact same time.

‘May I introduce Thresh Mehra to you?’ he says and he gestures at the man a few feet behind him.  
Thresh comes forward and introduces himself to Madge and me.  
‘Mr. Mehra is one of our spokespersons. He joined ‘We Are One And The Same’ a couple of years ago and he has helped our organisation in the best of ways. Thanks to him, we are now the widely known organisation we are today’ Mr. Gupta explains.  
‘Well, I can’t take all the credit. Mr. Gupta here is the real hero’ he smiles a broad smile at Mr. Gupta and gives him a pat on the shoulder. He turns back to us and adds ‘And please call me Thresh’

Thresh has dark skin and very cropped dark hair. He is very tall and strong build, but his best feature are his eyes. They are a unique golden brown colour.  
‘You both will see a lot of Thresh in the upcoming months’ Mr. Gupta tells us. ‘He almost has the same schedule as you’  
I smile at Thresh and he gives me a wink. _Okay.._  
‘But let’s talk about this week’s schedule first’ Mr. Gupta excitedly says.

When he leads the three of us to a conference room, Madge quickly whispers to me that Thresh is a famous Bollywood actor.  
‘Really?’ I whisper surprised.  
She nods excitedly. ‘He has won tons of prices. He is indeed a great spokesperson for WAOATS’  
He probably is. _Much better than I’ll ever be.._  
Madge probably reads my nervous expression because she says ‘Relax Katniss, if they didn’t believe in you the same way they believe in Thresh, they wouldn’t have asked you’  
I smile gratefully at her.

This week we have a lot of publicity related stuff to do. Do a shoot for billboards, shoot a commercial video – I almost pass out due to the nervousness when I hear that – and give an interview.

‘You didn’t tell me I had to shoot a commercial’ I say when Madge and I are back in our car.  
‘I didn’t know. Relax Katniss, you’ll be fine and you won’t have to do it alone’  
She’s right. Madge and Thresh will be in the video and on the billboards as well and the interview is with Thresh too.  
‘By the way, I invited Thresh for dinner tonight when you were on the loo’ Madge tells me.  
‘Good idea’ I say ‘I’d like to get to know him better before we’ll spend almost all of our time with him’  
‘My thoughts exactly’

 

******

 

When we get to our apartment, I immediately take my phone of the charger. I have a missed text and a missed call from Peeta. I see he send it today at 1:39pm which means it was about 9am when he texted me from England.

 **Peeta today 1:39pm:** _Katniss please call me back. I’m starting to worry. Are you mad?_

My heart aches when I read his text. The poor guy thinks I’m mad at him..  
I immediately call him so I can put him at ease. He’s not picking up, so I decide to leave him a message.

‘Hey Peeta, it’s Katniss. I’m sorry I haven’t called you yet. I was so exhausted last night and my phone died. India is great by the way. Madge and I quite enjoy the heat.. And the organisation is great too. I have to do a video commercial for them with a famous Bollywood actor. Can you believe it?’ – I laugh nervously – ‘Madge invited him to dinner tonight, so we can get to know him a little before we have to work with him 24/7. But he seems nice enough. So, what are your plans for the next 6 months? Or just the next week? How is Delly doing?’ – I’m quiet for a second and my voice lowers – ‘I already miss you Peeta… Talk to you soon, okay..?’

 

******

 

Thresh seems like a great guy. He laughs a lot and it’s a nice laugh to hear. _Almost as nice as Peeta’s._

‘Why did you join WAOATS?’ I ask during dinner.  
His smile falters and he turns serious. ‘My sister got raped a couple of years ago and a couple of months after the attack she killed herself. She couldn’t live with the trauma anymore’  
Madge and I both give our sympathies.  
‘You can imagine I had a lot of anger bubbling inside of me' Thresh continues. 'I was furious with the men that raped her and in my opinion, chased her into her death. Unfortunately women are seen as unequal here and sometimes even seen as property. I don’t believe that to be true and I want girls to be safe in this country, unlike my sister Yasmin was. I took my anger and used it in my fight for equality. I also want to honour the memory of my sister. I don’t want people to remember her only by her death, but who she was and could have been’

‘ _Wow.._ ’ Madge utters.  
His story takes me by surprise. I’m really impressed with the strength he has found after his sister’s death and how he decided to honour her memory. Lord knows I’d be nowhere if I lost Prim. ‘Thresh that is amazing and so honourable. Your sister can be very proud of you’ I say and I'm unable to keep my eyes dry.  
He smiles gratefully. ‘Thank you. After that I shared my political beliefs on equality and feminism in every interview I gave and then WAOATS contacted me. I immediately said yes’

I raise my glass. ‘To immediately saying yes to equality’

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Thresh and I have our interview.

It’s an interview for a magazine owned by a famous Bollywood actress and both of us will be on the cover of the next issue. It’s a very unique interview because we get to interview each other. There’s no interviewer, only a photographer and a recorder.

This makes me feel really comfortable. Talking with Thresh is surprisingly easy. I only have to remind myself not to think too much about Peeta and that I have to ask Thresh questions as well.

Thresh starts the interview.

**TM: So, party girl turns into activist. How did that happen?**

_LKE: Ouch.. But I guess I was a party girl as a teen, wasn’t I? I came to a point in my life I never thought I’d reach, but unfortunately it did (edit: the “snatch-scandal”). Now, I’m glad it happened, otherwise I wouldn’t have been here with you changing lives of countless people. After the scandal I re-evaluated my life and started to ask myself some hard questions. “Is this who I am? Is this who I want to be? Is this what I want people to know me as?” The answer was no. I wanted to be someone who uses her voice to make a difference. To help someone else make the world a better place._

**TM: And you did. Still do.**

_LKE: I hope so. And you are too. How did that happen?_

**TM: My sister got raped on her way back home from school. A couple of months later she ended her life, she couldn’t live with the trauma anymore. I was overwhelmed by my grief and anger at the men that hurt my sister and decided that I wasn’t going to let her die in vain. Women are not unequal or men’s property, even if the rapist of my sister believed so. I made a promise to my mother and my sister, after she passed, to share my beliefs and to try change this country.**

_LKE: That’s amazing. I’m certain your sister is very proud of you._

**TM: Thank you. What about you, why did you join ‘We Are One And The Same’?**

_LKE: I’m a woman, so naturally I’m a feminist. I believe that every woman and man should be a feminist. Feminism isn’t about hating men, it’s believing you’re equal and have a mutual respect for one another. It’s believing in the competence of women and liberating both sexes from gender prejudices._

**TM: I believe that too.**

_LKE: And like you said, I’m an activist and I always wanted to help fellow feminists in their battle. When I got that chance at ‘We Are One And The Same’ I was excited and so honoured, I immediately said yes._

**TM: Did you suffer from gender prejudices in your life?**

_LKE: I did. As a child my father taught me how to shoot a bow and arrow in our garden. I instantly loved it. It’s a little dangerous, precise and thrilling. It’s also a great sport to compete in. I joined a club when I was 10, but I never got to compete in games in the club, because I was a girl. The contests were only for men, the women had to stand at the side of the field and form an audience._  
_Now as a grown woman, people expect me to marry and bear a lot of children. People don’t give women the choice to die unwed and childless. There are a lot of woman who don’t want to get married or have kids and that’s considered odd. I don’t think that’s fair._

**TM: Are you one of those women?**

_LKE: I’m not even 23 yet (edit: LKE turns 23 next May). I don’t know if I want to get married or have children yet. Maybe not ever. I really like my job as an activist and I already know that’s not a job you can mix with raising children. And this is not a world yet where I want my kids to grow up in. The only thing I know right now is that I want to keep fighting for our world, fulltime, and the people in it._

_LKE: What about you? Did you suffer from gender prejudices in your life?_

**TM: Yes, as a boy I was bullied for being in the drama club at my school and for wanting to be an actor when I grew up. People thought it was girlish – not that that’s wrong.**

_LKE: Well, look at you know!_

**TM: (laughs) Yes, I showed them didn’t I? And as a grown man I’m judged for showing emotion. When we buried my sister, I cried and that made people uncomfortable. People think of a sensitive man as a weak man.**

_LKE: That can’t be easy. Being judged for showing emotion, but women have that too. We are quickly labelled as hysterical._

**TM: Emotions make people human. It should be seen as a strength, not a weakness. It’s the only thing that differs us from animals.**

_LKE: I disagree. I believe that animals can feel sadness and joy too. When you pet a cat, it spins in contentment – it’s happy. When you play with your dog, you can see the excitement and happiness in its body language. When a goose loses its partner, it stays home to grief and is joined by two other geese even if they were about to migrate to the South._

**TM: You’re right – again. Animals do show us emotion, people are just to self-centred to see it. You love animals, tell me about the ones you saved on your missions.**

_LKE: I went to Brazil to the Amazon rainforest to help stop the deforestation. We needed to find evidence on corrupt officials and bring them to justice. Educate the local population on the effects deforestation has and we helped set up organisations that guard the rainforest at night. In Kenya and Zimbabwe I helped safe wildlife and stop poachers. We succeeded in changing the law on crimes against wildlife in Kenya. Soon we’ll succeed in Zimbabwe too!_

_LKE: What’s your favourite animal?_

**TM: The Indian elephant! (he laughs) What about you?**

_LKE: (laughs too) A sweet, clever and majestic animal indeed. So, we have to end this interview with 3 unknown facts about us and a quote that inspires us. Satisfy us Thresh!_

**TM: (laughs) Okay, 1: I have a tattoo on my shoulder blade of the ‘Unity in Diversity’ symbol, 2. The most important person in my life is my mother and 3. My favourite snack is popcorn. My favourite quote is “Feminism is believing in the competence of women and liberating both sexes from gender prejudices” from Lady Katherine Everdeen.**

_LKE: (laughs)_

**TM: And you still haven’t told me your favourite animal.**

_LKE: I honestly don’t have a favourite, but the horse I had as a child will always have a special place in my heart. And I really love songbirds._

**TM: Your turn: 3 facts and a quote.**

_LKE: 1. My lucky number is 13, 2. My parents named me after the Catnip flower and 3. I’m afraid of clowns. My favourite quote is “What is done in love is done well” from Vincent van Gogh or just “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Those quotes both guided me to where I am now._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter our crown prince will be the center of attention and his struggles of being the heir to the throne and missing his "friend" Katniss ;)
> 
> I hope you all liked this chapter, please let me know! :)
> 
> And remember: What is done in love is done well! xx


	7. The Countryside Tour

**Peeta's POV**

 

I’m having some tea in the rose garden when my cell phone starts to ring. My mood improves greatly when I see Katniss’ picture lighting up my phone.

‘Katniss, finally! How’ve you been?’ I practically shout. I’m so relieved to finally hear her voice. She’s been gone for a full week and I still haven’t spoken to her since our night together.  
‘I’ve been great and really busy’ she replies and she tells me about the shoot she just had, the kids she met during the shoot and _Thresh_. ‘I can’t wait to see the pictures. I can’t wait for you to see the pictures’  
‘Yeah me too.. So you see this Thresh a lot, huh?’ I ask, trying very hard to not let the jealousy inside me resound in my voice.

‘Yes, he’s a spokesperson too, so we work a lot together. Luckily he’s really nice, so that makes it much easier to be around him so much’ she answers.  
‘That’s great..’ I lie. ‘How many weeks until you come back again?’ I quickly ask. _I’m already counting down the seconds._  
Katniss laughs. ‘Twenty-three’  
‘Twenty-three.. You’ll celebrate your 23rd birthday in that period and I won’t be there..’ I say and I’m unable to hide my sad tone. It will be her fourth birthday in a row that I won’t celebrate with her.  
‘That doesn’t matter. We’ll celebrate when I get back home’

‘Deal. I’ll throw you a big masquerade ball’ I joke.  
She laughs. ‘Please don’t’ she says mortified. ‘I was thinking of something small and intimate at Rosings’  
_Intimate_. I can only hope she gets the same thoughts as I do when she says that word. I need to swallow hard before I answer. ‘That does sound a whole lot better’ I say with a smile.  
‘What are you up to this week?’ she asks me.  
‘Well, tomorrow I’ll leave for my very first PR tour..’  
‘I can hear you’re excited’ she says in a sarcastic tone.  
‘Well, it would’ve been more bearable if you’d be here’ I say in all honestly. ‘And to be honest I’m quite nervous about the whole thing..’ I admit.

‘Peeta, you have no reason to be nervous, trust me. Be yourself and people will love you’  
‘You really believe so?’  
‘I _know_ so. People gravitate towards you Peeta. You’re kind, funny and clever. Charismatic and charming. I truly belief you have what it takes to become a great king’  
‘Really? Because I recall you once said England was lucky that a disloyal, backstabbing playboy like me wouldn’t be the head of its nation’ I say with a carefree smile. I know she feels terrible about that remark and she didn’t really mean it.  
‘You remembered that?’ Katniss asks, guilt evident in her voice.  
‘I remember everything you ever said to me Katniss..’ I quietly admit.  
‘Well you can forget that comment. I was really mad and I don’t believe you to be that person anymore’  
‘I’m not’ I assure her. I don’t want her to think I’m still some kind of player.  
I hear someone call her name. Her break is over. ‘Peeta, I have to go. Say hi to your family from me’  
I smile. _I know exactly who she wants me to give her regards._ ‘Yes, I’ll give your regards to Delly and my dad’

She laughs. ‘Thank you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?’  
I sigh. ‘I can’t. I’ll be busy traveling through the countryside and meeting my people the next couple of days’  
‘Then we’ll talk Friday?’  
‘No, we’re hosting the King of Sweden then..’ I say disappointed.  
‘And Saturday?’ hope clearly evident in her voice.  
I sigh. ‘Saturday I have a charity event..’ _Why does it have to be like this?_ ‘Hey at least we have a lot to tell each other on Sunday’ I say, trying my best to sound cheerful.  
‘I guess’ she says disappointed.  
‘Good luck tomorrow and have fun’ I say, trying to remind her of all the great things she will do there.  
‘Thank you, you too’  
‘Lady Katherine!’ I hear someone yell on the other end of the line. She really has to hang up now. ‘Peeta, I’ll talk to you Sunday’ Katniss says.  
I try to bite my tongue, but my heart is quicker. ‘I love y-‘ I say, but before I can complete my sentence, she has hung up.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day I leave for my very first PR tour and I’m almost overwhelmed by the nerves I feel. The only thing keeping me sane are the words Katniss spoke to me during our phone call yesterday.  
_Katniss_ believes that I have what it takes to be a great king. She believes that the people will love me for me. But does she love me? Like I love her? She did say I was kind, funny and clever..

Unfortunately for me, my dad is not joining me on the rural tour, but my mother is. And apparently, Glimmer is too.  
‘Glimmer what on earth are you doing here?’ I ask shocked, when she enters my family’s private plane.  
‘I have chosen her to be my lady in waiting on the rural tour, dear’ my mother explains and she gives me a sweet smile.

Glimmer sits down next to me on the arm of my chair. ‘Isn’t that great, Peeta? We can finally spend some time together again. Maybe even extend our membership at a certain club’ she says with a wink and she starts to play with the curls in the back of my neck. _Always so subtle.._  
I tap her hand away in irritation. _Absolutely not._

 

******

 

We’re about to land so I decide to get dressed in the small – but comfortable – sleeping chamber in the plane. I’m not sure if there’s a dress code when someone goes on a rural tour, so I put on a safe option. A black suit with a black tie.

‘What are you wearing?’ my mother demands when I re-join her in the sitting area. ‘You aren’t going a night out in New York’ she says with disgust. ‘The footman has laid out something more country appropriate on your bed’  
I look at the outfit she’s wearing. A pink cocktail dress and high heels. ‘What about you?’ I ask annoyed.  
She gives me an arrogant smile. ‘I’m the Queen, people expect me to look like the queen’

I go back to the ‘bedroom’ to change into the outfit my mother approves of. I’m already half naked when Glimmer decides to join me.  
‘Don’t stop there..’ she complains with a sly smile. She lays on top of the bed and pulls her dress up slowly until I can see her thong. ‘Get it? _I’m a lady in waiting_?’  
I suppress the urge to roll my eyes at her. ‘Yes, I get it, Glimmer.. but I don’t think-‘  
‘Don’t worry, I’ll go’ she interrupts me. ‘You have a lot on your mind’ the playful glint in her eyes of a moment ago, turns into a serious one. ‘I understand how important this tour is. The world is finally getting a peak of the King I know you’ll be’

She gets off the bed and closes the few feet between us. I can feel her breath on my lips as she strokes my cheek. ‘I just wanted to remind you that the next King of England gets _me_. On a plane. Tonight’ her lips place a long kiss on my cheek and I pull away. ‘Make me proud out there baby. And don’t keep me waiting too long’ she winks again and then she leaves.

 

******

 

‘I cannot overstate the importance of the next couple of days’ my mother says when I’m at her side again. ‘This will be the first time the public will see you as the new heir. Do not screw up!’ she sighs heavily, like she’s already disappointed in me. _I wouldn’t be surprised if she was.._  
‘Furthermore, to avoid epic press failures, you must stick only to your improved script and topics’ my mother continues. ‘Don’t try to tell any jokes and you mustn’t speak of money, race, sexual identity, politics and religion’

‘Than what does that leave to talk about?’  
‘Cheese’ my mother answers.  
‘They are very proud of their cheese in this part of the kingdom’ Ms. Paylor, my mother’s assistant, informs me.

‘The unique import of this countryside tour is to give us the chance to remind the people who we are and what we can do for them. Andrew got so scrutinised by his appearances that even his socks were sold out when photos of him got published’ my mother tells me with a proud smile.

‘Maybe it had more to do with the man wearing them’ I say.

‘Well, we’ll see, won’t we?’ my mother says and she quirks an eyebrow. ‘Oh! And try not to sleep with anyone in the villages, dear’

 

******

 

I’m relieved when I can finally leave the plane. Being with mother and Glimmer in a small space for hours, with no way out and both of them sober, makes me become a ticking time bomb. Both of them have the power to drive me insane with their annoying materialistic conversations, arrogance and bitchy comments about everything that breathes.

My mother immediately puts on her best charm when we are greeted by the villagers. ‘How do you do?’ she kindly asks when she shakes everyone’s hand. ‘Thank you darling’ she says with a sweet smile when a young girl gives her a bouquet of flowers.

I’m offered a piece of cheese at a stall that displays 5 kinds of different cheese. ‘Mmm.. it’s uhm good.. uuh.. very good.. very spicy?’ I awkwardly say when the burning taste of the cheese isn’t as strong anymore. ‘Perhaps we should throw that one out..?’ I say while pointing at a blue cheese. ‘Because it’s mouldy cheese’ I try to joke.

My mom creeps up on me like a hunter on its prey. ‘No jokes!’ my mother hisses from behind me. ‘You’re the king, not a comedian’  
Okay, no more jokes. Let’s try a more.. _considerate_ approach.

I walk towards a pregnant woman. ‘Have you chosen a name yet?’ I ask with a kind smile.  
‘A name..?’ she asks confused.  
‘You know, for..’ I say and I tentatively point to her belly.  
She gasps and she turns positively red. ‘I’m not preg-’ she mumbles and then she turns around and paces away.

She isn’t the only one who’s cheeks flame up. _Oh sweet Lord.._

 

******

 

‘Are you a bloody moron?’ my mother yells when we get back in the plane after a few hours.  
I nervously rub the back of my neck. ‘In my defence she looked quite pregnant’ I try.  
‘I don’t care if she looked like the blessed bloody virgin!’ my mother yells at me. ‘Never say that to a woman! God dammit, Peeta! This is where you stand where we darn well tell you to stand and say what we darn well tell you to say!’

I let out a weary sigh. ‘Yes, mother..’ I agree, but my mother isn’t finished with me yet.  
‘This is why you get a script! And a list of approved conversation topics!’ she keeps ranting. ‘You are not allowed to talk to any more fat persons while we’re on this tour’  
‘Yes, mother..’

_Thank God this day is over._

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning I get a text in the plane when we’re headed to the next village.

 **Finnick today 9:23am:** _I assume I’m Best Man?_

I open the photos he send with his text. They are both of front pages of two tacky tabloid magazines.

The first one reads “ **PRINCE PETER GETTING COSY WITH EX OR IS GLIMMER FIELTON BACK IN THE PICTURE?** ”

It’s a photo of Glimmer sitting on my the arm of my chair while she plays with the curls in my neck.

The second article is even more of a nightmare.

The title is: “ **OLD LOVERS REUNITE ON COUNTRYSIDE TOUR** ” and is joined by a picture of Glimmer kissing my cheek while I’m shirtless.

Both of these pictures were taken yesterday on this plane and I know exactly who took them.

‘Mother!’ I yell angrily and I jump out of my chair. I’m absolutely livid. ‘Stop messing with my personal life!’ I yell at her.  
‘I have no clue what you’re talking about dear’ she calmly says.

I show her both of the photos Finnick send me.  
‘I only posted those pictures on our Instagram account for some free publicity for this tour. I can’t help the press from reading between the lines’  
‘There are no lines to read between!’ I yell.

‘Calm yourself! I do not accept your tone. I’m your mother _and_ your _queen_ ’ she says with a furious expression.  
We both stare angrily at one another for a second and then she gives me a fake smile. ‘Listen dear, let me simplify things for you: it doesn’t matter that the tabloids are writing about your reunion with Glimmer-‘  
‘We are not reunited’ I say, cutting her off.  
She ignores my comment and continues. ‘It is important that you are in the tabloid with something positive. We need all the publicity we can get for this tour, because our role this tour – and all similar tours – is to seem like you’re interested’  
‘Why not _be_ interested?’ I ask, still not over my initial anger.  
‘Don’t be naïve dear’ my mother answers and she goes back to her phone. ‘Oh and remember: don’t ever think. Just do what we tell you to do’

 

******

 

‘What’s wrong darling?’ Glimmers asks me when I’m moping in my chair.  
‘Where to begin?’ I sulk. ‘Have you seen the pictures of us in the tabloids?’  
‘Yes. Quite flattering for the both of us. Especially you, with that divine torso of yours’  
I glare at her. ‘I disagree’ I say with gritted teeth.  
‘Don’t worry about it. Tomorrow they have to publish something new’ Glimmer says, sounding a bit bored.

My mind goes back to Katniss. Had she seen the pictures? What will she think?

‘What else is going on in that pretty, manly head of yours?’ Glimmer asks, sounding hopeful for some juicy secret or something.  
‘I was such a disaster yesterday’ I quietly say and then I look her in her eyes. ‘How do you know every trick imaginable to get people to like you?’  
Something in her eyes changes before she answers. ‘You don’t understand, do you? It’s survival, really’ she admits and she looks away. ‘If my body doesn’t do the trick, than that’s all I got left for people to like me’ she’s silent and then she turns back to me.

‘You have something that most people don’t have, what we could never learn. Natural charisma. People like you for _you_ ’

That’s exactly what Katniss said. Instead of listening to her, I let my mother feed my insecurities. i should've trusted the words from the person I love most and let me be myself.

So that’s exactly what I plan to do – be the charismatic, funny, kind and clever person Katniss sees me as.

 

******

 

We are enthusiastically welcomed when we arrive. Katniss words keep replaying in my mind and that, along with her trust in me, make almost all the nerves disappear.

I’m approaching a group of guys about my age. One of them is wearing a Liverpool shirt and I laugh when I shake his hand. ‘I feel sorry for you. Real sorry’ I start. ‘Supporting Liverpool. Each season a bigger disappointment than the last one’ I say and I shake my head again.  
The guy laughs. ‘And who do you support? Let me guess? Manchester?’  
‘Hold on’ I say and I hold up my hand in mock surrender. ‘We could keep arguing about football, or do it the old fashion way. With pints and beers in our hands? Do you gave a pub?’  
‘Do we have a pub?’ the guy enthusiastically says. ‘Follow me your highness and I’ll show you a _great_ pub’

All the people in the pub chant my name when I drink my pint in one gulp. I slam the glass on the bar and ask the barkeeper for two more.

‘You seem charming’ she says as she fixes the first one. ‘And like you can have a good time’  
‘Thank you’ I say smiling.  
‘Those aren’t the qualities I want in my King’ her eyes flit to the crowd behind me when she adds, ‘but maybe that’s just me though’  
‘What do you want from your king?’ I ask, intrigued by her honesty.  
‘Someone that recognises when they have the power to make the world a better place. Someone who changes lives and inspires us to do the same. Like Lady Katherine Everdeen does’

The mention of her name makes my heart ache again. But the barkeeper is right – the work she does for our world is incredibly inspiring, but also honourable and selfless.  
Those are just a few of the millions of reasons as to why I love her. ‘Yes, she inspires me too’ I admit. ‘I think she inspires a lot of people’

The barkeeper hands me the two pints. I thank her and I give one to the “Liverpool guy”.

‘Cheers’ we yell.

 

******

 

After the refreshing beers, I leave the pub on my own and find an old smith.

When I walk inside, I am surprised by what I see. ‘Saddle making?’ I ask. ‘Please – continue your work’ I say when the young saddle maker gets up to greet me.

‘May I?’ I ask, pointing at one of the saddles. ‘I play a bit of polo’ I let my eyes and hands roam the saddle and am impressed by the saddle’s quality. ‘It’s incredible’ I say in awe. ‘My compliments’

‘Thank you your highness, but it’s my father’s work. I could never produce the same quality’ the young man says and he sighs in disappointment. ‘No matter how many hours I put it. Guess my hearts just isn’t in it..’  
‘Then what _is_ your heart in?’ I ask. I walk towards some boots and admire them. ‘Everyone’s heart is in something’ I say.  
‘You’re holding it’ the guy says.

I look up in surprise. ‘You made these? These are amazing’  
‘I always wanted to have a small shop’ the young man admits.  
‘You should absolutely have one!’ I state.  
‘You’ve seen this village Your Highness. It’s very traditional. I’ll be the fifth generation to own this shop and make saddles. There are no place for boots in this town’

I nod. ‘I understand – pressures of the family business. Believe me, I get that..’  
‘Than you know there are dreams and there are duties’ he says with a sad look in his eyes that he tries very hard to hide with a smile.

The words the bartender spoke come back to me. Katniss is out helping and inspiring the world and I have the power to at least do that for my nation. ‘I’d like to buy these, if I can’ I say.

 

‘A beautiful pair of handmade boots by Gareth Blight from Creek Village’ I yell when photographers take pictures of the Royal visitors when we leave and I point at the new boots I’m wearing.  
People enthusiastically clap and now chant Gareth’s name.  
When I see him standing in the crowd, with a huge grin plastered on his face, I can’t help but hope I helped him to make his dream come true.

 

******

 

_‘Prince Peeta managed a warm reception. The villagers said he could not have been more impressive on his first tour..-‘_

I hear the news reporter say on my mother’s iPad, but I drown out the noise. I’m on Instagram, checking out all the photo’s Katniss has posted in India. Her latest one is of her and Thresh in some restaurant. The caption reads: _Great food and even better company (: @threshmehra_

I go to Thresh’ account and to my horrification I see he has posted 3 selfies of him and Katniss and even one picture of Katniss by herself. I click on that one and read the caption.

_The stars aligned when this woman was born! Not only gorgeous, but also a good soul and a true inspiration. So lucky to have met her and even luckier to work with her every day for #wa1ats!_

When I read the comments under one of the selfies with Katniss Thresh has posted, the panic that goes through me almost makes me choke.

_**Wow.. such chemistry!** _

_**You can clearly see how much they like each other #lifegoals** _

**_They are sooooo cute together!! :D_ **

**_Omg, so jealous of LKE!_ **

**_They are totally in love! <3 <3_ **

 

‘She has a nice boyfriend’ Glimmer says when she sits down across from me. ‘I follow her too’  
‘He’s not her boyfriend’ I say absently, still praying to God he’s not.  
‘Peeta, you have to stop this. This crush or love you have for her. She said so herself, she’s _never_ going to date you’

 _Never. Never. Never._ And there it was again. The word that had been haunting me in my sleep.

‘How do you know about that?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Johanna told me when we went clubbing this week’ Glimmer explains.  
‘Yeah well.. You don’t know everything..’ I say, thinking of our night together. If she really had meant the ‘Never’, she wouldn’t have slept with me. _Right?_  
‘Well, you don’t either’ Glimmer says. ‘You have no idea what she thinks or how she feels about that Bollywood actor’

And that’s how that damn seed started to grow into a tree of doubt and insecurity.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day I’m lying on my own bed and I’m reading the interview Katniss did with Thresh.  
I keep rereading the part where Katniss says she doesn’t want to get married or have children and that she wants to keep being a fulltime activist.

Dreams or duties.

All my dreams are dead if she really means what she said. Then I only have my duties to keep me warm at night.

The fact that Katniss has posted a selfie of her and Thresh, Thresh smiling broadly and with Katniss kissing his cheek, does not make me feel better. At all.  
The caption reads: _So lucky to work with @threshmehra, such a handsome dork. #WA1ATS_

I make the wise decision to not read the comments this time.

 

I didn’t think I could feel worse than I feel right this moment, but the universe proves me wrong when Delly barges into my room. She’s crying and I can read the panic clearly in her eyes. My mind immediately goes to the moment I found out Andrew was dead and my heart speeds up in panic before Delly even opens her mouth.

‘Katniss has been shot’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued!
> 
> This story will continue after a short break :) xx
> 
> (Hope everyone enjoyed :D Please let me know if you did! :) )


	8. Wounded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, chapter 8! :) Enjoy, all mistakes are mine.

**Peeta’s POV**

 

People always say that when you get unexpected news – especially bad –, it seems like the world stops spinning and everything around you disappears. Nothing matters anymore.

Nothing survives the explosion when a bomb like that is dropped. The only thing left in its destruction is you, even though you wish it would’ve taken you with it.

That was how it felt like when I heard my brother was dead and that’s exactly how I feel right now, because

_Katniss has been shot._

My heartbeat is so fast that I wouldn’t be surprised if it would stop working in a few seconds, but my brain is slow. Much slower. It still needs to process what Delly just said.

_Katniss has been shot._

‘My Katniss?’ I finally hear myself say, even though I don’t feel my lips move and the voice seems to come from somewhere else.  
A tear runs over Delly’s cheek. ‘Yes’ she whispers.

I feel my knees buckling, so I grab my bedpost so I won’t hit the floor. 

_She’s dead._

It’s written all over my sister’s face. _She’s gone. Katniss is dead._

I don’t know what to do or what to say. I feel my mind and body go numb, it can’t even produce tears. I even need to remind myself how to breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

I see Delly’s lips move, but I don’t register anything she says. All I can focus on is how to breathe, while images of Katniss go through my mind. She’s dead.

‘Peeta?’ Delly asks in a gentle tone. ‘Did you hear what I just said?’  
‘No’ I say and I take a deep breath to ready myself for the news I already know I’ll receive.  
‘She’s in a hospital in New Delhi’ Delly repeats. ‘They’re operating on her now’  
I suck in an involuntarily large breath. What? ‘She’s alive?’ I ask surprised.  
Delly nods.

 _Katniss is alive._ She’s still here, with me. A feeling of intense relieve, like I’ve never felt before, hits me like a wave. When my mind has wrapped around the current state of Katniss being alive, realisation of what I have to do now strikes me. ‘I have to go to her. Now!’ I say in a loud voice.  
Delly nods and I call for my maid.

My maid rushes in immediately and curtsies. ‘What can I do for you, Your Highness?’ she asks.  
‘I need you to pack my suitcases immediately, I’m going to India’ my voice is steady and strong.  
Hearing Katniss is alive has brought me back and gave me a mission.

‘No, you’re not’ my mother says in a resolute tone when she, along with my father, walks into my room.  
‘I am’ I say steadfast. ‘Katniss has be-‘  
My mother interrupts me with the words ‘Yes, she’s been shot. I know’  
‘Than you understand why I’m leaving right now’ I spat and I turn back to my maid. ‘What are you still doing here?! Go grab the suitcases!’ I yell.  
My mother stops her. ‘You’re not. Go back to what the prince has interrupted you from’

I’m astonished. _What?_ ‘Why the hell did you do that?’ I yell furiously when the maid has exited my bedroom.  
‘You can’t go to India, dear. You have obligations here’ my mother says.  
‘Obligations that can sure wait!’ I say and I ball up my fist in anger.  
‘I’m afraid not, dear. The King of Sweden is still dining with us this evening and tomorrow you’ll be the guest of honour at the annual fundraiser for the “Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital”. Do I need to remind you that you’re to give a speech there?’

 _Is she serious?_ I wait for a second to study her facial expression. ‘Are you serious?’ I ask stunned.  
‘Does it look like I’m joking?’ my mother asks annoyed.  
‘I don’t have time for this’ I calmly say and make my way to the door. _I’ll go get those suitcases myself._ Or even better yet, leave for the airport immediately.

But I don’t make it to the door. When I pass my mother, she grabs my arm and spins me around. ‘You. Are. Not. Leaving’ she calmly says, but her eyes are fuming.  
‘Watch me!’ I bite and I pull my arm from her grasp.  
‘How far exactly do you think you can get without my permission?’ she says in an arrogant tone. ‘Don’t forget that those are my planes and money and staff you’re using. Without me you have none of that to your disposal’

 _Fuck_. She’s right. None of it is mine, it all belongs to my parents. Without their consent, I can’t even reach the airport..

So, I turn to my father. ‘Dad?’ I desperately try.  
‘I’m sorry to say this son, but you can’t leave’ my father says in a soft tone. ‘You have responsibilities as the crown prince and you can’t abandon them’  
‘Especially not for _some_ girl’ my mother spits.  
‘Katniss is not just _some_ girl!’ I yell.  
‘No’ my mother agrees. ‘She’s the girl that slept with your _brother_ and the girl you were fighting with so badly, that you haven’t spoken with her in three years. That’s definitely not just _some_ girl, but not for the _right_ reasons’

My eyes are sending daggers to my mother. I don’t believe I’ve ever been so angry with someone. My fists are even shaking. _How does she even know that Andrew and Katniss slept together?_  
‘You know I’m right’ she says with a slight smile when I stay silent.  
‘It doesn’t matter-‘ I begin, but my mother interrupts me again.  
‘I will not let you drag our family’s reputation through the mud any longer!’ my mother yells. ‘You’ve brought us enough shame with all your parties, hookers and unintelligent comments to the press in the past. Do you know how the press and our people call you?!’ my mother rants. ‘Do you?!’ my mother demands when I don’t answer.  
I shake my head and I can feel the heat go to my cheeks.  
‘Prince Playboy!’ she yells. ‘Prince Pint! Prince Party! No one refers to you as Prince Peter! Do you have any idea how bad that looks on this family? Or on our country? I will not let you turn our family in a laughingstock for the entire world any longer! You’re hosting the King of Sweden tonight and you’re giving a speech tomorrow at the fundraiser even if it’s the last thing you’ll do!’

‘I don’t care about any of that! I need to-‘ I yell.  
‘No’ my dad says in a tone that is not to be trifled with. ‘If you were a commoner or even a prince you could afford to drop everything and go to the girl you love. However, you’re not. You’re the _crown_ prince. _Heir_ to the throne. You weren’t born with that burden, but you’ll have to carry it now’  
‘Dad, please..’ I beg my father. Desperation and panic fill every cell in my body.  
‘I know like no other what it’s like to be tied to duty, son. Unfortunately, in a life like mine and – due to circumstances – yours, our job comes first. Everything else comes second’

I can see in my father’s eyes he truly believes what he just said, even if it pains him that it’s the truth to him.

He won’t be any help to me, so I turn to my sister, who is still here. ‘Delly?’ I know I’m grasping at straws now and that there’s nothing she can do or say to change our parents’ minds, but I have to try.  
Delly looks as stunned as I am. The first time she opens her mouth, her attempt is futile. ‘You can’t-‘ she finally says, but my mom holds up her hand to stop her.  
‘Bite your tongue, Delilah, and go do something else. This is none of your concern’  
Delly closes her mouth and turns to me. ‘I’ll try to get some more information’ my sister promises me and she rushes out of the room.  
‘Get yourself ready for dinner, son’ my mother orders and she finds her way out.

She knows she won and that she’ll have her way, even if it breaks her son’s heart. Being a queen always comes first to her. Even being a good parent isn’t as important to her as her job is.

My father looks at me with remorse. ‘I’m sorry son..’ my dad says and in his eyes I can see his apology. ‘You’ll just have to wait.. Maybe you can go to her another time..’ he says, trying to sooth me.  
‘But there won’t be, will there?’ I ask pained. ‘Or at least anytime soon? Because the job will always come first’  
My father gives me a watery smile. ‘Spoken like a true king’

 

******

 

‘Katniss is still in surgery’ Delly informs me a half hour later. ‘She was shot in her abdomen and she bruised a couple of ribs. She’s going to be perfectly fine, Peeta’ Delly assures me with a small smile.

Relief washes over me and I need to close my eyes for a second because I finally feel like I can really breathe again. ‘Thank you, but I wish to be alone now’ I tell my sister when I open them again.

When the door closes behind a leaving Delly, I finally let myself break down. I hit the floor and let my tears fall. The tears I felt when I thought Katniss was dead and the angry tears I feel about the fact that being King will always mean that my life will never really be _mine_. Tears of relieve that Katniss is going to pull through fall last.

They all stain the 100 year old rug on my bedroom floor.

 

* * *

 

 

**Katniss POV**

 

When I wake up, my eyes open up to an unnatural whiteness. The lights are too white and the room is too. _Where am I?_

‘Honey?’ I hear someone in the room say.  
When my eyesight is less blurry, I find my dad sitting next to me.  
He carefully grabs my hand. ‘Katniss? Can you hear me?’  
‘Yes..’ I manage to say in a hoarse whisper. ‘What happened?’

My dad chokes on a sob before he answers. ‘You got shot..’ he squeezes my hand and two tears run over his cheeks.  
‘I got shot?’ I ask confused. I look at my surroundings. ‘Are we in a hospital? Where?’ I ask, now noticing the machines next to my bed and the unfamiliar furniture.  
My dad nods. ‘In New Delhi’

‘How did I get shot?’ I ask confused.  
‘What’s the last thing you remember?’ my dad asks me.

I scour my memory to give me a clue as to what has happened to me. ‘I remember riding to the mayor’s party with Thresh’ I answer my dad and I swallow to relieve my raspy throat ‘We were going to give a speech there..’ I trail off.  
‘Yes, you were giving a speech’ my dad confirms. ‘That’s when you got shot my some rebel.. Thom pushed you aside, but he was a second too late.. You caught the first bullet and he caught the second one’

‘Jesus!’ I yell startled and I start to cough. ‘Is he okay?’  
‘He’s fine..’ my dad assures me and he gives me a cup of water. ‘He got shot in his shoulder. They removed the bullet in surgery, he’s going to make a speedy recovery’  
_Thank God._ I could never forgive myself if someone had died because of me.

I eagerly drink the contents of the cup. ‘But why would someone shoot me?’ I ask with a mixture of confusion and panic in my voice.  
‘I’m afraid that someone didn’t like your feministic ideas, honey..’ my dad answers in a sad tone.  
I shake my head. _What’s wrong with people?_ How can you not agree that people should be equal to one another and than shoot you?!  
‘What about Thresh?’ I suddenly ask. ‘How’s he?’

‘He’s fine, he didn’t get shot. He’s terribly worried about you though. He comes by every day to check up on you’  
‘Wait..’ I say. ‘What day is it?’  
‘Sunday’  
‘When did I get shot?’  
‘Friday. They gave you so much drugs that you slept for over a day’  
‘When did you arrive?’  
‘Yesterday morning. Your mom, Prim and I hopped on the plane immediately after we got the news’

‘Prim and mom are here too?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Yes, your mom just went back to the hotel and Prim is getting some coffee in the cafeteria’  
I nod.  
‘She should be back any mo-‘ my dad says before Prim herself walks into the room.  
‘Katniss! You’re awake! Thank God!’ she rushes over to me and softly plants a kiss on my forehead, so she won’t hurt me, before she sits down on the side of where my dad sits.

The blazing pain in the left side of my abdomen lets me know where I got shot. Every time I move, even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit, a wave of pain goes through me. I’m glad my sweet sister is so cautious around me, because a hug would’ve killed me.

‘Hey Little Duck’ I greet her smiling. ‘How’ve you been?’  
‘How have I been?’ she spats unbelieving. ‘Horrible, of course. You got _shot_!’ and then she starts to cry.  
‘No, don’t cry Prim. I’m fine’ I quickly say. ‘I’ll admit that it hurts like hell, but I’m fine’  
‘I- I was sooo afraiiid..’ she sobs.  
‘I’m sorry..’ I say and seeing her in so much distress makes me cry as well.  
Soon my father joins us and the three of us all cry together for a moment.

An hour later my dad and sister go back to the hotel, but when my dad uses the loo, I use that moment to ask my sister a question that has been plaguing me since I learned I got shot.

‘Is Peeta here?’ I ask.  
My sister can’t look me in my eyes when she answers. ‘No, he’s back home..’  
‘Oh..’ I say disappointed. ‘Do you know if he’s coming?’ I ask in a very hopeful tone, while looking at my intertwined hands.  
‘I don’t know..’ she whispers. ‘He’s really busy..’  
‘Too busy to visit his friend that has been shot?’ I ask, my trembling voice betraying my hurt.  
‘I don’t know, Katniss. I’m sorry’ she offers me in a sad tone.  
My dad comes back from the toilet, so I drop the subject.

‘Prim, let’s go. Your sister needs her rest’ our dad says before he turns to me. ‘We’ll see you tomorrow honey’  
I’m exhausted, even though I slept for over 35 hours. ‘Thanks for coming’ I say.  
They both give me a kiss before they leave and Prim gives me my mobile. ‘I charged it for you’ she says. ‘So you can make a phone call if you’d like..’ she says in a suggestive matter.  
‘Thank you’ I say and I give her a grateful smile. That sweet, considerate and smart sister of mine.

 

******

 

I toss and turn for the following hours. I just can’t fall asleep. When I turned op my phone, I had no missed texts or calls from Peeta. _Why isn’t he here? Why hasn’t he reached out to me yet? Is something wrong with him? Is there something wrong between us? Have I misread us sleeping together? Does it have something to do with Glimmer?_ Those thoughts and a million more keep me wide awake and make me go crazy.

 _Maybe he hasn’t called me or texted me yet because he’s on his way to me._ That explanation relaxes me and even turns my lips into a smile.

Sleep is still nowhere to be found, even when it’s already 1 am, so I turn on the telly in my room. I quickly find BBC1 and they are broadcasting a segment about the British royals.

_‘Today Prince Peter was the guest of honour at the annual fundraiser for the “Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital” where he gave a touching speech about how valuable children’s lives are and how valuable the work of the Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital is. With him he brought Glimmer Fielton, the heiress to the famous hotel chain that wears the same name’_

_What?_ He went to a gala instead of to me? And he brought Glimmer as his date? _How could he do that?_

The BBC shows me images of Peeta and Glimmer arriving together at the fundraiser. His hand is on her lower back while they walk towards the entrance of the hospital. The next image is of the applause Peeta gets when he has finished his speech and then he walks back to his seat. Glimmer, who’s sitting in the seat next to his, kisses him on his cheek. He turns to her and hives her a handsome smile.

 _So, it’s true then._ They’re back together. Big fat tears fill my eyes. I didn’t want to believe it when I saw those headlines of the two of them in those tacky tabloid magazines when they were on the countryside tour. _Together_. Also a surprise to me.

So that’s why Peeta isn’t here. He’s too busy fucking his new girlfriend. Tears run freely down my face and sobs escape my mouth.

He’s in love with you, Delly had said at the masquerade ball. Well she was either the best wingwoman a brother could wish for or she was just a fucking liar!

And Peeta was just an asshole. Using the feelings I have – had – for him to get laid. Yes, I was the one who crawled in his lap and kissed him, but he could’ve – should’ve – stopped me. _Asshole!_

I’m crying so hard, that my whole body is trembling. My shaking body makes my wound hurt even more, so I calm myself down.

I’m wiping my wet cheeks off, when my eyes land on my mobile. Here I am, pathetic old me, waiting for a call or text from Peeta that’s not going to come. What’s even worse is that I’m crying over him, _again_ , like some stupid, cliché girl.

That’s not me, though. _He’s not worth your tears._ I could accept him not reciprocating my feelings, but being a terrible friend I cannot. I’ve been in the hospital for more than 2 days and he can’t even call me? I grab my cell from the table next to me and in all of my anger, I hurl it into the wall.

It lands in multiple pieces on the floor. _Good_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was worth the wait! :)  
> Yes, this chapter was quite dramatic - as will the following be, I'm afraid. 
> 
> I hope you'll share your thoughts and feels with me :) xx


	9. Terrible Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And 'The Royals' continues ;) All mistakes are mine, I hope you enjoy! :-*

**Peeta’s POV**

 

The head of our security, Mr. Boggs, and I are as thick as thieves at the moment. He’s the man that keeps me informed on Katniss.

I have no idea how he knows what happens in a hospital on the other side of the world and I don’t really care, but I guess it has something to do with having connections in the security business all over the world.  
I appreciated Delly her excellent googling skills, but she can’t inform me the way Boggs can. Not that my sister is home at the moment, she’s back at Manchester University for her classes.

I’m terribly exhausted after the fundraiser. The nerves before the speech and the endless socializing have worn me down. I was incredibly honoured to be there – the work they do there is very inspiring and important, but I was constantly worrying about Katniss and Glimmer would just _not_ leave my side, which was terribly annoying..

I’m so glad to be back in my room, where my bed has been waiting for me all day. It’s only ten o’clock but I’m calling it a day. I’m about to send Katniss a text asking her to call me when she can and wish her sweet dreams when I get a Facetime request from my sister.

‘Hey Peet, how are you?’ Delly asks when I accept the call.  
I sigh. ‘Exhausted’  
‘How was the fundraiser?’  
‘It was good. They do such amazing work, Delly, it’s amazing’  
‘I'll believe that!’ she says smiling. ‘I saw a part of your speech on the BBC, they already broadcasted it. It sounded great though. You wrote it yourself, didn’t you?’ she asks smiling.  
‘Yes’ I say surprised. ‘How did you know?’  
‘Because it sounded unrehearsed and like _you_. Caring, clever and genuine. It was great Peeta!’ she says proudly.  
‘Thanks Del’  
Her smile turn into a frown. ‘But why _on earth_ did you bring Glimmer?’ my sister asks disbelieving and she looks a little disgusted.  
I let out a tortured sigh. ‘Oh God, it was terrible Del. You know she’s mother’s lady-in-waiting, so she had to go too and she acted like it was a date. It was horrible! She wouldn’t leave my side, she acted like a piece of gum on someone’s shoe..’ I whine.  
Delly laughs. ‘My poor brother’ she says, but I know she doesn’t really mean it because of how much she loves seeing me uncomfortable. ‘I saw she kissed you too!’  
‘Please don’t remind me ever again’ I beg. ‘How are things in Manchester? Glad your back at school?’  
Delly acts like she needs to think about that for a second. ‘Let’s see. No mother, no annoying princess duties, interesting classes and college boys’ she laughs. ‘Yeah, I can’t _wait_ to get home..’ she says sarcastically and I laugh too.

‘Does that mean you’ve met a college boy you’re going to take home?’ I ask and I wiggle my eyebrows in a suggestive matter. Delly has never had a boyfriend, or at least, she never introduced one to her family. Not even to me.  
‘Introduce someone to _mother_? Are you out of your mind?’ she says grinning. ‘You know what my plan is. Meet someone, fall in love and bring him over when we’re already married’  
I chuckle. ‘I always liked that plan. I’m going to use it too’  
‘I don’t think you can anymore, brother. You’re now the crown prince. If you and Katniss will get married, it will be in a ridiculous big wedding broadcasted over the entire world’

I feel my cheeks heat up immensely. ‘Marry Katniss?’ I ask. I can see my red cheeks in the reflection of my phone. ‘Where did you get that idea?’  
Delly laughs at me for a whole 5 minutes. ‘Because I can see the future, that’s why’ she says jokes and she wipes a tear from her cheek. ‘How is Katniss doing by the way? Have you heard anything from her yet?’  
‘No’ I sigh. The good mood I just had, vanishes. ‘Boggs told me that the doctors gave Katniss some drugs so she’ll sleep through the day. Then she’ll be in less pain when she wakes up’  
‘And you don’t know if she has woken up yet?’  
‘No, but she’s bound to be asleep now. You know, the five hour time difference and all.. And mother is keeping me so busy that I didn’t even have the time to send Katniss a _text_.. I’ll text and call her tomorrow though’  
‘Yes or call her sister’ Delly advises me. ‘Prim most know more than Boggs does’

 _Why haven’t I thought of that?!_ If Katniss is still unreachable in the morning, I’ll make Boggs find out what Prim’s number is and I’ll just call her instead. ‘Yes, thank you Del! See, this is why you’re studying at MU, because you’re just as clever as the devil’  
Delly laughs. ‘Glad I could help out. And don’t worry, I’m sure Katniss will be in your arms in no time’ she winks at me.  
I chuckle. ‘Well, I hope so’ I admit.  
‘Tell her hi from me’ Delly says before we end our call.

 

* * *

 

 

**Katniss’ POV**

 

The next day my family comes to visit me as soon as they are allowed to. My mom is so happy that I’m awake that she can’t keep her hands or her tears to herself. It’s sweet, really, but after the anger and the heartbreak I endured yesterday – and obviously still feel – and the crappy night I had, I’m too exhausted to be good company.  
I feel terrible for asking, because they came all the way from England for me, but I politely ask my family after an hour or so if they can leave so I can sleep.

‘Have you heard anything yet from Peeta?’ Prim whispers when my parents are exiting the room.  
‘No’ I shake my head. ‘I don’t want to talk with or about Peeta Mellark’ I say stubbornly.  
She looks confused, but she doesn’t press on. ‘I’ll speak with you soon Katniss’ she kisses my forehead. ‘Sweet dreams’

 

******

 

After a few hours of sleep, I wake up to Madge sitting next to me.  
‘Hey Aurora’ she says smiling.  
‘Aurora?’ I ask confused.  
‘Sleeping Beauty’s name’ she explains.  
‘Ooh..’ I say.

‘How are you feeling?’ she asks me.  
_Hurt, angry, heartbroken_. ‘Fine’ I say. ‘Just a little sore and a little tired after a bad night’  
‘What did Peeta say?’ she asks me, assuming we talked.  
‘Nothing’ I say, in a bitter tone.  
‘What?’ Madge asks surprised. ‘What do you mean by _nothing_?’  
‘That he hasn’t called or texted’ I answer and even I can hear my voice breaking at the end.

‘Why not?’ Madge demands, obviously angry by the new information.  
‘Apparently he’s too busy with his new girlfriend’ I answer.  
Madge turns red with rage ‘What new girlfriend?! I thought you were his new girlfriend?!’ she yells pointing at me.  
‘Well, I never was and now I certainly never will be. It’s Glimmer’  
‘Glimmer?!’ Madge yells and a nurse rushes into my room with the request if we can keep it down.

‘Yes’ I say when we’re alone again. ‘I saw it yesterday on the BBC news. She was his date to a fundraiser and they were all touchy feely’ I say, first with sadness, then followed by disgust.  
‘Are you sure?’ she asks surprised.  
‘Yes’ I answer annoyed. ‘I know what I saw and it also explains why she was with him on his PR tour and why he hasn’t called me or anything..’  
Madge is radiating her anger through the room. ‘That son of a bitch! I could kill him..’

I start to cry uncontrollably. ‘I- I- I can’t believe it..’ I stammer between my sobs. ‘I really beliiieeeved we would get together when I got back from India’  
‘I’m so sorry Katniss..’ Madge says in a soft tone and she strokes my back soothingly.

We sit like that for a long moment, me crying and Madge just being a true friend and being there for me. She’s also the only one I told about that night after the masquerade ball, so I can only really talk about my feelings with her. Not that it’s a habit of mine to discuss my deepest feelings – especially not the ones I have for Peeta – to anyone, but I’m so badly hurt that I can’t keep my tears to myself.

When my tears have finally dried, I say ‘I can’t wait to leave this place’ I hate hospitals and being in bed all day.  
‘Yes, we’ll leave India as soon as we can’ Madge says, misunderstanding me.  
‘What?’ I ask confused. ‘I meant this hospital, not India’  
‘You want to stay?’ she asks surprised. ‘Even after you’ve been _shot_?’  
‘ _Especially_ since I’ve been shot. This just shows how much work we still have to do here for women’s rights. We can’t give up now or leave Thresh and Mr. Gupta’

Madge is dumbfounded and just looks at me like she’s waiting for the punchline.  
‘I’m serious’ I say.  
‘You want to stay?’ she asks astonished. ‘But it’s not safe!’  
‘I know, but that also means it’s not safe for the millions of women and girls that live here. I can’t abandon them. And when was our job ever safe? It sure as hell wasn’t in Africa, fighting those poachers’  
‘But we didn’t get _shot_ there while giving a speech. We didn’t get shot _at all_ ’ she says, pointing out the obvious.  
‘No, but still-‘ I begin, but Madge cuts me off.  
‘Are you crazy?' Madge looks at me like I am and then her face turns into a scowl. 'Wait, is this about Peeta?’  
‘No!’ I yell a little offended. ‘I’ll admit that going back to England where there’s the chance I’ll run into him, is the last thing on earth I want to do, but it’s also about fulfilling our promises to ‘We Are One and The Same’ and helping the girls who need us’

Madge still wears a disbelieving look. ‘Mr. Gupta is willing to release us from our contracts, seeing the circumstances’  
‘I’m not quitting. You can leave if you want to, I’d understand’  
Madge furiously shakes her head. ‘No, we’re a team. I’m not leaving you, especially not here, all alone’  
I smile gratefully at my friend. ‘Are you sure?’  
‘Absolutely’ she says bravely.

 

* * *

 

 

My family wasn’t pleased at all when I informed them of my decision to stay.  
‘Are you insane?’ my dad had yelled.  
‘Father calm down before the nurses throw you out’ I said.  
‘I will disown you if you don’t come home to England with us immediately!’ he yelled, ignoring my request to keep it down.  
‘Really?’ I said, unimpressed. We both knew he didn’t mean it.  
Prim chuckled, because she also knew that my dad was yelling nonsense now.

‘What are you laughing about?!’ my dad yelled at Prim and he paced through my hospital room.  
My mom started to cry and she begged me to come home with them.  
I sighed and gave the same reasons I gave Madge for wanting to stay (except the Peeta related one, of course) and told them that since I was 22, there wasn’t much they could do.

My father didn’t appreciate that comment and yelled that he would cut me off. Prim couldn’t keep her chuckling for herself, again.  
‘Dad I promise I will return when my contract has ended and I’ll be more careful. I’ll hire two bodyguards from now on’ I tried.  
My father let out a big sigh and his anger turned into fear. ‘Can’t you see that we’re afraid what will happen to you here?’ he asked me and then he pointed to my mom. ‘Look at what you’re doing to your mother!’ he accused me of.  
‘Can’t you see the good things I’m doing here?’ I asked upset, angry by the emotional blackmail my dad tried using on me. ‘And there’s nothing for me to do in England!’  
My dad wanted to object that, but I continued. ‘And you can’t keep me at home forever. Eventually I’d leave again to help a different cause. This is my life, dad. I chose it with my eyes wide open. I know the risks, but that’s not going to stop me!’

The three of them looked at me for a second.  
‘And I’m sure as hell not going to let _you_ stop me’ I finish with a determined look in my eyes.  
My father sighed and in his eyes I could see him relenting. ‘Why couldn’t you just be a boring student, like Prim?’ he complained.  
Prim scowled at our father. ‘I’ll ignore that because of the circumstances’ Prim said offended.  
My parents both ignored her. ‘We just don’t want to lose you’ my mom said.  
‘I don’t want to leave you either and I can’t promise you I won’t, but I can promise you I’ll try being even more careful’ I said with a slight smile. ‘I love my job. This is who I am’

‘And we’re very proud of you’ Prim said with a warm smile. ‘I wish you’d come home with us, but I know I can’t change your mind, so just be safe okay?’ I could see her well up.  
‘I will’  
‘Promise me that this isn’t the last time I’ll see you’ Prim begged and she started to cry.  
‘I promise’ I said, tears escaping me as well. ‘I love you’ I grabbed both of her hands in means of a hug because hugs still hurt too much.

My parents relented after Prim her blessing. They knew there was nothing they could do to drag me back to England. They obviously still didn’t agree with my decision and they didn’t try to cover up their true feelings, but my dad had stopped yelling at me and my mom had stopped crying.

That’s when Prim’s phone started ringing. ‘Great’ she said sarcastically. ‘”Anonymous” is calling me again’ she sounded annoyed.  
‘Don’t pick up!’ my dad yelled and he grabbed Prim’s phone and ended the call. ‘Under no circumstances are you allowed to pick up an unknown number Primrose. Not after your sister got shot by some unknown rebel that could still be trying to finish his job or go after you! You’re getting a new phone!’ he said fiercely.

I never was a person that was afraid or panics quickly, but now that I was lying in the hospital because someone tried to kill me, I noticed that I was more nervous.  
I always felt invincible, but now the universe had proved to me that I’m just as human as everyone else. I can die just like anyone else, that could actually happen, Mother Nature isn’t going to bend the rules for me.  
So, when Prim gets calls from an unknown number, I get scared. What if it’s the killer? What if he’s going after Prim? What if she’s unsafe as well?

My dad feels the same way I do, because he breaks the SIM card and throws away the phone. I won’t let my family see my fear – if I’m brave, they’ll be too. I calmly tell them that we’re all getting new phones and that the three of them are getting security details while they’re in India.

This whole “anonymous phone call thing” is reason for my father to start again with his pleads to come home and his threats to cut me off, but I calmly ignore him and when he has exhausted himself, I tell my family again I want to help end Mr. Gupta’s battle.

 

* * *

 

 

Thresh stopped by for a visit almost every day. The first time he visited he gave me a bouquet of sunflowers and after that he brought me a snack every time. We amused ourselves with playing some card games and getting to know each other better. I really appreciated his kindness, because after my family left, I only knew Madge and Mr. Gupta in India and I was bored out of my mind in that hospital bed.

*

Mr. Gupta was overjoyed when I told him about Madge and my decision to stay. We agreed that he would hire security detail for the both of us from now on. Two bodyguards for me and two for Madge.

*

I send Thom home. I felt guilty about endangering Thom’s life, even though we hired him to protect me and he knew what he got paid to do. The guy had saved my life and had caught a bullet in doing so, so I wanted him to go back to England so he could recover and spend some time with his family. He objected at first, he thought I was firing him, but I promised him he would get two months’ worth of pay as a bonus and assured him that when I was back in England, I would rehire him.

*

My new bodyguards, Mr. Balay and Ms. Leeg, told me that I couldn’t use my old phone anymore, for safety reasons. It was far too easy to track down the number of my mobile and to track down the phone’s location. I told them that not using my mobile wouldn’t be a problem, but I didn’t tell them why.  
They handed me a phone that didn’t have a number, but a code. The caller idea was anonymous, untraceable and could only be reached if I had contacted them before.  
No one could call or text me unless I’d used this mobile to call or text them.

‘We do advise you to text us now, so we can reach you in the future, if necessary’ Ms. Leeg said. ‘But you are in charge of how reachable you want to be, although I hope you agree with us that you won’t share your code with everyone’

A code. My mobile didn’t have a number, it had a code. Because someone tried to assassinate me. I could’ve been dead right now. No wonder my parents were so against me staying here and why Madge wanted to leave. _  
Someone tried to kill you and he didn’t even care._

Relief about still being alive, panic about almost being killed and heartache over Peeta all brought me to the brink of tears, but I stubbornly held them in and answered Ms. Leeg’s question. ‘No, I will make sure only a handful of people are able to reach me. You will be two of them’ I promised them.

That seemed a little over exaggerated to me, but I understood they were just doing their jobs and I did appreciate that immensely.  
I knew exactly who would get this code and exactly who _wouldn’t_. ‘Of course. From the top of my head: my parents, sister, Madge Undersee, Thresh Mehra and Mr. Gupta’ I listed.

I have no desire for Peeta to be able to reach me and I also made this very clear to Madge and Prim. Madge, knowing the full story, completely understood, but Prim was confused.

‘I thought the two of you were friends again?’ Prim asked.  
‘I thought so too’ I said with a scowl. ‘But here I am, in a hospital because someone tried to kill me, and where is he? Not here’  
‘Well maybe he has a good reason’ my sweet naïve sister said.  
‘Yes and it’s his new girlfriend’ I said with anger in my voice.  
‘How do-‘ Prim began, but I cut her off.  
‘Prim, please’ I begged ‘I don’t want to talk about or with Peeta’ something in my voice and in my eyes made her listen to me. She could see how hurt I was.

 

* * *

 

 

A few weeks later almost everything was normal again. I still wasn’t back to working yet, but I was back in the apartment with Madge, but now with 2 bodyguards at all times, instead of only Thom. I had a new phone where only 8 people in the world could reach me on. Peeta still wasn’t one of them.

Thinking about Peeta always made me miserable. I didn’t follow him on social media anymore or even the news from back home, afraid I would see something about him. Or worse, him together with Glimmer.

It's after the sixth time Madge finds me crying in my bed with my cheeks covered in chocolate ice cream, that she holds a little intervention.

‘Okay, that’s enough’ Madge says sternly when she sits down next to me on my bed. ‘Everyone gets their hearts broken one time or another in their lives and everyone gets stronger because of it. You need to snap out of this funk. Where’s the strong, stubborn, socially awkward, but inspiring woman I know you are?’  
‘She got shot and her heart broken’ I sob and I bring a spoon of ice cream to my mouth.  
Madge grabs my ice cream out of my hands and puts it on my floor. ‘I know it hurts Katniss, but a guy like that isn’t worth your tears. You’re an amazing person. Brave, loyal, caring and intelligent.. Not to mention totally pretty’ she winks good-naturedly at me. ‘Someone out there is going to see that too and love you for it, and there’s a big chance the guy waiting for you in our living room already sees it’

I look up at her in surprise. ‘What?! Who?!’ I ask a little sceptical.  
‘Why don’t you make yourself presentable and find out for yourself?’ she says with a playful smile. Madge gets up from my bed and says ‘I’ll keep him company for you while you clean yourself up’

When she closes the door behind her I go to my bathroom and check my reflection in the mirror. I look dreadful. I have ice cream all over my cheeks, my eyes are red and my hair is greasy.

I take a quick shower – noticing that my wounds were healing very well – , braid my hair and put on some clean clothes. Nothing fancy, just a black t-shirt and one of my harem trousers, but whoever is waiting for me in our living room, probably doesn’t expect me to come walking out of my room in one of my designer dresses and high heels.

I find out that my mystery guest is Thresh.

He gets up from the couch he was sitting in and greets me with a warm smile. ‘Katniss!’ he says excited when he sees me. His golden brown eyes take in my face. ‘How are you feeling?’  
‘Much better, thank you’ I say and I give him a polite smile. ‘Thanks again for the flowers you send me’ I say, referring to the bouquet of purple roses with blue hydrangeas that were waiting for me in the apartment when I got home from the hospital.

‘I’m glad you liked them’ Thresh says with a small smile.

We both stare at one another for a quiet moment and I secretly admire his handsome face. The intense look he gives me makes the blood go to my cheeks.

‘Would you like something to drink?’ Madge asks Thresh, and effectively breaks the bubble Thresh and I were just in.  
Thresh chuckles. ‘No thank you’ his eyes find mine again and he nervously scratches the back of his neck. ‘I- uh.. I was wondering if you two would like to join me for dinner? To celebrate that the Facebook page of ‘We Are One and The Same’ has over a million likes’  
‘What a great idea!’ Madge immediately says with a grin. ‘But unfortunately I have other plans for tonight’ she says feigning disappointed. I raise my eyebrows at her, since she didn’t mention those plans before. ‘but that shouldn’t stop the two of you. You should go together’ Madge continues. Her smile is back and she has a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Thresh looks back at me, unable to hide the nervousness in his voice when he speaks. ‘Only if you are up for it?’

I think about it for a second. I haven’t seen the outside of this apartment in too long, but on the other side, I don’t really feel like socializing right now. But Madge was right. A guy like Peeta doesn’t deserve my tears and I need to get out of my ‘funk’. So the question is, go out and have a lovely dinner with a friend or stay at home alone, dwelling in my misery over Peeta?

‘That sounds great’ I say and I give him a smile. I look at my comfortable outfit for a second. ‘Give me a minute to change’  
‘Why?’ Thresh asks. ‘You look wonderful’ he says and he winks at me.  
I laugh and I feel I’m blushing.  
‘Shall we?’ he asks and he gives me bright smile.

 

* * *

 

** Peeta's POV **

 

 

A few weeks have gone by after Katniss has been shot and I still haven’t received a single word from her.

My concern is now mixed with anger. _Why hasn’t Katniss retuned any of my calls of texts? Why hasn’t anyone else informed me of her well-being?_

I dial her number for the umpteenth time. Instead of Katniss her voicemail, I now get the message that the number is no longer in service or doesn’t exist. I get the same message when I dial Prim’s number.

 _What the hell?_ What’s going on?

I still wasn’t able to leave England and visit Katniss like I wanted and needed so badly. It seemed that mother was determined to keep me here by scheduling all sorts of appointments and commitments for me.  
The day after tomorrow my dad (and the kingdom) would celebrate that my father would be on the throne for 25 years. My family and I would tour through the country for a couple of days and at the end of the week celebrate with my parents' high-profile friends with dinner and a ball. It was going to be absolutely horrible, especially now since Katniss was badly hurt on the other side of the world and I was still in the dark about her health.

After a few days of hearing absolutely nothing from him on the subject, it seemed like Boggs finally has some news about Katniss for me, since he asks for an audience with me.

‘About time, Mr. Boggs’ I say annoyed. ‘I assume you have some news about Lady Katherine’  
‘I do Your Highness’ Mr. Boggs begins in a flat tone. ‘It took me longer than usual to gather the information because she has fired her previous bodyguard, the man that was kind enough to previously tell me how Lady Katherine was doing. I now had to contact her new security company, the same one of the Indian president, but there were some issues-‘

‘-For the love of God’ I interrupt him impatiently and annoyed. ‘Just tell me what you found out!’

‘It turns out Lady Katherine has a new high profile security detail and a phone that doesn’t have a number’  
_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ ‘Her _phone_ doesn’t have a _phone number_?!’ I yell, scowling at the poor man.  
‘No, it has a code. She’s unreachable, except for the people she has messaged herself’ Mr. Boggs answers.

 _Except for the people she has messaged herself._ And I couldn’t reach her, because she hadn’t texted or called me with that new phone, which meant that she didn’t want me to be able to reach her. But why not?

I was trying to figure out why Katniss deliberately kept me in the dark and cut me out her life, again, while Mr. Boggs continued with his story.

‘Lady Katherine has been out of the hospital for two weeks now and it seems like she’s doing all right, Your Highness. It also seems like she’s dating someone..’

_That explains why.._

I have never seen Mr. Boggs nervous in my life, but now, when he tells me Katniss is dating someone, I could clearly see a flash of nervousness come and go in his eyes.

‘What? That’s impossible!’ I yell. She can’t be dating someone. _Can she?_ ‘Who?’ I ask in a soft tone, even though I have a pretty good idea who.

‘Thresh Mehra’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter explains a few things and you can agree with them. If you don't or if you did liked the chapter, please let me know. :)
> 
> In the next chapter Katniss is back from India and she and Peeta run into each other at a royal event! :) Hope you're looking forward to it! :) xx


	10. The Polo Match

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a little later than usual, but at least it's a long one! :) This chapter is set 6 months after the last one.

**(6 months later)**

 

**Katniss’ POV**

 

‘I never in a million years thought I was going to a royal polo match in England’ Thresh says with an excited smile.

We’re in my room at Rosings’ getting ready. After 6 months of working in India I’m back in England and I’m glad to be home. I’ve travelled and lived all over the world and that was always amazing, but nothing beats England – my home.

Home means seeing my family again, taking long walks or going horse-riding on my family’s grounds and using my bow again. The only bad thing about being back home is the chance of running into people I don’t particularly want to see. Like Peeta, who I haven’t spoken to since I got shot, but who I would see again in an hour..

I laugh. ‘I never thought in a million years I would be able to enjoy myself at a royal polo match, but now that you’re going with me, I don’t have to be worried about that anymore’ I close the distance between us and I put my hands around his neck. ‘Seriously, they’re quite dull if you can't participate in the match’ I warn him laughingly. I pull his tick lips to mine and kiss him gently.

After I found out Glimmer and Peeta got back together, I was a mess. Peeta had broken my heart and as a result I had cut him out of my life – again. It was out of sheer self-protection. If Peeta couldn’t get to me, he couldn’t hurt me more. I didn’t need to hear from him that he got back together with Glimmer, how happy he was and how much in love with her he was. I might’ve been a horrible friend to him for doing that, but he hadn’t treated me better. He hadn’t texted or called that Saturday after I got shot, he got back together with his ex after we _slept_ together and he hadn’t bothered to visit me in the hospital.

But knowing all that hadn’t made it easier to live without him. I had missed him terribly, even more than those years after our row when we were 19, but that probably was because I was aware of my feelings for him now. Food all started to taste the same, I could barely focus on work and colours seemed to dull..

But luckily I had Madge and Thresh. She got me through it all and was the shoulder I could cry on. Thresh seemed to have the ability to make me forget my pain for a while. He made me laugh and we spend a lot of time together sightseeing, going to restaurants together and I even visited the set of his latest movie a couple of times.

But luckily I had Madge and Thresh. She got me through it all and was the shoulder I could cry on. Thresh seemed to have the ability to make me forget my pain for a while. He made me laugh and we spend a lot of time together sightseeing, going to restaurants together and I even visited the set of his latest movie a couple of times.

And then he kissed me. First I was surprised, because I hadn’t been expecting it at all, but while his lips gently touched mine, I realised it was a good surprise. Kissing Thresh gave me the hope that I could move on from Peeta, and that, like Madge had said, there was a guy out there who would see all of my best qualities and love my flaws. That guy could be Thresh.  
So, I kissed him back, went on dates with him and met his mother a couple of times.

Thresh deepens our kiss and when he releases my lips again, he chuckles. ‘You never have to worry about conquering boring situations alone again, my dear. That’s what that diamond ring on your finger means – that we’re going to be a team for the rest of our lives’  
‘I know’ I say smiling and I give him a peck.

Two weeks ago, Thresh asked me to marry him after four months of dating and I said yes. My contract at ‘We Are One And The Same’ had ended and I was planning on going back to England. We came at a crossroad in our relationship. We didn’t want to break up, but we also didn’t want to do the long distance thing if we both lived on the other sides of the world.  
Thresh told me that he loved me, that he didn’t want to let me go and that he saw a future for the two of us, a happy one. ‘I know we haven’t been together exceptionally long, but what we have is really great. I liked you from the moment I met you Katniss and I love you now. What we have together could last a lifetime and I’m sure it will’ Thresh had said. ‘We could get married in a couple of years, but why postpone that kind of happiness? Let’s get married now’

Again, Thresh had surprised me, butthat time not with a kiss, but with the proposition to spend the rest of our lives together. He had stunned me into silence. I never saw myself becoming someone’s wife and now someone asked me to. An image of Peeta went through my mind when I thought this, but I immediately banned him from my thoughts again. It was never going to happen with him. It could happen with Thresh. I liked him, he was an honourable man and kind and funny, but did I want to be his wife? If the last couple of months were an indication, Thresh was right about our future – it would be a happy one.  
My mind had went to Peeta again. Being close to Peeta made my heart do funny things, touching him had made me feel like I was on fire and smiling with him gave me butterflies. If I was perfectly honest, I didn’t feel that with Thresh, but that was a good thing. Being with Thresh felt safe and comfortable. He would never have the power to hurt me like Peeta could and had done. Getting married to Thresh would be a safe choice and one I was certain would make us both happy, so I said we could.

The next day Thresh took me out to dinner to celebrate, but he took the opportunity to ask me there officially, with a three carat diamond engagement ring. My answer was yes, he slid the ring on my finger with a huge smile and I haven’t taken it off since.

‘Are you finished getting dressed?’ I ask Thresh. ‘We don’t want to be late’

 

******

 

I hated polo matches. They were only fun if I could participate in one. Watching from the side lines made me restless and jealous. The royal ones were just boring. It meant socializing with the richest and most boring nobility of England or other people who were also dressed as peacocks. The men just wore something fancy in beige colours, but the woman were expected to wear very colourful dresses, high heels (something that always is a drama on a muddy ground) and a big hat.

But I especially hated this one. This would be the social outing for me and Thresh as an engaged couple, and even though I said yes, I still wasn’t ready to scream it from the rooftops. Thresh wanted to get married as soon as possible and every time he brought up the wedding, I said I didn’t know yet when we should have the ceremony and then I changed the subject.

There were other reasons as well I was dreading going to the polo match. The biggest reason was that I would see Peeta again and I was sure it was going to be very uncomfortable. He wasn’t only going to be there, he was also played in the polo match. The last time we fought this bad, we used public venues as a décor to insult one another to the bones. If that was any indication, we might get dragged away by family members again today..

There is only one reason I’m going to this horrible polo match and that is to raise money for ‘We Are One And The Same’. When I got the invitation, I told Thresh we weren’t going to attend, but he said it would be a good business opportunity for ‘WAOATS’ since almost everyone attending had a lot of money to spare. Money that could go to our cause.  
I couldn’t say no to that just because I wanted to keep avoiding Peeta, so I agreed with Thresh.

So that's what got me here. I’m dressed in a flowing, soft yellow sundress from my favourite designer Cinna, that goes to my knees and shows a little cleavage. It reminded me of soft candle light, so it’s not too bright and it compliments my skin tone. I refuse to wear a hat that could easily be a spaceship, so I’m wearing a hairpiece in my loose hair covered with tiny pearls and small sunflowers.  
Thresh is dressed very handsomely in a khaki trousers and with a white dress shirt with thin blue stripes.

‘I can’t believe I’m going to meet the Queen’ Thresh says with an excited twinkle in his golden brown eyes. ‘Is she a nice woman?’  
I make a face at him. ‘Not really.. I swear that woman cares more about what the nation thinks of her than how her own children feel about her’  
‘Are you serious?’ Thresh asks disbelieving. ‘But she always seems like such a kind and caring woman on the telly’  
‘She’s a great actress..’ I sigh.

‘What about the King and the prince and princess?’ Thresh continues. He really is curious and anxious about meeting them all.  
‘The King is a very kind man’ I answer and I contemplate what to say about his children. I thought Delly and I were friends, but apparently she was more of a wingwoman to her brother, than a friend to me. ‘Princess Delilah is.. well, she can be sweet if she wants to be..’ I’m not able to remove the bitter tone out of my voice completely, but if Thresh picks on about it, he doesn’t mention it.  
‘And the prince?’ Thresh asks.

The prince. How can I describe Peeta without sounding like a furious bitch or a broken hearted one-night stand? I never told Thresh a thing about Peeta or our shared history. I kept Thresh completely in the dark. Maybe not fair to do to your fiancé, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore and I didn’t want to upset Thresh.  
Besides, I’m not going to ask him about his exes or sexual history either.

I look out the window when I answer to avoid eye contact. ‘He’s nice, but we’re not really friends’ I decide to say in an unaffected voice. My insides are kicking and screaming out of anger, hurt and nerves about seeing him again, but I keep myself composed. I get annoyed with myself because of the fact that seeing Peeta again affects me so much. He made it really clear that he doesn’t care, so why would I?

 

******

 

It’s a nice day for a polo match. It’s sunny with a cloudless sky and there’s a small breeze. The ground isn’t very muddy, so walking in heels isn’t such a challenge and the two times my heel did get stuck in the mud, Thresh caught me and helped me free my shoe.

Half an hour later the match begins. The crowd claps when the teams enter the field and excitement fills the air. Everyone around me follows and cheers on the match like their lives depend on it. Thresh is a big polo fan, so he enjoys himself immensely.

I seem to be surrounded by thoughts of Peeta. I hear people mentioning Prince Peter multiple times in their conversations and my eyes keep following him like I’m magnetically pulled towards him. The harder I try to focus on the ball or on another player, the more difficult it is not to look at him, so after a while I just give up resisting my eyes.

It wasn’t hard to spot Peeta. The light blond curls sticking out of his cap can only be his. I let my eyes roam over his form while he sits on his horse. _He’s still as muscular and lithe as I remember from my dreams.._ His balance is exquisite and makes him a natural on a horse and that added with his strength, Peeta is one hell of a polo player. Almost as good as I am.. He scores 4 times and his team wins the match with 6-4.

‘Prince Peter is number 12 in the blue team’ I tell my fiancé, while pointing out Peeta when he gets off his horse when the game is over.

It’s like Peeta hears me saying his name, because he looks up and our eyes lock. There’s almost 40 yards between us and I’m surrounded by other people, so it would make sense if he didn’t even see me, but it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like we’re staring directly at one another from only a few feet away and like he can see into my soul. I dart my eyes to a different player and take a sip of the champagne I’m drinking.

We watch the players shake each other’s hands for a moment, before Thresh turns his gaze to me. ‘Time to get to work’ he says with a wink.  
I give him an absent smile, because my mind is still clouded by images of Peeta’s eyes, but I don’t think he notices. Thresh puts his hand on my lower back and guides me to one of the party tents that is filled with people enjoying an alcoholic beverage from the bar.

I scan the area for familiar faces when my eyes land on a woman dressed in a bright pink dress with an enormous hat in the same colour. Her husband, who’s standing next to her, has matched his white trousers with a soft pink shirt.  
‘That’s Lord and Lady Trinket, close friends of my parents’ I discreetly whisper to Thresh. ‘They’re really nice people and I wanted you to meet them eventually, so why not now?’ Thresh nods excitedly.

‘Lord and Lady Trinket, how wonderful that we run into one another here’ I say and I give them a warm smile.  
‘Our dearest Katniss!’ Lady Trinket exclaims smiling. ‘Wonderful indeed! We’re so happy to see you again! You gave us quite the fright when you got shot..’  
I feel myself tense and my smile wavers. I hate thinking and talking about that incident. I’m still afraid to go anywhere without Thom, now my bodyguard again, and I’m still plagued by nightmares about hooded figures who try to kill me. Sometimes the nightmares are so cruel that the hooded figure kill Prim, or my parents or Madge. I even dreamed twice that it was Peeta that got murdered in front of me.

Thresh strokes my back soothingly and brings me back to the here and now. ‘Yes, that was quite terrible..’ I mutter. ‘But I got through it with the help of my fiancé’ I say with a smile and I look up to Thresh for a second. ‘Lord and Lady Trinket may I introduce you to my fiancé, Mr. Thresh Mehra’ I say pointing at Thresh and then I look at him. ‘Thresh this is Lord and Lady Trinket, old family friends’ Thresh gives them a slight bow, like I told him was expected of him when he would meet nobility.

‘But not that old’ Lord Trinket jokes. ‘It’s very nice to meet you Mr. Mehra’  
‘How wonderful to finally meet your handsome fiancé. You’re mother told me you are engaged, the Lord and I are so thrilled’ Lady Trinket chirps.  
‘We’ll be sure to invite you’ Thresh says and he gives Lady Trinket a charming smile, what makes her blush a little.  
I stop myself from rolling my eyes over Lady Trinket's reaction. My fiancé can be so damn charming if he wants to be and right now he wants their financial support.

‘Lady Katherine and I actually met during our work for ‘We Are One And The Same’’ Thresh says. ‘It’s an organisation that helps better the lives of women in India by promoting equality. Have you heard of it?’  
‘I can’t say I have’ Lady Trinket says feigning interest.  
Again, I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I know my mother told her about the organisation I worked for, but the way she bats her eyelashes at Thresh, tells me she likes to stare and listen to him.  
Thresh tells them about the organisation and the work they do and about the fact that they depend largely on donations. Lord and Lady Trinket listen intently, ask a few questions and then promise us to make a donation.

‘That would be amazing!’ Thresh says smiling. ‘Your generosity would be so helpful and appreciated’ I nod.  
‘It would indeed’ I agree with a smile. ‘Thank you’

‘That went well’ Thresh says with a content smile.  
I slap his arm lightly. ‘Because they’re kind and good people, please remember that! Please don’t see all of my parents’ friends as a piggybank’  
He gives me a scowl. ‘Of course I don’t!’ he says offended. ‘But there’s no harm in telling them about the organisation. We can use the help of everyone who offers it. You may no longer work there, but I always will! Don’t you care about them anymore? The girls? The organisation?’ Thresh accuses me of.  
‘Of course I do!’ I hiss and I look around us to see if someone is watching our little quarrel. ‘I can’t believe you asked me that!’ I say offended.  
‘Well I can’t believe you thought I only see your friends as fat piggybanks I want to use!’ he hisses back.

‘Katniss!’ I hear someone behind me greet me.

Thresh and I turn to our interrupter and when I see it’s Johanna I smile. When I see that Delly is walking next to her, a cocktail of annoyance, anger and hurt makes its way to my stomach.

‘Good to see you’re still alive’ Johanna says with a grin.  
‘Hey Johanna’ I say and ignoring Delly.  
‘Lady Katherine’ Delly says with an icy tone and she turns her lips into a polite smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. No, her eyes display a very different emotion. _Anger_.  
I mimic her facial expression with little effort. ‘Your Highness’ I say and I give her a curtsy. ‘May I introduce my _fiancé_ , Mr. Thresh Mehra?’ I say, emphasizing the word fiancé. ‘Thresh these are Ms. Johanna Mason and Her Royal Highness Princess Delilah’  
‘It’s an honour to meet you both’ Thresh says with that same charming smile and he bows slightly at Delly.  
‘So, it’s true then’ Delly blurts out and in her light blue eyes I see her anger even more clearly when she looks me dead in my eyes. ‘That you’re engaged?!’  
I feel my face twitch into a slight scowl. ‘Yes’ I say curtly and I’m unable to hide the venom completely form my voice.  
Delly looks back at Thresh and gives him a bright, but fake smile. ‘Well, I wish you two all the luck in the world then. Goodbye’ she turns around and drags Johanna away with her.

‘What was that about?’ Thresh asks utterly confused.  
I bite my lip angrily. ‘I have no idea’

 

******

 

**Peeta’s POV**

 

‘Great match, Your Highness’ the stable boy says when I hand him my horse.  
‘Thank you’ I say smiling. I’m a little out of breath, because it was _indeed_ a great match.

I can feel someone’s eyes burn a hole in my back, so I look up to scan the crowd. A lot of people are looking and pointing at me, but that’s not unusual. People are always gawking at me and will do so for the rest of my life. First I was a prince, now I am the crown prince and in the future I’ll be the King of the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, and Head of the Commonwealth. So, no, people staring and pointing at me is nothing new, but yet I feel my body reacting to someone’s stare like I’m pulled towards that person like a magnet.

And then my eyes land on her. On Katniss.

It’s like seeing a ghost.

Locking my eyes with the girl I equally hate and love in the same intensity after almost 7 months of ignoring, feels so unreal and is so unexpected, that I stop in my movements. I figured that she’d be here, I _dreaded_ her being here. This will be the first time I see her since we slept together on my birthday, so it’s bound to be painful and awful.

The girl who cut me out of her life without a reason and then started dating someone else, can still make my heartbeat quicken and has me catch my breath. I scowl at her when she averts her gaze to look at something else. I’m angry at her for still affecting me like this after all the misery and anger she made me feel, but I’m also angry that she breaks our eye contact.

Finnick pats me on my shoulder and brings me back to the present, because that’s what Katniss is. The past. Our friendship, my feelings, my dreams about her – they’re all part of the past, not of the future. ‘Let’s get a drink’ Finnick says grinning.

I agree and we make our way to the bar. On our way over Delly joins us.

‘Have you seen who’s here?’ she whispers when she walks next to me.  
I know _exactly_ who she’s referring to, so I nod in response.  
‘I can’t believe she’s here. What on earth possessed her to come?’ Delly spits out angrily. I don’t have to look at my sister to know the icy look she has in her eyes.  
‘I don’t know’ I simply say. ‘And I also don’t care’ I add and I mean it. Katniss being here is not going to ruin my day. Or my mood. I’m going to prove to everyone that I’m better than her and show her that she doesn’t affect me in the slightest of ways.

‘Good, because you shouldn’t’ Delly says stern. ‘You shouldn’t care about her being here and you shouldn’t care for _her_. She doesn’t deserve your affection after everything she’s done’ she lectures me and she carefully looks at me.

That’s easier said than done, but doesn’t mean I’m not going to try. ‘I know’ I say and I give my sister an encouraging smile. ‘Now I’m going to get a drink and celebrate my victory’

 

******

 

After a few drinks, Cashmere and I sneak off to the stables.

Ever since Katniss decided to cut me out of her life, I’ve been spending more time with Cashmere. It benefits us both. Cashmere being seen and photographed with me makes her an it-girl and helps her career. In return she distracted me from my heartbreak with parties, sex and drugs, giving the press a lot to write about and bringing my nickname ‘Prince Party’ back from the dead.

I no longer have the heartbreak, but now that Katniss is back I can use some distracting again, so I dragged Cashmere to the stables for some privacy.

I tell Marcus, my security detail, that he can stay outside. ‘Do you have some on you?’ I ask Cashmere while discreetly looking around us to make sure we really are alone.  
She nods. ‘Of course, but are you sure it’s safe to smoke in a stable?’  
I shrug impatiently in response and feel relieved when she opens her purse and takes out a joint and a lighter. 

The following minutes we pass the joint between us and after a few minutes I can feel it’s effect. I’m careful not to smoke too much, because I don’t want people to notice I’m stoned, I just want to feel it’s hazy effect.

Cashmere looks up to me and the white of her eyeballs are completely red. _Good_ , that means it’s working. ‘I wish I was a seahorse’ she says after a couple of puffs.

Her comment makes me picture Cashmere’s head on the body of a seahorse. That image makes me laugh out loud and I can’t seem to stop. ‘You’d look ridiculous. I don’t think you could stay being a model then’  
Cashmere laughs. ‘Or maybe I would, because I would look fucking weird’ she says bluntly and I reward her with a laugh. ‘No, but seriously though, I wish I was a seahorse..’ and she gets a sad look in her eyes.  
‘Why?’  
‘Because then I wouldn’t have to be pregnant’  
I burst out in a fit of laughter that fills the entire stables and makes my body shake. _God, I love being high._ Cashmere can’t help but join me.

When I get a grip on myself again, I ask her why she doesn’t want to be pregnant.  
‘Are you serious? Because it’s awful. You’re whole body blows up and you get crazy’ her face that was displaying disgust, turns into a mischievous grin. ‘I think I’m crazy enough already’ she laughs.

Her eyes roam over my sweaty body that’s wrapped tightly in a polo shirt and riding pants and when she looks me in my eyes again, her pupils show me her hunger. ‘Joints always make me so horny..’ she whispers. It’s just a comment, but it’s clearly a hidden question. _Care to do anything about it?_

I decide that I do. It wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me not to help out a lady in distress. I smirk and grab her hand to lead us to the tack room where I can fuck her in private.

 

******

 

_Jesus I feel good._ I feel blissfully relaxed and happy, the divine effect a joint and a good orgasm has on you.

Cashmere and I joke discreetly about all of the ridiculous hats the older woman are wearing. Lady Trinket wears a hat that looks like an exploded flamingo and we just saw someone wearing a hat that resembles a fruit basket.  
After that we play with our finger food which is hilarious and makes us burst out into a fit of snickers multiple times.

No one needs to know I’m high, so I act normal and friendly when someone comes up to me for a chat. These royal events my mother throws are always a pain, but Cashmere has learned me that when you’re high, it’s a lot more enjoyable.  
The more times I’m under influence, the easier it gets to hide my state. _Practice makes perfect._

Cashmere puts her hand on my bicep and leans in. ‘Look there’s Glimmer. Her hat isn’t so bad..’ Cashmere whispers as she carefully points out my mother’s lady-in-waiting.  
I chuckle. ‘Are you kidding?’ I ask disbelieving. ‘Her hat looks like a disco ball with fabric..’  
Cashmere giggles. ‘Yes you’re right. If we weren’t wearing our sunglasses, her hat could blind us’  
We see Glimmer searching her surroundings and when her eyes lock on me, her lips turn into a ‘seductive’ smile. ‘Fuck’ I mutter. ‘She’s coming towards us. Towards _me_..’ the desperation is evident in my voice.  
‘Don’t worry’ Cashmere says and when I look back at her, she presses her lips on mine. Her tongue slips into my mouth and strokes mine. Then she ends our kiss again.

I look up to look for Glimmer, but I notice she has disappeared. ‘Thanks’ I say smiling.  
‘Don’t mention it’ Cashmere replies. ‘It was for a pure selfish reason – I’m not so fond of her either’ she winks at me. ‘Let’s get another drink’

We’re ten yards away from our destination when Cashmere elbows me. ‘Look it’s Katniss!’ she says excitedly.

I stop dead in my tracks. My heartbeat quickens and I feel a cold sweat break out. I really don’t want to see Katiss, let alone _speak_ with her. 

Cashmere, oblivious to my reaction and unknowing about Katniss and my current relationship, calls Katniss’ name loudly.

_Fuck_.

A lot of people turn around to see who the woman with the bad manners is and then their eyes land on the person next to Cashmere. Me.

One of those people is Katniss herself. Cashmere drags me to Katniss and the guy she’s with – I recognise him as Thresh Mehra, the boyfriend – before I can do or say anything to stop her. Katniss’ eyes bore into mine and it feels like I get struck by lightning. I’m so startled about being near Katniss again, that I lose the power to resist Cashmere’s pulling.

When Cashmere and I stop in front of them, I let my eyes roam over Katniss her body. She looks stunning in her soft yellow dress and with her hair loose. I secretly admire her legs and the sexy cleavage the dress makes her have. It’s not like she can see my eyes wander through my sunglasses anyway.

She looks uncomfortable. _Good, because you should._ Her body is tense and she leans into Thresh. Her lips are turned into a polite smile, but her eyes are cold. _Just like she is on the inside._  
Her silver eyes never leave Cashmere, not for a second, not even when she introduces Thresh to us. Then I hear her use the word _fiancé_ and I notice the diamond ring on her left ring finger.

_Katniss is engaged._

_And not to me._

The news hits me like a ton of bricks and I’m surprised my body doesn’t start to shake. Cashmere squeals excitedly next to me and claps her hands.  
I, on the other hand, feel the food I ate come up and for a moment I’m afraid that I’m going to vomit all over Katniss’ designer shoes. _She’s engaged._

I can feel my heart start to break in my chest, but then I get angry with myself. _Why do I care so much?_ Why would I even care _at all_? Katniss has done nothing to deserve the pain in my heart! I’m not allowing myself to feel this pain, so I give Katniss and her fiancé (I almost lose my calm demeanour when I think of Thresh like that) my million dollar smile and put my hand on Cashmere’s lower back.

Time to show Katniss that I’m the bigger person and how unaffected I am by her news.  
‘Congratulations!’ I hear myself say enthusiastically. ‘What brilliant news! When is the wedding?’  
Katniss shifts her eyes nervously between me and Cashmere before she replies. ‘We haven’t decided yet if we want a summer wedding or a fall one’ Katniss answers, smiling at Cashmere again.

‘But I’m hoping for a summer one’ Thresh putts his arm around Katniss’ waist and gives her an adoring look. ‘The sooner I can call this amazing woman my wife, the happier I’ll be’ he gives Katniss (I’m not able to call her _his fiancé_ ) a bright smile, one she mirrors, and then they turn back to Cashmere and me.

_A summer wedding._ Then they would be wed in the next month. I get an irrational and unexplainable desire to punch something.

I let out a forced, but cheerful, laugh. ‘That’s great. I wish you both the best in this new adventure’ I look directly at Katniss when I speak. She wears a constrained smile. ‘And of course an amazing wedding’  
‘Thank you so much Your Highness’ Thresh says smiling sincere and he babbles on what an honour it is to meet me.

‘The honour is all mine’ I say and I give Thresh an easy smile. ‘The work you’ve done for ‘We Are One And The Same’ is truly honourable. There should be more men that share your norms and values’  
Thresh looks positively surprised by my praise. ‘Thank you, Your Highness’  
Katniss looks me dead in my eyes and gives me a graceful smile. ‘Indeed they should’

We stare at one another for a second, daring the other to break our cold, but civilised demeanour and make a scene.

Cashmere congratulates them again, before she excuses us, while Katniss and I are in our staring contest.

Instead of going to the bar, like Cashmere and I intended on doing, I tell her we’re going home. Mother will be angry that I left so early, but I’m over this event and it’s time to throw a party for two in my bedroom.

In the ride to the palace I congratulate myself on a very convincing performance. If Thresh could act like I just did, he could’ve won an Oscar by now.

Cashmere and I spend the rest of the car ride smoking a joint again and shamelessly enjoying its effect.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to hear your thoughts and feels! :D 
> 
> In the next chapter there will be a lot of confrontations.. A lot..
> 
> I recently started a two-part story called 'The Sex Dream', it would mean a lt if checked it out an please let me know what you thought :)


	11. Fashion Week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy :) My apologies if there are mistakes!

**Katniss’ POV**

 

I couldn’t stop my tears from rolling down when I was under the shower the next morning.

I had hoped that Peeta would react differently to the news of my engagement. If he had lashed out by making a horrible remark or would’ve shown some type of anger or jealousy in a different way, I finally would’ve known that he cared. Instead he smiled, laughed even, congratulated us and complimented Thresh on his work for ‘WAOATS’. He really didn’t care that I was getting married. I had always suspected that he didn’t love me like I loved him and I now I finally knew for certain.

That certainty could make me let him go. I could finally move on from him.

I was going to marry Thresh, a strong and amazing guy and live a happy life with him! I promised myself these were the last tears I was ever going to shed about someone who didn’t return my feelings.

Thresh was out with my father when I arrived downstairs for breakfast. They were walking the grounds, as Prim told me.

I nodded in response, careful not to make eye contact with my sister while I buttered my toast. My eyes were probably still red from the tears I had shed in the shower.

‘Katniss..?’ Prim asks me quietly after a moment of silence. Her tone tells me that she desperately wants to ask me something, but that she doesn’t know how.

My sister is one of the few persons in the world who should never be afraid to ask me something so I try to encourage her. ‘Yes?’ I ask, giving her a smile, but it’s a sad attempt to one.

She tightens her grip on her rosy tea cup. ‘Thresh is a great guy, he really is..’ she starts tentatively. ‘He’s a good person and father and mother really like him, but are you sure you want to marry him?’ Prim looks up to me and I drop my eyes to the food I’m playing with.  
‘Why wouldn’t I want to marry him?’ I ask quietly.  
‘Katniss!’ she hisses. ‘Because you’re in love with someone else, that’s why’ she whispers fiercely.

I’m busy denying it, but my sister interrupts me.  
‘Don’t lie Katniss..’ she says disappointed, but then her facial expression softens. ‘I love you and I want you to be happy. _Really_ happy. And I know marrying someone you’re not in love with, won’t do that for you..’  
‘He’s a great guy..’ I mutter and I feel a single tear escape me.  
She nods. ‘He really is, but he’s not Peeta’  
‘No’ I say. ‘And that’s a good thing’

Now Prim is busy denying it and I am the interrupter. ‘He can never hurt me like Peeta did’  
She gives me an impatient look. ‘But you’ll never love him like you love Peeta’ she counters.  
‘Exactly’ I whisper and I feel my lower lip quiver and I stuff my mouth with bacon.  
‘What happened between the two of you?’ Prim blurts out.  
I give her a scowl. ‘You were there! Someone tried to kill me and he didn’t care!’  
‘You don’t know that..’ she says in a soft tone.  
‘Of course I do! Peeta didn’t call, he didn’t come and he started dating _Glimmer_ ’

‘I just don’t believe it!’ Prim says sounding desperate and she slams her fists on the table. _Wow, this must have been eaten her alive for a long time._  
‘He looks at you like you hung the moon.. There must be an explanation as to why he didn’t come. And he hasn’t been seen with Glimmer after that fundraiser, so they couldn’t have been dating..’  
I look up in surprise. ‘Really?’ I ask in a small voice, sounding very hopeful, but then I shake my head. ‘It doesn’t matter. I’m engaged to Thresh now and he’s with Cashmere Smith’ my voice sounding a bit bitter and I go back to toying with my scrambled eggs.  
‘Katniss, please..’ Prim begs me. ‘Please just ask him why he didn’t come..’  
When I don’t answer she adds ‘You have nothing to lose..’

I disagree with her. ‘I do!’ I say scowling. ‘I could lose the small part of my heart that’s still intact! Not to mention, I could lose my fiancé’  
Prim just looks at me. ‘All I’m saying is that you might not know the whole story and you deserve to get an explanation. You could get closure..’

 _Closure_. The word echoes through my mind and it sounds so good.

Prim’s right, I deserve to get an explanation. I need to hear him say he doesn’t love me. If I hear him say it, I can get the closure I crave and then I can finally start to fully live my life. With Thresh.

I nod hastily. ‘Yes..’ I mumble. ‘I’m going to talk to Peeta. Now’ I look to my sister as I get out of my chair. ‘Can you give Thresh an excuse as to why I left?’

 

******

 

**Peeta’s POV**

 

I wake up with Cashmere’s naked form pressed against me. The events of yesterday come rushing back to me. Me bringing my team to victory with four goals, Cashmere and I fucking in the stables after we got high and then.. running into Katniss. With her boyfriend. No, her _fiancé_. Because she’s _engaged_ – to Thresh Mehra…

My heart beats painfully in my chest. I hadn’t expected to be this hurt by her engagement, but I’m not surprised I am. If your first and only love has promised herself to another man, you’re bound to feel like your heart is ripped out of your chest. This is going to be a horrible day and it’ll probably be followed by a lot of horrible more ones. I sigh loudly, it’s not like the last couple of months were a lot better..

Cashmere turns in her sleep before she wakes up.

‘Good morning’ she says smiling.  
‘Morning’ I mumble and I look back up to my ceiling.  
She yawns. ‘Any big plans for today?’

I have nothing planned for today. Nothing big anyway. It’s because of the opening of Fashion Week tomorrow. My mother always throws the first show – right here in the palace and it’s the most important event of the year for her, so for the first time in a long time, she’s finally off my back. _Maybe I should do something bigger than marijuana today?_

Cashmere nudges me, done waiting for her answer. ‘Not yet.. You?’ I reply and I get out of bed and walk to the bong that’s waiting for me on my coffee table.  
‘Only getting ready for Fashion Week’  
‘Oh yeah, you’re walking my mother’s show’ I say while I light the cannabis in the stem.  
While I wait for the water to boil, Cashmere asks me if I’ll be in the audience. ‘Yes. I don’t really have a choice..’ Smoke starts to appear and I eagerly breath it in. When I exhale I ask if Cashmere wants some. She joins me only in her knickers.

That’s how Delly finds us a few minutes after the drugs have kicked in when she walks into my room. Smoking marihuana half naked.

Apparently what she encounters is so unexpected that she stares at me wide-eyed and opened-mouthed. I laugh because my sister resembles a blushing fish right now.

Delly awkwardly stutters something.  
‘What?’ I ask confused.  
My sister closes her eyes to compose herself. ‘Katniss is here. She says she wants to talk to you’ Delly looks at me to gauge my reaction. ‘I could tell the guards to throw her out’  
‘No!’ I yell, surprising us all. ‘Uuh.. No’ I repeat in a softer tone. ‘I’ll talk to her. Where is she?’  
‘In the east drawing room’ Delly answers and then she flees my room.

I quickly get dressed and brush my teeth. I even put on some cologne – I don’t want her to smell the marihuana and I hastily leave my room. Cashmere, though still half naked in my room, is long forgotten.

I have a pretty good idea what she wants to talk about, but I wonder what she’s going to say. I tell myself even if she’s not here to talk about our fight, I _will_ ask her _why_ she did what she did. Even if she’s only here to invite me to her wedding or something.

I quickly make my way to the room where Katniss is waiting for me. My heart is beating rapidly in my chest and even my breathing quickens. I can even feel my hands start to sweat. _Here we go.._

Katniss is sitting in one of the sofas. She’s nervously tapping the floor with her right foot. When she hears me enter she stops and she looks up to me. Silver meets blue and a million memories of looking her in her eyes come back to me. Everything feels right in my world again, but only for a second.

‘Good morning Lady Katherine’ I calmly say with a blank tone and face.  
She curtsies and greets me just as formal. ‘I’m sorry I’ve dropped in unannounced Your Highness, but I promise it won’t take too long’  
‘No’ I say a bit too bitter for my liking. ‘You’ve got a lot of wedding planning to get back to’  
Her face doesn’t show any emotion when I say this. No excitement, no joy, no annoyance, no anger. Nothing. Her face is just as blank as mine. ‘Exactly’ she simply says, but then she narrows her eyes at me. I’m hoping that I somehow hit a nerve, but I haven’t. ‘Are you high?’ she spits out angrily.

I laugh, feeling it’s effect kick in again. ‘Only a little’  
She scowls at me and her eyes do something to me. She always looked hot when she was mad. ‘It’s ten in the morning!’  
‘Yes that’s correct. Good job Lady Katherine for remembering something from primary school!’ I say laughingly, still shamelessly trying to hit that nerve.  
She presses her lips in an angry, thin line and then she turns around and walks away from me. I seem to have succeeded, but I regret it immediately. _No, this isn’t how this was supposed to go! I was supposed to confront her!_

‘Stop!’ I yell when she’s halfway to do door. ‘I need to talk with you!’ I say in an angry tone.  
She spins around immediately. ‘Yes you have _a lot_ of talking to do! I think I deserve an explanation!’ she yells and the blank face she just had, has turned into a painting of emotions. Anger. Hurt. Disbelieve. They’re turning her face back to life and giving her features colours.

All I want to do is kiss her senseless. _Fuck_. What’s wrong with me when it comes to her?

‘Why didn’t you call me after I got shot?! Why didn’t you come to visit me?!’ she demands.

 _Is she serious?_ I laugh a humourless laugh. ‘Are you serious?!’ I yell. ‘I called you a hundred times! I even called your sister and Madge! None of you picked up and later Boggs tells me that you have some secret code phone that no one call you on, unless _you_ contact them _first_! I got the message loud and clear, _Katniss_!’

She balls up her fists. ‘I only did that because I thought you didn’t care!’ she yells at me in an angry tone, but it’s laced with hurt.

I gasp audibly. ‘You got shot! Of course I cared!’ I yell disbelieving. _How could she think I didn’t?_

‘Then why didn’t you text me when I was in surgery or some of my family members? And why didn’t you come to India?’ she quickly wipes a tear from her cheek, one that obviously wasn’t meant to fall.

‘Because I couldn’t.. I was on my way to you as soon as I heard the news, please believe that..’ I beg in a soft tone. All my anger has left me. All I want is for her to hear what I say and understand it. All I want is Katniss her forgiveness. ‘My parents stopped me from going. They needed me to stay here in England and fulfil my duties to the crown.. My mother took away all of my privileges – the plane, the money, the servants.. I couldn’t even get to the airport if I tried.. I’m so sorry Katniss..’ I explain.  
And later I was so mad at her and jealous of Thresh, that I just drowned my misery in booze rather than go to her. I don’t tell Katniss this because I don’t want her to know I’m jealous of her boyfriend. No, _fiancé_.

Her face has softened but I can still see some of her anger. ‘Then why didn’t you text my parents?’  
_Because I was a sobbing mess and after that I had to have dinner with the King of Sweden._ ‘Because I was an idiot..’ I cover my face with my hands out of shame. ‘And after that I just let my anger cloud my judgement.. I’m so sorry Katniss’

She doesn’t respond for a moment and when I can bare to look her in her eyes again, I notice her lips quivering. I step in front of her and take her hands in mine.

Her hands feel so soft and are so warm in my larger ones and they fit perfectly in mine. _Please don’t pull away from me._

She got her answers and now I want mine. ‘Why did you think I didn’t care?’ I plead, searching her silver orbs for a clue. _So pretty.._

The marihuana is making me feel spacey and I feel like moving back and forth on the palms on my feet, but I use the feel of Katniss her hands on mine to ground me. Her answer will be the most important answer I’ve ever received so if I float away and into the air now, everything will be ruined.

Katniss’ cheeks get a nice red tint and she breaks our eye contact.  
‘Katniss?’ I beg.  
‘Because… Because I-‘ she utters.  
My heart races out of my chest in anticipation over her answer. ‘Because..?’ I whisper, trying to spur her on and I squeeze her hand encouragingly.  
She shakes her head slightly. ‘It doesn’t matter anymore Peeta..’ she says in a broken whisper.

The moment she says it, my thumb touches the cold and hard engagement ring on her finger, bringing me back to reality. She’s right. It all doesn’t matter anymore, no matter what she was going to say. What I was _hoping_ she would say. She’s still going to marry Thresh..

I let her hands go immediately, like they’re burning me. _In a way they are.._

A tear rolls over my cheek while I watch her go and I don’t even care enough to wipe it away.

Was this how our love story ended? By her walking out of the room and down the aisle to marry someone else? Before our love story even really began? For as long as I remembered the love I felt for Katniss has burnt bright in my heart.

Neither one of us owning up to our feelings and saying them out loud and letting our own pride and stubbornness get in the way of true happiness, has killed that love. It has killed me.

We ended what we could have before it even began.

 

******

 

**Katniss’ POV**

 

With a heavy heart I return home. I’m so upset that I immediately run to my room, not even considering the fact that Thresh could be there. Luckily he’s not, so I break down into a sobbing mess on my floor.

God, I was so wrong. What a fool I’d been! He did wanted to come to me, but his awful parents had stopped him and so had his duties as the crown prince. It wasn’t because of Glimmer.. My own petty insecurities had ruined everything for me. For us!

Because that was what he wanted too, I think at least. He hadn’t said it, but neither had I, and he was high when he spoke, but I could read it in his blue eyes. Looking into those blue eyes had always felt like coming home. Peeta always felt like home.

But he wasn’t and he shouldn’t be. All I knew now for certain was that Peeta did care for me as a friend and we had mended our broken friendship a bit.

Didn’t it say a lot that Thresh told me he loved me after dating four months and that he then asked me to marry me, while Peeta and I never even said those words to each other?

I let out a heavy sigh. I didn’t know what to do anymore.. I was torn between dreams and the promises I’d made.

I loved Peeta, I couldn’t deny or lie about it any longer. We had been friends for (almost) our entire lives and no one knew me as well as he did (well, maybe Prim, but she was my sister, so that didn’t really count..). He knew me as the flawed person I was and he still wanted to be my friend. He still cared for me and he might even love me. If he indeed wanted to be with me too, there were a lot of things I needed to consider.

Being with Peeta would have never been easy because of the family he was born into. If Andrew would’ve lived, Peeta would just be a prince. Life with him then still meant living in a spotlight, but not as a large one as being the head of the world’s most famous Royal family. It also meant that our daily lives wouldn’t have been scheduled from dawn to dusk by someone else. We could have lived somewhere in private and live our lives like we wanted to and for ourselves, at least more than we could do now.

To be honest it never crossed my mind that much. Andrew was supposed to be King and I never thought that Peeta would reciprocate my feelings. Peeta was always seeing someone else, then I met Gale and as the foolish teenager I was, I thought that he would be my forever guy. Then Peeta and I had our fight and I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.

But then we made up and my once hidden feelings, resurfaced.

The question was, if it came down to it, did I want to be Queen? The answer was ‘No’. It just wasn’t the life I wanted to live. The life I live now, the one of a Lady who was an activist, was public enough for me. It wasn’t uncommon that someone took my picture while I was in some Starbucks on the other side of the world and then for it to be published here in England. Hell, I was so known that I had received death threats and caught a bullet in my abdomen.  
As a Queen, I’d get even more of that misery and instead of doing something amazing that made it worth it, I was only supposed to host parties, luncheons and events like Queen Josephine was doing now.

 _God, I’d be miserable._ Yes, I would have Peeta forever next to me, but if I was miserable, our marriage would be too and I couldn’t lose Peeta again. I’d rather have him as my platonic friend while I was married to someone else than as a resentful ex-husband.

And I didn’t want to hurt Thresh like that, by breaking my promise to him about spending our future together. He doesn’t deserve it and I really do believe we can be happy together.

 

******

 

‘Did you mean it when you said you wanted a summer wedding?’ Thresh asks me in the afternoon when we’re at the stables.

We just spend the last two hours horseback riding on my family’s grounds. I’m combing my horse Bluebell and Thresh is cleaning up my father’s horse Iris.

I decided that I would want a life that represents me, not a lifestyle or a country. I would get over Peeta, with the help of Thresh – the man I still was going to marry. He was a great guy and we were going to live a happy life. It didn’t matter I wasn’t in love with him. I cared for him, deeply, and I was sure that one day that would grow to be love.

Peeta and I would still be friends, he would become King, a job he’d be excellent at and he would get a wife that would love him as much as I do. I was certain of this because Peeta was just the type of guy everyone loves – the quality that would make him the best of Kings.

I watch my hand as I carefully comb Bluebell. ‘I have been thinking about it’ I lie ‘and I think it would be too soon. We can’t plan a wedding in 4 short weeks’  
‘What about the fall then?’  
‘Yeah sure..’ I mutter. ‘I don’t want a big wedding anyway’ I look up to him and give him a smile. ‘Although I think it will be, since you invited everyone at the polo match that decided to donate money to ‘WAOATS’’ I say laughingly.  
Thresh laughs too and I go back to combing Bluebell’s mane.  
‘Or we could get married in India. It is where were going to live after the wedding anyways’ Thresh says.

I look up to him in surprise. ‘It is?’  
‘Well, of course. I have my jobs there, I can’t live in England. What did you expect?’  
I hadn’t really thought about it. ‘That we would spend half the year in England and the other six months in India’ I lie. ‘Or something..’ I add awkwardly. ‘And I still want to be an activist, so we’ll have to live where that takes me. Us’  
Thresh nods. ‘Okay what about a compromise. Half the year we live in India where I work, the other half we live where your work takes us or in England’  
I nod. ‘Sounds good, but what are we going to those 6 months when we don’t have to work?’ I ask, already dreading that part of the years to come.  
‘Maybe we’ll volunteer somewhere? There’s always something, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there’ Thresh says and he waves away the issue.  
‘Okay..’ I mumble.  
‘Now about our wedding-‘

 

* * *

 

 

The next day was the first day of Fashion Week. Madge and I had gotten an invitation to go to the Queen’s show in the palace. Normally I’d decline – I didn’t like fashion, the queen or being too much in the palace, but Madge begged me to and the designer was Cinna, both Madge and my favourite. Cinna even added a handwritten note saying he hoped to meet us there, because he was a big fan of our work. So, there was no rejecting this one.

Madge was dressed gorgeously in a black plunge skater dress made out of a satin material. Her heels, clutch and lips were in the same bright red colour and her hair was in a high ponytail.

I was wearing a sandy colour bodycon dress with dark blue lace on the sides. My hair was in a messy bun in my neck and I had few loose hairs gracing my face. The painful heels I wore were in the same nude colour as my dress, while my useless clutch was in the dark blue tint.

Thresh was very sweet and had complimented me twice on my outfit, but to be honest I was glad I was having a night to myself. He was kind of smothering me sometimes and he had talked of nothing else than the wedding the whole afternoon.

‘Any big plans tonight?’ I jokes before I left.  
Thresh nodded excitedly. ‘I have a date with your father’ he joked. ‘We’re going to watch some football’  
We both laughed. ‘Don’t wait up for me’ I said before I left and I gave him a kiss.

 

******

 

‘Do you think he meant it? Cinna?’ Madge asks when we walk into the palace. ‘When he said he wanted to meet us?’  
I laugh. ‘I can’t imagine he would write every single one of the guests a handwritten note saying he wants to meet them’  
Madge sees my logic.

When we give our invitation to the bouncer, he looks up surprised and says something to the device around his wrist.

A second man appears and addresses us. ‘Lady Katherine? Ms. Undersee?’ when we both nod he continues. ‘Mr. Cinna would like to meet you backstage. If that’s all right?’  
Madge squeals out of excitement and for a moment I think she’s going to jump up and down. I’m better at composing myself and just give the man a polite smile and say that it is.

Madge can’t seem to contain her nerves and squeezes my arm. ‘Is this real?’ she whispers.  
‘Well that hurt, so yes it is’ I chuckle.  
‘Sorry’ she apologetic, but her eyes still twinkle due to her excitement.

I can feel someone’s eyes on me while Madge and I walk to the back, where the real magic is happening. When I look to my left I see Peeta standing in the far back of the ballroom. The room is dark and there are hundreds of people here and yet our eyes find one another’s way too easily. He drops his eyes to my hand – to my engagement ring, and then he goes back to talking to the person next to him.

‘Here it is’ the bouncer says when we’re backstage and he opens a door.

Madge and I walk into the room that’s filled with people doing their job to make this show a successful one. Models, makeup artists, hair dressers, seamstresses. There are even a few journalists present. I see the Queen yelling nervously at no one in particular and in the middle of all the chaos is the man himself. Cinna.

He notices us immediately and hurries his way over to Madge and me.

‘Lady Katherine, Ms. Undersee. My name is Cinna’ he introduces himself and shakes our hands. The clothes he designs are in a way very similar to the designer himself. Chic, humble, flattering and with a touch of playfulness. Cinna’s entire outfit is black, but he wears golden eyeliner to highlight his eyes and in his right ear he has a few piercings. Not someone who I immediately would associate with the Queen, but she isn’t a fool. She sees and recognizes his talent, but that’s not very hard to do. His creations are divine. ‘It’s an honour to meet you both’ he says smiling.  
‘The honour is ours’ I say with a warm smile.  
Madge nods. ‘Thank you so much for the invitation. We’re very excited to be here’

‘That’s very kind of you to say’ Cinna says. ‘I have to admit I’m a bit of a fan of you both..’ he chuckles shyly. ‘I just think what the two of you do for our world is so honourable, so inspiring. It has inspired me a great deal. In fact, I’m beginning a new clothing line in co-operation with the WWF’  
‘That’s amazing!’ I say impressed.

‘Thank you’ he says blushing shyly. ‘We intend to make clothes, like fake fur coats, that have been made in an eco-friendly way by fare trade material and where animals didn’t have to suffer for’  
‘What a great initiative!’ Madge exclaims and I agree.  
Cinna smiles excitedly and continues. ‘And we’d like to sell these clothes for a reasonable price while informing the people what clothes like ours can do for the world’s flora, fauna and people. But to spread a message like this, we need a voice’

‘A voice?’ I ask confused.  
Cinna nods. ‘A voice that has spread messages like ours before. A voice that’s respected by people all over the world and one that will make people stop and listen’  
He lets what he just said sink in and then Cinna looks directly at me when he speaks again. ‘Someone who has set the world on fire by all the changes she’s made to better it. We need a girl on fire. We need you, Lady Katherine’  
My voice is caught in my throat, but before I can say something, he turns to Madge.  
‘We need you both, Ms. Undersee’

I know that working for Cinna would be a dream come true for Madge, but before she can accept on our behalves, I ask him what exactly Cinna would need us to do.  
‘You’d be the faces of our line’ Cinna answers.  
‘Like modelling?’ Madge asks surprised and her eyes almost fall out of her eye sockets.  
Cinna nods. ‘And you’d be giving speeches in WWF’s name’

So, modelling and giving public speeches. With the latter I now have more experience, but I still hated speaking in front of so many people and now being in front of strangers had become even more gruesome after I got shot.  
And modelling? Nothing about that job seemed like something for me. Just wearing pretty clothes while you posed for thousands of pictures (or worse – walked down a catwalk) and acting sexy or something, seemed like a nightmare to me.

But it was a dream to Madge, so I didn’t immediately say no. At the exact same moment Madge said ‘Yes!’, I asked when we had to give our answer.

Cinna chuckled good naturedly. ‘I’ll give you till the end of the week. I really hope you’ll say yes’ he says while looking at me. ‘You’d be perfect for the job’ then he excuses himself and asks a security detail to take us to our seats.

‘Why did you need to think about it?’ Madge whispers disbelieving when we sit down on our front seats. Cinna _really_ wants us to accept the job..  
‘Because I don’t want to give speeches anymore. And modelling just seems awful’ I answer.  
‘You’ve never tried it. Maybe it’ll be fun’ Madge says, sounding very hopeful.  
I sigh. ‘I know you really want to do this and I love the cause – I swear I do, but the job itself just sounds horrible-‘  
‘But it’s for Cinna, our favourite designer and he seemed so genuinely nice, didn’t you think?’

That was one thing I could agree with her on. ‘He did, but can we talk about it later? We got some time to think about it and I need to discuss it with Thresh’ I say. I can’t make decisions about the future on my own anymore, I now had to make those with my fiancé. ‘Let’s just enjoy the enjoy the show for now’ I say, trying to give Madge a kind smile.

Before Madge can reply someone sits down in the empty seat on my left. Someone with a sturdy built, blond curls and a musky and cinnamon-like scent. His scent fills my nostrils when I breath in. The air I inhaled mixed with his scent makes its way down to my toes and fills my entire body, making a butterfly like sensation fill my stomach.

Peeta just sat down next to me.

 

******

 

**Peeta’s POV**

 

Of all the seats in this gigantic ballroom, mine was next to hers. They say coincidences don’t exist, but this has to be one. I’m surprised she’s even here, she hates this sort of things.

‘Hey Katniss’ I try to greet her cheerfully, but I’m sure I’m failing. It’s not that I don’t want to see her or sit next to her, it just stings she’s still engaged.

Katniss lips turn into a lovely smile and the gesture makes me focus on them. _God, what I wouldn’t give to have them on my-_

 _No, not going to happen!_ , I scold myself. _Have some respect.._

Katniss lips have moved and she looks expectantly at me and I realise that I missed what she said because I was dreaming about her giving me a blowjob.

‘Sorry?’ I say a little embarrassed and my cheeks warm up. Luckily it’s too dark in here for her to notice it.

She chuckles and leans in a little so she’s more audible, thinking the loud music and chattering people was what made me miss her question. It reminds me of the last time we were this close to one another. How her olive-toned skin felt against my fair one. How her naked body fitted perfectly against mine. How her hands roamed over my body and mine over hers. How she smelled like her rosy perfume, the one she’s wearing now, and like pines. How she screamed my name in pleasure.

The memory is so vivid, I can feel my cock start to twitch in its prison, begging for a touch. _Her_ touch.

‘What brings you here?’ Katniss asks, repeating her question.  
I cough a little, afraid my voice is going to be raspy after that graphic flashback. ‘Katniss’ I say in mock seriousness. ‘I _live_ here’  
She smiles and pats my shoulder playfully. ‘Ha-ha’ she says sarcastically. ‘ _Fine.._ What brings you to the _show_?’ she says and she rolls her eyes playfully.  
I laugh. ‘Nothing brought me here Katniss, someone _dragged_ me’ I joke. ‘What about you? You always decline your invitation’  
Katniss nods. ‘Yes, but this time it came with a handwritten note from the designer himself’  
‘Cinna?’ I ask surprised.  
‘Yes, he offered me a job..’ she answers laughingly and she shakes her head in disbelieve.  
I open my mouth to say something, but I’m cut off by the opening of the show.

Katniss’ close proximity in the next hour does strange things to me. It relaxes me, it makes me super aware of everything around me, makes my heart go crazy and every time our knees or our elbows touch, a fire starts within me. I wonder if she feels it too..

When the show is finally over, I turn to Katniss. I want a little more time with her.

‘Want to grab a drink?’ I ask smiling.  
She looks at me for a second and I can see her contemplating if she’s going to say yes or is she’s going to give me an excuse. ‘Sure’ she says and she gives me a shy smile.

We just look into one another’s eyes for what feels like eternity, but in reality it’s only a short moment. When we get up to leave, she says something to Madge and then we’re on our way to get a glass of champagne.  
‘Let’s go somewhere quieter’ I suggest when we both have a glass of the sparkling liquid in our hands.  
She agrees with a shy smile.

When we’re in a room, far away from the madding crowd, we sit down on a sofa and I ask her about the job offer.  
Katniss takes a large gulp from her champagne. ‘Yes.. well.. I haven’t accepted it and I’m not sure I will..’  
‘Why not?’ I ask.  
She laughs. ‘Because it’s for _modelling_ and I’d have to be a spokesperson _again_..’ she finishes the rest of her drink.

Understanding dawns upon me. Not only does she hate speaking in public, but the last time on the job she got shot. She might’ve stayed in India and gave a hundred more speeches, but she’s still scared.

And it’s my fault. If I had gone to her and helped her, she might’ve not been living in fear now.

Before I realise what I’m doing, I’m holding her hand. ‘I’m so sorry Katniss’ I begin. ‘I should’ve gone to you. I wanted to, so badly.. I should’ve found a way..’  
She waits a second before she answers. ‘I’m sorry too..’ she whispers and her eyes resemble the regret I feel. ‘I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I should’ve had more faith in you..’

We both screwed up and it had affected both of our lives a great deal, but I didn’t want it to change the outcome. Our outcome.

I cup her cheek with my hand and softly stroke it with my thumb. When she doesn’t pull away, I get the confirmation I need. I press my lips gently on hers and kiss her. There’s no denying the sparks that begin with her touch and that race through my entire body, making me feel alive.

I pull back again and speak softly to her lips. ‘I just needed to do that one last time’ I say in a hoarse whisper. I look her in her eyes again. Her pupils have dilated and she’s staring at my lips as I speak. ‘Do I need to apologise?’ I ask with a heart beating rapidly of nervous energy.  
She looks up to me. ‘No’ she whispers and with her hand on my collar she pulls me in for another kiss.

Both of our champagne glasses disappear from our hands and start travelling over our bodies. She presses herself against me in the most delicious way, while our lips move against one another’s. One of my hands is on her ass and the other one is behind her neck, so I can keep her in place. Her tongue licks my lips, silently asking for entrance. I suck it slightly, before I let her in. When she strokes my tongue with hers, fireworks erupt in my body and my toes curl in my shoes. I’m unable to suppress a moan.

Katniss pulls my curls softly and everything she makes me feel – lust, love, happiness – either makes my heart go crazy or makes my cock lurch uncontrollably. She carefully sits down on my lap and starts to grind against my hard shaft. The feeling of _her_ centre moving over the place that craves it the most, is enough to make me lose my shit, but I’m able to contain myself. Barely, but still..

I reposition myself slightly, so my cock will bounce against her clit and she moans in pleasure when we collide.  
The sound that leaves her lips is pure torture to me. ‘ _Fuck_ , Katniss’ I groan. I don’t think I can take this much longer.

Katniss looks at me with nothing but lust in her eyes. I don’t think she can take this much longer too..  
She bites her swollen lower lip in anticipation and moves her hands to unzip my trousers. I groan in expectance of what’s to come.

Right when she tries to push off my pants, someone runs into the room, startling both Katniss and I. We look up to our intruder immediately. It’s Cashmere.

I tighten my grip on Katniss, afraid that she’s going to bold and send daggers with my eyes to Cashmere.

‘Peeta, thank God..’ Cashmere says and she looks relieved. ‘I need to talk to you. Immediately’  
I want to tell her she should get the hell out of here, but before I have the chance, Katniss wrests out of my grasp.  
I hear her curse under her breath and she runs out of the room.

‘Katniss, wait!’ I yell. I jump up and I zip my pants, ready to run after her, but Cashmere stops me by blocking my way.

I glare at her. ‘What the hell is your problem?!’ I yell. ‘Why did you do that?!’  
‘Because I _need_ to talk with you’ she says and her eyes bear desperation and panic.  
‘Well I don’t want to talk with you!’ I yell. ‘Have you any idea what you did?!’ I try to go after Katniss again, purposefully shoving Cashmere’s shoulder out of sheer anger.

But before I reach the door, she says to me what she needed to so desperately and it makes me stop dead in my tracks.

‘I’m pregnant!’ Cashmere yells. ‘And it’s yours!’

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, following, kudos-ing and commenting! Truely means a lot! :-*
> 
> Any thoughts on K&T's engagement, Everlark kiss, Cashmere's pregnancy or something else? Love to hear 'em! :) xx


	12. Dreams versus Duties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! I hope you can ejoy this one! :) 
> 
> In case you don't know, 999 is the emergency number in England.
> 
> My apologies for any mistakes.

**Peeta’s POV**

 

‘You’re not’ I say, I beg.

After Cashmere dropped the bomb of her supposed pregnancy, I took her to my room so we could talk in private. I don’t want any wandering guest of my mother’s fashion show to overhear this conversation.

Cashmere nervously bites her lip and her eyes display her fear.

‘It’s not possible’ I continue with a furiously beating heart. ‘We’ve always had protected sex!’

Cashmere is silent for a second too long.

_Fuck_. ‘God, please tell me we’ve always had protected sex!’ I exclaim.

‘Well, yeah, _almost_ always’ Cashmere says.

‘What?!’ I yell.

‘Well, I’m not on the pill, so those times we were too drunk or too high to wrap it, we had unsafe sex’

‘You told me you were on the pill!’ I yell. ‘Why aren’t you on the pill?!’ 

‘I never said that! And the pill makes me fat and I’m a model, so..’ Cashmere says and she angrily crosses her arms.

I don’t even notice her anymore. I start to pace through my room. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m screwed!_ I can’t have a baby with Cashmere. I’ll have to marry her and that’s the last thing in the world I want to do. God, I can already see the headlines. _“Crown prince fathered a bastard”_. This is going to be the biggest scandal of the century. 

I almost break my neck when I return my gaze back to Cashmere. ‘Did you take a test? Have you had an ultrasound?’ I demand.

Cashmere shakes her head. ‘Not yet’

I can feel my heart skip a beat. ‘Then how the hell do you know you’re pregnant?!’ I yell shocked. I pinch the bridge of my nose. ‘Jesus..’ I mutter.

‘Because my period is like clockwork, okay? I should’ve gotten my period 3 days ago..’

I look at Cashmere for a second. If she really is having my child, it will be expected of me that I’ll marry her. It doesn’t matter that there is only one girl I want as my wife because my life is bound to duties. 

Dreams versus duties, my life always comes back to that. 

‘Come back when you’ve taken _every_ test humanly possible and if you are indeed pregnant, I want a paternity test’ I demand.

‘Don’t worry Peeta, it’s yours. I was too busy fucking you to fuck someone else’ Cashmere spits. ‘You know, you don’t have to be such an asshole to the girl who’s carrying your child!’

I gasp angrily. ‘How did you expect I would react? That I’d be _happy_? I don’t want a baby! I don’t want to get married!’ 

‘Why not? You have to marry eventually, so why not now? Why not to me?!’ Cashmere yells.

_Why not Cashmere?_ ‘Because I want to marry the girl I love!’ I yell. 

My room is silent for only a second before Cashmere yells something back, but in that second I realise the meaning of my words. Or actually the truth within them. How I love Katniss like I’ve never loved anyone and how I’ll never love someone like that again. How badly I want her to be my future wife, even though she’s engaged to someone else and that ship has probably sailed forever. How I can’t see myself get married to someone else and I don’t even want to try. 

‘Who? _Katniss_? I don’t know if you’d realised it yet, but the girl is going to marry someone else. Stop waiting around for her, it’s not going to happen!’ Cashmere says while angrily pointing a finger at me. 

I let out a humourless laugh. ‘Then why was she kissing me mere minutes ago?’ I say in a desperate attempt to convince both Cashmere and I.

‘Being engaged is not the same as being married. She will go through with the wedding and then she’ll never give you the light of day again!’

My body flushes with anger. ‘You don’t know that!’

‘Jesus Peeta, it doesn’t matter if you’re _childhood crush_ is or isn’t going to marry that actor. We’ve got other things to worry about. You knocked me up!’

I ball my fist up in anger. I’m not – that – angry with Cashmere, but with myself. For screwing up my life. For digging my own grave. If only I hadn’t been such an asshole and irresponsible idiot, Katniss could’ve been standing with me in my room right now instead of Cashmere. 

_Who claims to be pregnant with my child._

‘You should leave’ I say in a calm tone. ‘You can come back when you can prove your pregnancy’

Cashmere’s eyes widen and the sight would’ve been funny in an – _entirely_ – different situation. ‘You’re kicking me out?!’ she yells in disbelieve.

‘You don’t live here Cashmere, _I_ do’ I say. ‘And we’re not together’ I add just in case she needed reminding.

Cashmere scowls at me and pokes me hard in my chest with her fingernail. ‘If I really am pregnant, and believe me, I am, I know my body, you won’t get rid of me this easily!’ she slams the door shut when she leaves. 

 

* * *

 

 

**Katniss’ POV**

 

I have trouble looking at my reflection in the mirror the next morning. I’m disgusted with myself.

My fingertips involuntarily touch my lips. 

I can’t believe what I did. I let Peeta kiss me and I kissed him back. 

_I cheated on my fiancé._

After Peeta’s girlfriend walked in on me and Peeta dry humping each other, I couldn’t get out of the palace fast enough. I texted Madge I was leaving and jumped in my car. When I got home I snuck into my bed next to my sleeping and ignorant fiancé. 

_I’m horrible._

Kissing Peeta made me completely forget reality and Cashmere’s appearance was like a bucket of ice water being dropped on me that successfully woke me from the spell I seemed to be under. 

I scrub my face so furiously with my washcloth that my face starts to burn. Unfortunately the aching of the burning feeling does nothing to lessen the shame I feel. But I don’t deserve to feel any better.

_I’m a despicable person.._

I’ve finally reached a point in my life where I can honestly be proud of myself. I’m a well-known activist who’s done a lot of good for this world, I’ve stopped with being intoxicated at clubs almost every day of the week and I’m engaged to the best fiancé a girl could wish for. Then I go and kiss Peeta and turn from a respectable person to a disloyal bitch. 

I have to tell Thresh. I don’t want to start off our marriage with a huge lie, I can’t do that to him. He deserves more. More than I am. 

I wouldn’t blame him if he calls off our engagement, that’s what I would do if I was in his shoes, but if he wants to work it out, I would be forever grateful. 

With a heavy, but a rapid beating, heart, I make my way downstairs to look for Thresh. 

I find him in the parlour, having breakfast with Prim. 

His face breaks out into a huge smile when he sees me. The guilt is like an ice cold hand that wraps around my heart and squeezes it painfully. When he stands out to greet me with a kiss on my cheek, I almost burst out in tears, but I’m able to get a hold on myself and wish my sister and fiancé a good morning. 

‘Did you enjoy your night out, dear?’ Thresh asks me while he butters his toast.

God, what am I supposed to answer to that? _It was fine, the highlight of the evening was when Peeta shoved his tongue down my throat._

I take a zip of my tea before I answer. ‘Yes, the fashion was amazing. Cinna truly is an artist’ 

‘Did you meet him? Cinna?’ Prim asks enthusiastically. 

I give my sister a smile and nod. ‘Yes, he was very nice’

Thresh chuckles. ‘High praise coming from you’ he says and he winks at me.

I manage to laugh along with Prim convincingly, the guilt still threatening to make my heart stop beating. ‘You know me well..’ I say in a soft tone to my breakfast. It’s not even a lie, he _does_ know me well..

‘What did Cinna say? What did you talk about?’ Prim inquires me, still with a big grin on her face. 

I swallow my toast before I answer. ‘Well, uh-‘ I awkwardly mutter. ‘He offered us a job’ 

‘What?’ Thresh asks surprised, but I’m too much of a chicken to look away from the blue eyes of my sister. 

‘Madge and you? As what?’ Prim asks with surprise and excitement in those blue orbs.

I nod in response. ‘As models and spokespersons for a new line’ 

‘Did you accept?’ Thresh demands and I can’t avoid him any longer and turn my gaze to him. 

‘No, but I didn’t decline his offer either. I promised Madge and Cinna I would give it some thought’ 

Thresh scowls at me. ‘Why? You can’t take on a new job now, you know that. We have our next couple of months planned out. We’re getting married in three months and after that we’re going back to India’ his tone leaves no room for argument, but unfortunately for Thresh that’s not who I am. 

‘Yes that was the plan, but now Madge and I received this incredible offer and I’m not going to decline it just because you’re homesick’ I say angrily. 

Thresh lips turn into a thin line and he drops his cutlery in his plate. ‘I don’t want to go back to India because I’m homesick Katniss, I have to go back because I have an actual job there!’

‘No you don’t!’ I counter. ‘You don’t have any movies on your schedule-‘

Thresh interrupts me. ‘No, but I’ve been asked to audition for a couple of projects’ 

My eyes land on my sister, who’s still sitting at the table with us, looking very uncomfortable in the scene she doesn’t want to be a part of. ‘Prim, could you give us-‘

‘Of course!’ she says relieved and she jumps out of her chair. 

When the door closes behind her, I turn back to Thresh. ‘Give me a good reason to turn down this job Thresh. Why should we move to the other side of the world with the hopes of you getting a job, if we can stay here where I already have one lined up?’

Thresh lets out an annoyed sigh. ‘Give me a break Katniss, like you actually want to be a model. You hate the fashion world’

‘That may be true, but this is for a new line for the WWF with Cinna. Besides, for Madge this would be a dream come true and I’m not going to destroy that because of my own petty feelings or because you want to go back to India without a good reason!’ my scowl hasn’t moved an inch of my face. I still feel guilty about the Peeta debacle, but I’m not going to be pushed aside by Thresh. It may be true that I always avoided the fashion world like the plague, but no one tells me what I can and cannot do.

‘I have plenty good reasons for going back to India! My mother, my friends, the chances of starring in new projects, my work for ‘WAOATS’. Why should I turn my back on that only because you don’t want to break your friend’s dream?! I’m your _fiancé_! It may be selfish, but I’m going to be your husband by the end of the year and I should come before anyone else!’ his eyes still harbour the same anger I feel and he adds ‘I should come first in your life, not your friends!’

I keep my mouth shut, because I don’t have a retort to that. He’s right, he should come first, he’s my fiancé. _The fiancé I cheated on._

God, poor Thresh, there’s always someone I put before him. He never comes first.. Madge, Peeta, Prim, my parents.. He doesn’t even come second.. 

‘And modelling isn’t even a real job!’ Thresh continues when I stay silent.

I role my eyes at him. ‘Come on, this isn’t about that-‘

Thresh cuts me off again. ‘Well if it had been for a more respectable position, I would’ve sooner agreed to dropping all of our _agreed_ plans!’ 

I gape at him. I’m utterly dumbfounded. ‘Respectable position?!’ I yell. ‘You’re an actor! There’s not much difference between your job and modelling’

I don’t think I could’ve offended him more. He looks so upset, I wouldn’t be surprised if steam would come out of his ears. ‘That’s absolutely not true! My job actually acquires talent and I make people feel something and entertain them. Modelling on the other hand only acquires someone to look good on an airbrushed photo! Is that really what you want to do?!’ he yells. 

Fuck, I can’t take it anymore. The guilt, the heading into a future I can’t even say I want, the fighting, the never ending feelings for Peeta. Everything starts to boil inside of me and I’m boiling over. 

‘I cheated on you’ I say in a soft, but unwavering, tone. 

 

******

 

**Peeta’s POV**

 

That afternoon I text Finnick ‘999’ and drag Delly into my room. 

Cashmere has texted me three separate photo’s proving her pregnancy and I really need to talk to the two I trust the most and can burden with this secret. The first picture is of a positive pregnancy stick, the second one is of her getting an ultrasound and the third one is of a sonogram. 

‘What’s going on?’ Delly demands when the three of us are in my bedroom. She looks really worried and slightly scared. 

I sit down across from them on one of my sofas and put my elbows on my knees. ‘Cashmere is pregnant’ I say in a quiet tone and I hide my face in my hands. Not out of shame, but out of desperation and panic. 

‘What?!’ my sister yells.

‘ _Fuck_ ’ Finnick so helpfully adds. 

‘Yup..’ I agree with him. 

Delly opens her mouth and sensing what she wants to ask, I show them the photos Cashmere send me. 

‘This doesn’t prove anything’ Finnick says when he gives back my mobile and he shakes his head. ‘That stick and sonogram can be fake and that one of her taking the ultrasound could be staged’

‘Yes, but she is holding that stick and sonogram herself’ Delly says. Finnick and I turn to her and she gives us the explanation. ‘I noticed that in all three of the pictures the hands have red nail polish on the fingernails’

My knee nervously starts to go up and down. My mind goes a mile a minute. ‘What do I do?’ is all I’m able to say. 

‘Dude, relax’ Finnick starts. ‘We don’t even know for sure if this is real and if the girl really is pregnant, we don’t even know if it’s yours’

‘Yes but what if it is my baby?!’ I yell in a fit of panic. _Oh God, oh God, oh God.._ ‘Then what do I do?!’

‘Goddammit Peeta!’ Delly spats and she jumps off the sofa. ‘How did this happen?!’

I give her a pointed look and she rolls her eyes unamused and scowls even more furiously at me. ‘ _Why_ did you let this happen?! How hard is it to use a condom?!’ 

She stares so long at me, I’m starting to think it weren’t rhetorical questions. ‘Uuuh..’ I mutter awkwardly and I feel my cheeks warm up. ‘I guess we were both too drunk to think straight..’ I scratch the back of my neck. 

‘Than that will be a mistake you’ll regret making for the rest of your life, because if the baby really is yours, you’ll have to marry Cashmere’ Delly’s tone and words may be hard, but in her eyes I can see her hurt and her pity. ‘I hate to sound like our parents, but this is going to be a scandal our family and country will never recover from.. Peeta, you know that I love you, but you have to lay in the bed you made – you have to marry Cashmere’ 

An image of my future as Cashmere’s husband flashes before me. The whole thing is just plain wrong. I’m not supposed to be Cashmere’s husband and I know that a life with her would make me miserable. ‘I- I can’t..’ I beg. 

‘Yes Delly, lots of Kings had bastards’ Finnick counters and he makes a vague gesture with his hands. ‘What if he doesn’t claim the kid? And Cashmere and the child live in secrecy or something? No one needs to know anything and he can live the life he wants. Don’t give the poor guy a life sentence like that just yet’ he tries.

‘ _I_ didn’t, _Peeta_ did that to himself! Besides, times have changed. It’s not acceptable anymore’ she says sternly to Finnick and then she turns back to me. ‘And your firstborn can’t be a bastard Peeta, that child will be the first in line for the throne and do you really want that kid to grow up feeling unwanted and unloved?!’

‘I know, but-‘ I desperately try, but even I know I can’t get out of this one. 

_Dreams versus duties._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Thresh still going to stand at the end of the altar? Is Peeta going down on one knee? 
> 
> I guess you'll have to wait and see, but I promise you won't have to wait so long again. #13 will be next week! ;)
> 
> xx


	13. Kryptonite

**Katniss’ POV**

 

Thresh had left. He had taken the first plane back to India and he had taken my engagement ring with him.

He was furious with me when I told him I had cheated on him. He screamed, he yelled, he called me names. But what was worse, was that he cried. I had broken his heart.

I told him I was sorry, that I never meant to hurt him, but what I had done was unforgivable. He could never forgive me or marry a cheater and I understood, so I let him go without a fight. Thresh packed his bags and demanded his ring back.

‘This ring may only be like a drop in waterfall to you, but I spend a big chunk of my savings on it!’ he yelled angrily.

That made me feel even worse. I deserved it though. I deserved every yell, every name he send my way, before he slammed the door behind him and left.

And that was that. The last time I saw Thresh and it was a horrible goodbye.

I had told my family that we had broken off our engagement and that we had split up. My parents were very disappointed. They really liked Thresh, especially my father was very fond of him, and my mother had been very excited about the wedding. Primrose wasn’t surprised, but she thankfully kept her mouth shut.

The next night Madge came over and I told her the news.

She was, just like Prim, not surprised.

‘Poor Thresh though’ she said.

‘Yes’ I agreed and I felt a tear run over my cheek. Just like Thresh, I had cried, but my tears came from the guilt and the pain I felt over hurting Thresh like that. He was an amazing guy and had been so nice to me, and I had treated him in the most treacherous way.

‘God, Katniss..’ Madge said disappointed. ‘I can’t believe you got sucked in again by Peeta.. I mean, I’m not _surprised_ , but I really hoped you would find happiness with someone who would treat you the way you deserve.. I thought that was Thresh..’

‘Peeta’s my kryptonite..’ I sighed and I emptied my wineglass in one gulp. ‘And now I don’t deserve to be treated how Thresh treated me’

Madge refilled our glasses before taking a zip herself. ‘Yes, what you did was unbelievably shitty-‘

‘Thank you’ I said and I mock toasted to that.

‘ _But_ ’ Madge continues while giving me a pointed look. ‘I’m not letting you drown yourself in wine and self-pity. You deserve to feel bad about what you did, but this world is still spinning around the sun – it didn’t stop. So what are you going to do now?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t know..’ I admitted. My whole schedule was just wiped clean and I could fill it with everything. ‘I need time for myself.. To get back to myself. I want to be the girl again who is independent and saves the world. Not the one that gets sucked in by all this boy drama.. We should take that job Cinna offered us’

Madge’s facial expression changed from a serious one to a thrilled one. ‘That would be a great idea. It’s an amazing new project and we’ve never done something like that before – that should be exciting!’ her face almost split in two due to the way she was grinning. ‘We’re going to be models!’ she squealed excitedly.

‘Oh boy..’ I said with a mock worry.

Madge laughed. ‘We’ll be fine Katniss. We’re a team’ she said smiling and I smiled back. ‘Besides it’s for _Cinna_ and they’ll airbrush the shit out of those photo’s so we’re going to look fabulous’

‘I know’ I said smiling.

Madge and I spend the next few minutes drinking wine and listening to Adele’s 25.

‘What are you going to do about Peeta?’

‘Nothing’ I answered. ‘I don’t want him to think I broke off the engagement for him’

‘Technically speaking, Thresh broke off the engagement’ Madge informed me.

‘I know, but I can’t say with absolute certainty that I would’ve gone through with marrying Thresh if I hadn’t cheated and he hadn’t broken it off..’ I sighed. ‘I just want everything to be normal again. Peeta and me being friends, without the drama, and you and me doing some good..’

‘You do realise those two never happened at the same time, right?’ Madge asked. ‘I mean you were friends with Peeta before you decided to become an activist and when you two patched things up, you slept with him before falling out again. So that short period of time you were both Peeta’s friend and an activist, you were more than friends’

I thought it over for a second. ‘What do you think that means?’

‘I don’t know. My brain is too clouded by the wine.. Maybe it means you have to choose, but it probably means that you don’t want to be just friends with Peeta anymore and being an activist has nothing to do with it’

I heard her words, but I was too tired to think them over. ‘Well, all I know is that I don’t want to do anything romantic with a guy for a very long time. And that I want to sleep. I’m exhausted’ I said.

Madge and I put our wineglasses next to my bed and got underneath my blankets.

‘You do know that we’re going to run into Peeta tomorrow right?’ Madge whispered.

‘Yes’ I whispered back. ‘That’s why I’m bringing you’ I said smiling.

‘I’m honoured’ she said sarcastically and we chuckled.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day my family and I were expected to attend a concert at the Royal Albert Hall. It was some type of anniversary and it was celebrated with a neo-classical concert composed and played by talents from all over the world.

The richest and finest from England were invited and the royal family would be sitting in the front row. Obviously.

Thresh was originally going to be my date, but now that we were through, I had an extra ticket that I offered to Madge. Madge loved classical music and played the piano like a pro. It was also nice to have my best friend with me, now that society was going to find out I was no longer engaged.

I hadn’t told anyone yet outside from my family and Madge because I believed it to be no one’s business, but I couldn’t hide my empty ring finger. Not that I wanted to, but it would probably cause a lot of commotion and I hated being the centre of attention. Especially if it was because of something negative – like ending your engagement. Or actually, being dumped by your fiancé because you cheated on him with the crown prince. Not that anyone was going to know that – I hadn’t even told _Thresh_ it was Peeta I had kissed.

When the five of us arrive, the hall is already filled with people.

‘Let’s just go to our seats’ I suggest in the hope that we don’t have to stop and talk with every boring acquaintance my parents have.

‘Great idea’ Prim agrees, knowing very well what I’m trying to achieve.

‘Look, there is Lady Trinket’ my mother says, deciding to ignore her daughters.

‘And I’ve already spotted your father Madge. I’m dying to talk to him about Manchester’s latest match’ my dad says.

My sister unsuccessfully tries to hide the look of horror on her face about the fact she has to talk about a football match and pink feathers, so she excuses herself to go to powder her nose. Madge and I join her in her quest for the loo.

I suddenly get the same feeling of being watched as when I was at the fashion show at the palace.

I let my gaze travel through the crowd until it locks on Peeta’s. I notice Cashmere is standing very close next to him and I do my best to ignore the unpleasant feeling that goes through me. For a tiny moment Peeta and I have eye contact. As on instinct, Peeta’s gaze drops on my hand and when he notices my empty ring finger, his eyes widen in surprise.

I quickly turn my head so I don’t have to look him in his blue eyes anymore, but I can feel his pleading gaze burn a hole in my back.

 

******

 

During intermission I check my mobile and find multiple Facebook messages from Peeta lighting up my screen. He still doesn’t have my code.

_**Peeta 8:03pm: Can we talk?** _

_**8:07pm: Katniss I really need to talk to you and I think you have to tell me something as well** _

_**8:38pm: If you don’t want to talk tonight, when can you meet?** _

_**9:17pm: Please answer asap  
** _

I look up to find my parents walking arm in arm to the hall where tea will be served and Prim and Madge following them.  


_**Katniss 9:23pm: After intermission?** _

_**9:23pm: When everyone is back in their seats** _

_**Peeta 9:24pm: No everyone will notice I’m gone then.** _

_**9:24pm: Meet me now in my family’s box. No one’s using it.** _

_**Katniss 9:25pm: Fine, I’ll see you in 5  
** _

I quickly text Madge that I have to go to the restroom and that I’ll see them when intermission is over and then I discreetly make my way over to Peeta.

It’s a miracle no one stops me for a chat and as far as I know, no one notices me while I sneak to the private box of the royal family. God must be on my side.

Peeta is already there, waiting for me.

I suddenly become very nervous. This will be the first time I’ll see Peeta after our make-out session in the palace. He probably already knows I’m not engaged anymore, and I wonder what he’s going to say. I’m also anxious to know what he so desperately needs to tell _me_.

‘Hey’ he whispers and he gives me a tentative smile.

‘Hi’ I greet him in the same way.

His eyes flicker to my left ring finger again. ‘You’re no longer engaged’ it’s not a question. ‘I’m sorry’ he says and his eyes reveal some guilt.

‘Are you though?’ I ask.

‘No’ he says without missing a beat. ‘I am if it was because of my doing, but I’m not sorry you’re not engaged anymore’

I nod. ‘Well Thresh ended things because of my infidelity, but to be honest – I’m not so sorry that I’m not getting married’ I admit. I notice Peeta’s lips turn upward in a hopeful smile, so I quickly add, ‘I’m not the marrying type. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking when I accepted Thresh’s proposal, I could never be someone’s wife’

Peeta’s small smile turns into a hard, thin line and his eyes become cold. It feels like he slapped me and I immediately regret my words. They weren’t entirely untrue, but there’s always an exception to the rule. _He_ would be my only exception.

‘Then I guess it’s a good thing you’re not getting married anymore’ he says in a cold, unwavering tone and his eyes bore into mine for a moment. It’s incredibly distracting.

‘I guess. What did you need to tell me?’ I ask to stop this little staring contest.

‘I needed to tell you that Cashmere is pregnant’ Peeta answers with a blank expression. ‘And it’s mine. I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else’

My body reacts immediately to that news. My lungs need extra air, so I inhale sharply, my heart begins to beat wildly till the point of breaking, my stomach wants to be emptied immediately and my muscles want to flee from the guy who just broke my heart, so they make me physically take a step back.

The logical part of me knows I have no right to feel this way. We were never together and I was even engaged to another man. _But he’s my only exception_.

Maybe it’s for the better. I’m not certain I can ever offer him what he truly desires and what he needs as a king – a wife and heirs.

‘Congratulations’ I whisper and Peeta’s jaw tightens in response.

I can feel my eyes start to burn, so I turn around and finally let my muscles take me away.

I send a text to Madge and Prim that I don’t feel well and that I’m going home. I can’t stay here a second longer now knowing what Peeta just told me. I can already feel the tears escape my eyes and I quicken my pace.

 

* * *

 

 

**Peeta’s POV**

 

It’s a week after the concert. I’m all alone lying on my bed and drinking scotch when Cashmere walks in.

Delly was right. I have to marry her and I decided that I was going to. I also decided it wasn’t going to be a long marriage – five years tops. Then I probably had a few heirs and I could live my life how I wished – without a wife I didn’t care for. Maybe even with Katniss.

She may have told me she would never marry, but when I told her about Cashmere’s pregnancy, her cold demeanour broke. Her eyes were like an open book to me – she hated the fact I was having a child with someone else and I had broken her heart because of it.

‘Wow it’s a mess in here’ Cashmere says and she breaks me out of my train of thought.

The last couple of days I have gotten so angry about the fact that Katniss is back on the market again and that I have tied myself to someone else, that I blew off steam by getting drunk and trashing my room. It has been very therapeutic and relaxing.

‘Yup’ I mutter.

‘Peeta I need to talk to you’ Cashmere says and I respond with a mock question if we are having twins.

Cashmere ignores my comment and continues. ‘My agency called me with the news that “Victoria’s Secret” wants me to model for them’ I look up to her and see that she’s smiling excitedly at me.

‘So?’ I ask unimpressed. It’s not like she can model for them now that she’s knocked-up.

‘They want _me_ , Peeta! _“Victoria’s Secret”_ wants me!’ she continues, her excitement never wavering.

‘I’m sorry’ I say.

‘Why? My biggest dream just came true!’ she says and she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

I sigh and change from a lying position to a sitting one. ‘Cashmere, you’re pregnant. I doubt they want a pregnant model for a lingerie shoot’

‘I know. That’s why I’ve decided to have an abortion’ Cashmere informs me, suddenly very nervous.

My eyes widen and I can feel my heartbeat quicken. ‘What?’ I mutter.

‘It’s obvious you don’t want me or this kid and frankly, I don’t want either one of you too’ she says matter-of-factly before her expression changes. ‘Did you know my dad was a drunk and my mom beat the shit out of Gloss and me?’ she asks with anger and pain in her voice.

Guilt goes through me for never caring enough about her to ask her something from her childhood. ‘No’

‘My entire childhood was hell and I refuse to be unhappy as an adult as well. I’ve never had a decent mom, so I’m sure I’ll be a shitty one as well. I mean, I’ve been drunk and high more times than not during this pregnancy, so who knows how this baby is coming out..’ she tells me and she sighs heavily. ‘I just want to model and party. I can’t do that when I’m with you. I thought I wanted to be a princess, but I don’t. Maybe it’s selfish, but I’m choosing my own happiness’

I’m lost for words and just stare at her.

‘What do you think?’ she asks me shyly. She nervously plays with the hem of her shirt.

‘I don’t want the baby either. Or get married to you’ I tell her honestly. ‘But I don’t want to pressure you to make a decision. If you want that kid, I’ll support you. And I won’t treat that baby like your parents treated you or how my parents treated me’

‘I know, but I’m afraid _I_ will. And I’ve thought it over since I told you about the pregnancy. If I ever have a child, I want it to be with someone who’s going to be thrilled about the news’

‘I’m sorry’ I immediately say.

‘And with someone who isn’t ridiculously in love with someone else’ Cashmere continues. ‘I refuse to be that woman. The woman who gets cheated on and just accepts it because she can be a royal. I also believe I deserve to be loved by someone just like you love Katniss’

My eyes drop to my floor. ‘Everyone deserves that’ I whisper.  


* * *

 

 

It’s a couple of days after Cashmere’s abortion when I plan to use my free time to visit Katniss.

Cashmere signed a contract saying she would never tell a soul about aborting my – supposed – baby and to be sure, I paid her a great deal of money. Finnick even went to the clinic with her so we could be sure she had the procedure.

I felt awful about the whole thing. When did I change into the guy that paid a girl to have an abortion? When did I become so dishonourable? Granted, that’s not exactly what happened, but I couldn’t help how I felt. Even Delly was so upset with me for getting our family into this mess, that she could barely look me in my eyes.

But there was only one girl who I needed to look in the eyes right now and I find that girl in her stables at Rosings.

‘Hey Peeta’ she says without looking up from the horse she’s combing.

I always hated that as a child. I was unable to sneak up on her because Katniss could hear my tread from a mile away.

‘You’re just so loud’ she told me laughingly when I complained to her about it when we were about six years old. ‘You walk like a giant troll’ she added before snickering.

‘I do not!’ I objected. ‘I walk like a man!’

‘Oh yeah? My daddy’s a man and he walks as quietly as I do. You just walk like a troll’ she laughed again and even harder when she saw my scowl.

It seemed like that happened in a different life. What happened to those kids? What had happened to that friendship I shared with her? What happened to us?

‘It’s never going to happen, is it? Me startling you?’ I ask Katniss.

‘Never say never Peeta, but don’t hold your breath’ she keeps her back at me, but I can hear the smile in her voice.

 _Never say never Peeta._ She told me she was never going to date me. She told me she was never going to marry me. I want to tell her that she told me never plenty of times and for a moment I question what the hell I’m even doing here, but then I remember the way she looked at me in the Royal Albert Hall and I decide against it.

‘Do you have a minute? I need to tell you something’ I say instead.

Her movements halt for a second, before she tells me she does and I make my way over to her. I grab a horse brush and start brushing the other side of the horse.

We brush in silence for a moment before I break it. ‘Cashmere decided to follow her dreams of becoming a “Victoria’s Secret Angel” and long story short – I’m not going to be a father anymore’

She looks up to me with a sad expression in her eyes. ‘I’m sorry. You would’ve been a great dad’

I shrug. ‘Maybe. But I’m relieved I don’t have to find out yet..’ I let out a sigh. ‘Maybe if it had been with someone else, it would’ve been a different story. Maybe with-‘

‘Let’s go take a ride together’ Katniss interrupts me. ‘Like we used to’ she adds with a smile.

I smile back at her and nod. ‘Sounds like a plan’

When our horses are saddled and we ride out of the stables, Katniss proposes a race. ‘The first one at the apple grove, wins!’ she says smiling excitedly.

‘Deal!’ I say before I race off.

I may be an excellent rider and have a head start, but it’s Katniss who arrives at the apple trees first. ‘Congratulations’ I say smiling.

We’re both a little out of breath, but we’re laughing. I don’t think I’ve been this happy since Katniss left for India. Being with her, riding over Rosings’ grounds and being this relaxed, brings out the best in both of us.

‘You want an apple?’ Katniss asks. When we were children we always ended our races with an apple freshly stolen from Rosings’ grounds.

‘I could go for an apple’ I say smiling.

Katniss makes her horse stand still next to mine and stands up on our saddles to grab a few apples. I hold the leg that she planted on my saddle and when I look up, my eyes wander to her ass that’s wrapped in tightly by her riding breeches. She always had an amazing behind.

Katniss sees this when she offers me an apple. ‘Peeta Mellark, stop checking out my ass’

I gratefully accept the fruit. ‘Katniss, that’s Your Royal Highness Peter Fitzwilliam Mellark for you’ I joke and I take a bite out of the apple.

Katniss sits down on her horse again before she slides off. ‘If we’re getting formal, you have to call me Lady Katherine. Now get off your horse and give the poor animal an apple’

I laugh, but do as I’m told.

When all four of us are enjoying the sweetness of an Rosings’ apple, Katniss and I lean against a tree trunk.

‘Remember when we used to do this all the time as kids? I miss that’ Katniss says in a soft voice.

‘I do too’ I admit. I turn to her so I can look her in her eyes. ‘But I definitely don’t miss the times when I was still learning and kept falling off during our races’

Katniss laughs and I lose myself in the sound. It’s even better than when she sings – and then she already sounds like an angel. _God, I love her so much.._

‘Those are my favourite memories. You falling on your ass’ she says with a twinkle in her eyes. ‘No wait, you making an ass of yourself. Those times were even better!’

I laugh. ‘Well I’m glad my pain and humiliation was amusing to you’ I take a bite out of my apple and clean my lips with my tongue.

Katniss catches the movement and starts to blush. When her eyes are back on mine, her pupils are dilated.

My heart speeds up because I know. I know that this is it.

I lean in slightly and tuck a loose string of Katniss her hair behind her ear. I’m waiting for Katniss to make me stop, but she doesn’t, so I cup her cheek and make my lips travel to hers.

We both startle when the sound of a car breaks our bubble and Katniss jumps away from me.

‘SIR!’ I hear someone behind me yell and I recognise it as Marcus his voice. ‘We need to go to the palace right now!’

I keep my eyes on Katniss who looks very confused, before Marcus drags me to the car.

When the door closes behind us and we drive off in a hurry, I say, ‘This better be damn important or someone’s getting fired’

I couldn’t believe that the moment Katniss and I were about to kiss, to change our relationship (hopefully) for the better, I get dragged away by my security detail.

‘Your Highness’ Marcus says in a very serious tone. ‘The King has had a heart attack and he’s currently getting emergency surgery. We need to get you in safety in case the King doesn’t pull through’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your train of thought! :) xx


	14. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally here! The end of 'The Royals'. I want to thank everyone who read/reviewed/left kudos - you made me all so happy! :*) Hope you enjoy the last one! xxx

**Peeta’s POV**

 

Ten agonising hours later, my family and I get the news that my father is going to pull through.

My mother, Delly and I visit him in the hospital the next morning. Delly had bravely held herself together, but when we see our dad in his hospital bed, she breaks down into a sobbing mess and makes her way over to our dad’s comforting arms. Even my mother’s cold, hard mask slips into a much more human one.

We just sit and cry for an hour or so, again realising what a close call this was. My sister and I almost lost our dad. My mother almost lost her husband. My country almost lost their head of state. If my father had died on the operating table, or even before he got to the hospital, I would’ve been the King in a week or so..

‘I’m _so_ sorry I put you all through this’ my dad says and I shake my head.

‘It wasn’t your fault father, please don’t say that’ I assure him. ‘Or even think like that’

‘You’re right son’ my dad says, and again it shocks me how tired and old he looks. This man, lying in a hospital bed and hooked on all types of machines, is not the image of my dad that matches in my head. Healthy, strong, happy – that’s how he’s supposed to look like. ‘We’ve got much more urgent business to discuss’

‘We don’t have to do that now, dear’ my mother quickly says, as she holds his hand like a lifeline, while her mascara is running down her cheeks. After all the things my mother has said and done, this shows me she actually does care. About her husband at least.

‘I agree’ I say. ‘The doctors said you’re going to be fine, we’ll talk about urgent matters when we’re all home and you’re up for it’

‘No’ my dad’s voice is commanding. ‘I’m up for it now, so we’ll discuss it _now_ ’

My mother seems like she wants to object again, but decides to hold her tongue.

‘I’ve been a King for almost 26 years now and it has been an honour to serve our people, but this job is killing me. Literally. I never had a choice in becoming a King, and neither does Peeta, but we ought to gracefully accept that fact and do our best. And I have, my entire life, _especially_ the last 26 years. But I don’t want to die on the job, and that’s why I have decided to abdicate’ my father starts.

I can feel my heart beating at an alarming speed and my stomach turn. _O dear God, no. No. No. I can’t be king in 12 months.._

It’s deadly silent in the room, until my mother decides to break it with a shrill, ‘ _What_?!’

‘Honey, if I keep this up, I don’t have another 5 years left. I can feel it. I still have so much wishes to fulfil and I want to see Delly graduate and my grandkids grow up..’ he squeezes my mother’s hand. ‘I’m sure you can understand that. You don’t want to be a widow, do you?’

‘No, of course not!’ my mother says, offended by the insinuation, before she points her finger at me. ‘But he’s not ready, you know that. You have to think about our country!’

‘He’ll learn on the job, I did too’ my father says unimpressed. ‘Besides, he won’t be King for another 12 months, at least. There’s still so much to sort out before he can be crowned and it will give Peeta some more time to prepare-‘

‘But not enough!’ I yell panicked, finally reacquainted with my voice. I can’t believe this is happening. My mother was right, I’m not ready. I hadn’t expected for this to happen for at least another decade or two.

‘He’s not even married, Matthew!’ my mother points out. ‘We can’t have a bachelor king!’ she talks as if the disgrace alone could kill her, that her _unmarried_ son might ascend the throne.

‘No one cares about that anymore, Josephine’ my dad waves away her objections. ‘He can get married in the next year, if he wants to, or after he’s crowned’

An image of Katniss, in my family’s concert box, telling me that she could never become someone’s wife, flashes through my mind. ‘Don’t count on it’ I say and I can’t help that I sound petulant and bitter. But if Katniss doesn’t want to get married to me, I won’t ever become someone’s husband. I’ve decided that I’m not going to tie myself down to some girl because I have to have a wife, and become absolutely miserable in the process. I’d rather go down in history as the Bachelor King, who never left any heirs to his throne.

My mother rolls her eyes at me. ‘Of course you’re going to get married. And the sooner the better-‘ she turns to my father, ‘-if your father is serious about this ridiculous plan to abdicate’

‘I am’ my dad confirms at the same time I say, ‘I’m not getting married mother. There’s only one girl that can make me a husband and she has been very clear to me that she has no intentions in doing so, so..’

My mother’s face resembles a tomato. ‘That damn Katherine!’ she snaps. ‘Don’t be such an idiot, Peter Fitzwilliam! You _will_ get married and you _will_ get heirs! That’s your duty – and that’s the end of it!’

‘It’s my duty to ascend the throne!’ I object. ‘Not to be miserable for the rest of my life because my country expects me to get married and have a kid! It’s _not_ going to happen, mother – _that’s_ the end of it!’ I look at Delly. ‘Delly and her children will be my heirs’

My parents both turn to my sister, who has been very quiet the last ten minutes or so.

‘Actually’ my sister begins in a small voice and she coughs to give her voice more strength. ‘I don’t believe I’ll have children as well’

My mother laughs. ‘Don’t be ridiculous Delilah, of course you will. You’re young. You may not want them now, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to fill your uterus eventually’

‘That has nothing to do with it, mother’ she says annoyed, before she looks back at me and her eyes soften. ‘I have to tell you guys something. I realise I should’ve told you this years ago and I also realise this is probably the worst moment _ever_ to tell this, but–‘

‘Then maybe you should keep it to yourself, Delilah’ my mother says, interrupting her daughter in a calm, but demanding voice. When I look over at her, I can see that she’s glaring at my sister.

‘No’ I say, eyes still on my mother. ‘If it’s something you wanted to share for years, don’t wait a second longer, Del’

‘I agree’ my dad says, smiling kindly at his only daughter. ‘Please tell us Delly’

Delly sits up straight and gives us a brave smile. ‘I’m gay’

‘ _What_?!’ I hear my mother yells, but she gets ignored by all three of her family members.

I give my sister a smile. ‘Thanks for telling us Delly. This can’t have been easy for you and I want you to know that we love you just as much as we did a moment ago’ I assure her and she gives me a grateful smile, before quickly wiping a tear from her cheek.

‘Probably even more, since we now know how brave you are’ my dad adds and Delly lets out a sob. ‘We love you, Delly’

‘Thanks daddy’ she whispers.

My mother begins a tirade of why Delly can’t be gay. What the people might say, that she, just as her brother, has the duty to have kids. To secure our line, _bla, bla, bla._

‘Shut up’ I command my mother. I’ve never had the guts to stand up against my mother, but _God_ , does it feel good. ‘I just heard I’ll be King in about a year and I say that it’s fine. More than fine, even. Delly, I love you, _we_ love you and we want you to be happy’ I look at my mother when I say the next few words. ‘And _that’s_ the end of it’ I bite.

Delly laughs and my dad looks amused. My mother however is fuming.

‘Not to take away any of Delly’s much deserved attention, but I want to be a baker and open my own bakery’ my dad reveals, an excited smile on his face.

My mother sighs. ‘That’s great dear’ she mumbles, learning she has lost these battles, and Delly and I send one another a smirk, after agreeing with her.

 

* * *

 

 

A few days later, my dad is back at home, taking it as easy as he can. Delly went back to school, making me promise that if something happens, I would call her immediately. She left us much more relieved and happier than she had been in a long time. A huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders when she came out of the closet. I knew her secret had been killing her and I felt guilty that I never suspected anything. I feel like I should’ve known, but Delly laughed in my face when I said so.

‘I didn’t want you to’ she admitted. ‘I don’t know _why_ and it feels stupid now, but I guess I wasn’t ready, you know?’

‘And you are know?’ I asked while we sat on the palace rooftop, looking at the stars.

‘I am know’ she confirmed. ‘Us being royalty takes a lot of us and affects our lives like nothing else ever would. But I’m not going to hide who I am to please the people. Or worse, _our mother_. I’m gay and that’s that’

‘And that’s that’ I repeated, agreeing.

‘It won’t make me unhappy if the people don’t accept it’ she continued. ‘They can strip me of my titles, money and what not, but I’m not getting back in that closet’

I gave her a proud smile. ‘Good. Because I’ll be damned if you have to’

The conversation plays in my head on way to Rosings’ Abbey. A lot has happened again in the last couple of days and I want Katniss to learn it from me, not the newspapers. I also need her to know, once and for all, that I love her. And I need to know if she meant it, when she said she would never get married. Not even to me.

‘Peeta’ she seems surprised when I enter her bedroom, but she gives me a smile, so I’m assured she’s glad to see me.

‘Hi Katniss’ I say, returning her smile.

‘How’s your father?’ she immediately asks, not caring I came unannounced or that we’re going to have this conversation ten feet from her bed.

We sit down on her sofa. ‘He’s doing as well as can be expected. The doctors said he’ll only improve and that he’s going to be fine soon again’

Her lips curl into a smile and her silver eyes fill with relief. ‘Good. I was worried’

‘Yeah, me too’ I admit and I put my clasped hands in my lap. ‘But in staying healthy and well, _alive_ , he believes he should abdicate soon’ I continue and Katniss’ eyes widen in shock, but she remains quiet. ‘Which means that I’ll be King. Next year. He wants to abdicate next year..’ I nod to myself, as to remind myself this is all reality and not a dream. Or rather, a nightmare.

‘Next year?’ Katniss whispers, shocked.

‘Next year..’ I repeat and I let out a sigh. ‘Much sooner than I could’ve anticipated. To be honest, I didn’t think it would ever happen. I didn’t grow up with the thought of becoming King, because Andrew was supposed to take that job.. And even when he died, I guess I didn’t _believe_ it, that _I_ would ever be the head of our nation.. Of course it would happen, but this soon?’ I let out a humourless chuckle. ‘You should’ve seen my mom’

Katniss let out a small laugh and wipes a tear of her cheek. I look at the girl I’ve loved since I understood what love was and I need to know. For once and for all.

‘Did you mean it? When you said you could never become someone’s wife?’ I ask.

‘No’ she admits in a whisper and I feel my heart grow a size.

‘Really?’ I whisper. _Tell me what I want to know. End my misery._

‘There’s only one person in this world I would’ve made that exception for and that person is _you_ , Peeta’ she begins.

‘Thank God’ I say, smiling relieved, and I take her hands in mine. ‘Katniss, I-‘

‘Please let me finish’ she begs, interrupting me. Her hands are shaking in mine and her eyes fill with tears. _No.._ ‘I love you Peeta.. I love you so much it hurts. It’s ridiculous, really, how much I will _always_ love you..’ she tries to smile, but she fails, tears dripping from her eyes. ‘But I can’t marry you. Marrying you means becoming the Queen and that’s the one thing I can never be. I can be your wife, I can be the mother of your children – believe me when I tell you that I _want_ to – but I cannot be this nations Queen. Or any other nation, for that matter. It’s just not who I am and I’ll never be that person. You need someone like your mother next to you, who loves to be in the spotlight and loves hosting stupid banquets and those dreadful garden parties.. That’s never going to be me Peeta, you and I both know that..’

‘I know..’ it’s a broken whisper, filled with unshed tears and my broken heart. ‘That’s why I love you. Because you are nothing like that. Even when we were children you were strong and bold and didn’t care for all of the glamour my mother needs like air. You were your own person’ a smile graces my features and I desperately try to maintain it when I continue, but it’s not an easy task. ‘You should travel across the world, liberate people and animals, be free. You shouldn’t be locked up in a palace..’

‘I’m sorry’ she sobs. She’s crying so hard now, her entire body is shaking. ‘I’m _so_ sorry, Peeta..’

‘Don’t be’ I manage to say, desperately trying to keep my tears at bay, but failing. ‘You don’t want to be Queen and I don’t want to be King’ I admit. ‘But only one of us has no choice in the matter’

‘I wish– I wish–‘ Katniss stutters.

‘Me too’ I whisper. ‘I would give up my title for you Katniss, but I can’t do that to Delly. She doesn’t want the crown either and I can’t take the chance that she’d be ridiculed. She doesn’t deserve that’

‘She doesn’t’ Katniss agrees, understanding what it’s like to have a younger sister you love and need to protect.

‘I will always love you, Peter Fitzwilliam’ she says with a tearful smile. ‘Always’

‘I will always wait for you Katherine Kamillya’ I promise, but Katniss doesn’t want to hear it.

‘No, promise me you won’t’ she begs, still crying, silver pools still swimming in tears. _The most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen._ ‘Promise me you’ll fall in love with someone else. Promise me that you’ll have beautiful curly haired babies with her. Promise me you’ll be happy’

I want to tell her that there’s no happiness without her, that I will always belong to her, like I know she’ll always belong to me. But I know that this beautiful, stubborn and restless woman in front of me would never forgive me, if I didn’t promise her I’d let her go eventually. So, I lie. ‘I promise’

She kisses me then and I wish that this was a hello, a beginning, but I’m only fooling myself. It’s a goodbye.

I pour every ounce of love I have for her in the last kiss we’ll ever share and she does too. We hold each other for a moment when we break apart and breath in each other’s scent.

‘Be happy Katniss’ I say when I leave, because saying goodbye is too hard.

‘Be happy Peeta’ her voice is hoarse and both of our faces are still wet.

I could make it my life’s mission to convince her to marry me, but if I succeeded, she would eventually become horribly unhappy. With me and herself. She loves me so much she would endure a lifetime of unhappiness if it made me happy, but I, in return, love her too much to be that selfish.

I kiss her brow and leave my heart with her.  

 

~~_ **Fin.** _ ~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? :)
> 
> If you're into the 100, check out this [tumblr!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2425535)
> 
> xx


	15. Our Love Isn’t Water Under The Bridge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really like the ending either, so here's a little epilogue to sooth all of us. I hope you'll enjoy it! :)

**(5 years later)**

 

**Katniss’ POV**

 

 

** MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR OF THE WORLD OFF THE MARKET? **

_King Peter Fitzwilliam I has been spotted with Princess Lavinia from Norway for the fourth time in three months. The two royals met three months ago when King Peter Fitzwilliam travelled to Norway to strengthen the relationship between the British and the Norwegians. Since that introduction our King has been spotted with the Princess multiple times – always looking very cosy with one another. Is Princess Lavinia going to be The One who’s going to tie the King down? His Royal Highness KPF1 has been on the throne for almost 4 years now, but has yet to find his (and our) Queen – but maybe with Princess Lavinia in the picture, the wait is almost over?_

 

I try not to let the article get to me – I have enough on my plate as it is, but the pit in my stomach the story creates (especially with the accompanying photographs where the two of them really _do_ look cosy) is difficult to ignore.

The paper gets dumped into the trashcan in my office when I walk in, right before I sit down at my desk and Bristel River, my assistant, brings me my coffee.

A lot has changed in the last couple of 5 years. I started my own non-profit organisation, _Green Squad_ , concerning and improving the rights and the condition of the environment in the UK. We started out with England’s flora, but gradually expanded and took on the waters that are streaming in and around my country. In the future I want to take on animal rights and air pollution.

Peeta was crowned King. We’re still close friends, but that’s all – there’s always something under the surface between us, but that’s where I need it to stay. He’s doing an amazing job, just like I knew he would. The people love him, and he’s also very popular outside of the UK’s border. Peeta is also one of Green Squad’s main investors. When I told him I couldn’t possibly accept his financial help, he told me he didn’t do it for me, but for his country. Peeta told me he truly believed I was doing something amazing for his kingdom, that he was very grateful, and had to help me in all the ways he could. It took us some bickering, but I finally accepted his cheque, and I gave my best friend a hug in thanks.

But not all was amazing these last 5 years. I lost my father, in an airplane crash. He was flying over France in a horrible storm that took a hold of the aircraft, and made it crash into the sea. The pilot and stewardess didn’t make it either. It was absolutely horrible to lose my father and it took me a while to enjoy life again – it took my mother even longer. After two years of barely getting out of Rosings’ Abbey, she now can’t stand to be there anymore. It seems she can’t even stand to be in England since she has been in the US for almost eight months now, with no plans of returning home.

But with Prim making long hours at the hospital, my mother in the States, and with me building my company and doing my best for UK’s nature, it’s hard to keep the estate up and running.

Right as I finish my first coffee and am thinking of a plan to save Rosings from ruin, my cell phone lights up with an incoming call from my sister.

‘Good morning, Little Duck’ I greet her when I pick up my cell.

‘Hey Kat’ she greets me cheerfully. ‘How’ve you been?’

‘Good, but busy’ I answer. ‘But I always have some time for my favourite sister’ I quickly add, knowing Prim would otherwise start apologising for calling me. ‘How are you?’

‘The same. Listen about Rosings—‘

‘We’re not selling!’ I interrupt her immediately, afraid of what she was about to say. I don’t care what it takes or what I have to do, but Rosings has been owned by the Everdeen family since it’s been build, so I will see to it that that will always stay that way. To the day I’ll be cold in the ground.

‘No, no, you’re right’ Prim quickly assures me. She first thought it wouldn’t be the worst idea to sell the estate, but when seeing how much I disagreed with her, she quickly abandoned those thoughts. ‘But what about Lady Susan’s tiara? I mean, this is the 21st century, women don’t need accessories like that anymore—‘

‘That has been in the family for two centuries!’ I object. ‘It’s just as much a part of our family, our _history_ , as Rosings is! How can you even suggest—‘

‘Because we need the money, Katniss’ Prim says, and she sounds just as tired and upset as I feel.

‘Selling our family heirlooms is not the way to do it..’

‘Maybe it is’ my sister sighs.

‘I’ll figure something out. I promise’

‘And I’ll help you’ she promises me. ‘Have you heard from Mother lately?’

‘Not really, no..’

‘Well, I’m sure she’ll give us a call soon’ Prim says, ever so kind heartedly.

I, however, am not as sweet. The anger I still feel towards my mother for _abandoning_ us (by _choice_ – unlike our dad has) flares through me. ‘Or not’ I say through gritted teeth.

‘Katniss..’ Prim sighs.

‘Sorry’ I say. ‘I just really wish she was here’

‘Me, too’ Prim’s silent for a second and I can practically hear her worrying her lip.

‘Spit it out, Little Duck’ I say, amused.

‘Have you read today’s paper yet?’

‘Yes’ I answer, knowing exactly what article she’s thinking about, amusement now long gone and deciding to play dumb. ‘The pound has dropped 2 percent and Trump is being a fuckweasel again’

‘Funny’ Prim says, drily. ‘You and I both know I mean the article about Peeta’

‘I doubt it’s true’

‘Well, it could be’ Prim says. ‘He needs heirs and being a bachelor king doesn’t do much good for his reputation. She’d be a good match’

I hum in agreement. ‘She would. They’d also get really cute kids’

Prim groans in annoyance. ‘Katniss..’

‘What?’ I ask, feigning innocence.

‘You act like you don’t care that Peeta has been matched to someone else by the media, but I know you hate it. I know you’re scared it’s true and I know you’re jealous of this Princess Lavinia’

I bite my lip. ‘Well, I made my choice, didn’t I?’ my voice is small, and sad.

‘Not too late to make the right one..’ she whispers.

‘Are you saying that founding “Green Squad” was a wrong decision?’ I say, defensively.

‘No, of course not! I think it’s absolutely _amazing_ what you guys do, you know that! But you also know I think you made the wrong choice regarding Peeta..’

I sigh. ‘It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I’m happy and healthy – I don’t need more’ I stubbornly say.

‘You could be happier’ Prim counters.

‘Everyone could always be happier’ I argue.

‘Let’s agree to disagree on that one’ Prim proposes.

I smile. ‘I love you, Primmie. So much’ I say, because even though my sister can be annoying and I always find her nose in my business, it’s true. I know she means well. I know she does it because she cares, because she’s a wonderful person. I could not have asked for a better sister.

‘I love you, too, Kat’ Prim replies and I can hear her smile. ‘Everdeen sisters 5 eva’

‘I’ll get you that on a shirt’ I joke. ‘From Fairtrade material, of course’ I add, making Prim laugh.

Someone knocks on my door, so I say goodbye to Primrose before I tell them to enter.

It’s Annie Cresta, Green Squad’s head of Advertising, that walks into my office. Annie was one of the first I hired, along with Madge, Cinna, Bristel and Darius McGivney, three years ago, and she’s done as much for this firm as Madge and I have. She’s reliable, smart, ambitious, and now one of my best friends.

‘Annie, hey, what’s going on?’

Annie smiles brightly at me. ‘Well, I have something amazing to tell you, and I couldn’t wait a second longer’

My lips turn into a smile as well. ‘Than please don’t’

‘Finnick and I are getting married!’ she says excitedly and she radiates happiness, as she holds up her left hand in the air, showing me her engagement ring. It’s absolutely massive, but still classy and perfect for Annie – just like Finnick is.

‘Annie, congratulations!’ I walk over to my friend and take her in for a hug. ‘I’m so happy for you. You deserve this so much – this is absolutely wonderful’

Annie tightens her hold on me. ‘Thank you, Kat, it means a lot’ than she releases me, and her green eyes bore into my silver ones. ‘Will you be one of my bridesmaids?’

‘It would be an honour’ I smile.

 

******

 

At the end of the day I’m exhausted. A busy day at the office, my worries about my estate, the pain I carry caused by both of my parents, plus that stupid Princess Lavinia with Peeta story, make me come home like a caffeinated zombie.

Rosings still feels like home, but it’s different. It never made me feel lonely like it does now, but that’s not odd – I’m the only one living here currently, with my mother in the States and Prim living in Bristol.

But next to the weariness, loneliness, and hunger, there’s more. It’s Annie’s happiness that lit up my office when she told me the news of her engagement. It’s the love that made her eyes sparkle when she talked about Finnick. It was the way she enthusiastically told everyone how he proposed.

For the millionth time in the past five years I ask myself if I made the right decision when I told Peeta I could never marry him and for the millionth time I answer myself with _“It was the right decision then”_.   

But seeing how happy Annie and Finnick are with one another, and remembering how much my parents loved each other, makes me regret giving up that kind of happiness, that kind of love, with my best friend. Rationally speaking I know it was the right decision; emotionally speaking it still sucks. I wasn’t ready to be someone’s wife, let alone a nation’s Queen, back then.

I can’t say for certain I am now, but now that I lost my dad I realise how important loved ones are. How important love is and how happy it can make you. When my father passed, my world got deprived of a lot of love, and I miss it. I crave it.

But right now I crave something fun, to not be alone, so I send a quick text to the one person that always knows how to cheer me up. An hour later we’re sitting on Rosings’ roof admiring the sunset.

‘How was your day?’ Peeta asks me.

‘It was a good day’ I answer smiling, already feeling a million times better now my favourite person is here, keeping me company, while colours explode in the sky. ‘Finnick and Annie got engaged’

‘Yeah, he told me’ Peeta smiles brightly, obviously very happy for his friend. ‘Did you see the ring?!’

I laugh. ‘It was hard to miss. But I’m happy for them – they really are a lovely couple’

‘They are’ Peeta agreed.

We’re both silent for a moment or two and I indulge myself with some of the cheesebuns Peeta brought. I may not have chosen the life I’m living or agree with every curveball life has thrown at me, but I’m pretty happy where I am now – on the roof of the house I love, watching the sky turn into the favourite colour of the guy I love, with said guy. ‘If you could have chosen your own life, what kind would you have picked?’ I ask, gaze still on the orange clouds in the sky.

Peeta lets out a sigh. ‘The life of a painter, preferably one who lived somewhere warm and sunny. With a beach’ Peeta licks his lips, like he can taste the life he missed out on. He continues with a dreamy look in his blue eyes. ‘I’d just paint all day, sell the paintings to tourists or something, eat vegetables out of my own garden. Something simple, low-key’

‘I like it’ I decide. ‘I’d join you in that life’

Peeta chuckles. ‘That would be preferred’

‘I would become a fisher then; selling the fish we wouldn’t eat to those tourists. We could have a couple of chickens in our garden, swim in the sea when we wished, wear the same clothes every day if we had to’ I continue. ‘Something simple, indeed. It would be lovely’

‘Yes..’ Peeta whispers, barely audible. ‘But this life isn’t so bad either, is it?’

‘No, it isn’t’ I agree. ‘We never have to go to bed hungry or filthy;  that’s really something. And we both have the power to do something good for the world’

‘Exactly’ Peeta says, before he points out a funny looking cloud. The rest of our time together is spend making up stories about the clouds that pass by, before the sunbeams have left the sky and the stars take their turn in lighting it up. It’s easy, comfortable, nice and perfect – just like it always is with Peeta.

Right before he leaves I get the nagging feeling I have to ask him about Princess Lavinia – it’s my duty as his best friend. But I don’t, and Peeta doesn’t mention her once in the hours we’re together, so I figure she can’t be that important to him.

 

* * *

 

 

‘Hello, honey’

I’m so surprised, I almost drop my tea on my bed. It’s Saturday morning and I’m enjoying a quiet breakfast in bed, while watching something on my TV, when my cell rang. I answered the incoming call without checking the screen while bringing my cup of tea to my lips. ‘Mother?!’

‘How’ve you been?’ she asks, voice soft and sweet as cotton candy.

‘You mean this week or in the last two months since you called?’ I spit out, unable to suppress the anger I feel towards my mother.

She’s silent for a second. ‘Okay, I deserve that’

‘You think?!’ I yell, angry tears welling up in my eyes. ‘You just left! You packed your shit and went back to the US—‘

‘Language, Katniss’ my mother can’t help but say.

But I continue. ‘How could you just _leave_?’

‘I had to, honey. I needed time to heal, to put myself back together. I was hurting too much—‘

‘Prim and I were hurting, too! _Are_ still hurting, especially since you _abandoned_ us.. And what?! You couldn’t even call us once a month to inform us you were still alive?!’

My mother lets out a sob, and I immediately feel guilty. ‘Please, honey, try to understand. I did the best I could, I gave you all I could offer you, but I couldn’t give you more..’ she sniffs, and her tears are joined by a few of my own. ‘I love you. So much. And I love your sister with all I am as well’

‘Nice way of showing it’ I grumble, tears stubbornly making their way down my cheeks.

‘I know honey, I know.. I can never make it up to you.. I can never apologise enough’

I blow my nose in a tissue, before I say in a more civil, more softer tone, ‘You’re our mother and we love you. So, it would be nice of you to try’

‘I will.. I _am_..’ she promises me. ‘I also have some good news to give you— wonderful news even. I met an old friend of my brother’s here in New York, and he’s a director. His name is Plutarch Heavensbee –  maybe you’ve heard of him?’

Everyone has heard of Plutarch Heavensbee; he’s very successful in his field and has even won a couple of Emmys for his work. I can say that if I had to pick a favourite director, it would be him. ‘I have’ I answer my mother, curious to know what she’s going to tell about meeting him.

‘Well, we got to talking – very nice man, by the way – and he told me about this new project of his’ my mother starts. ‘It’s a costume drama series about an aristocratic family and their servants in the 20th century. It’s looking to be quite the hit. I had the privilege to read the script of the pilot – absolutely amazing – and Plutarch has already casted half the cast. The financial side is also taken care of, but there’s just one thing missing – a location’

‘A location?’ I ask, already knowing where my mother is headed.

‘Rosings’ Abbey would be perfect, don’t you think? They would pay us quite handsomely’

‘Rosings would be perfect indeed’ I agree, barely believing what’s happening. ‘It could save us from losing the estate, mother..’

‘I thought so, too. I know I’ve been way too absent from the estate and you and your sister’s lives, but believe me when I say I still care for you two. And for keeping Rosings in the family’

‘Good’

‘So, you agree? Can I send Plutarch to England so you can talk with him?’

‘You can tell him I’m looking forward to meeting him’ I smile, feeling so much lighter than in the beginning of this conversation.

 

* * *

 

 

The dreamlife Peeta and I made up on my rooftop a couple of days ago, keeps running through my mind. It fills my dreams at night and distracts me from work during the day.

The cute cottage where we would live in, the garden with the chickens and home-grown vegetables, the paintings Peeta would make, the fish I would sell at the market… The moments we would spend on the beach, the days we’d spend taking care of our garden, the nights we would use to make love to one another.. We can never have that. Maybe I could on my own, if I quit my job, ditched my friends, family and estate.. But that life wouldn’t be the dreamlife I wished I could have, because Peeta couldn’t join me.

_Peeta._

And then I’m done.

The only part of that simple, low-key life on that island I wished I had, but could _actually_ have, is my best friend. I want to kiss him good night, wake up with him in the morning, I want to be able to hold his hand from dawn to dusk and to not part from him when the day has ended. For the rest of our lives.

My driver is already halfway to Rosings before I tell him to turn around and drive to the palace. I can barely think straight, nerves and excitement are rushing through my veins, making my heart go crazy. I ask one of the servants to go and get Peeta, and a couple of minutes later he’s in the drawing room, sitting next to me on the sofa.

‘Hey’ I breath, suddenly a little nervous.

‘Katniss, hi’ Peeta gives me a brilliant smile and his eyes seem to reflect every star in the universe. ‘What are you doing here?’

His smile is so blinding, that I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. ‘Rosings is going to be the location of Plutarch Heavensbee’s newest series’

‘Holy cow, Katniss! That’s amazing!’ Peeta says, excited, before congratulating me, and I tell him about Prim fangirling all over me when I called her to share the news.

‘Well, I’m really looking forward to seeing the new show’ his blue eyes bore into my own, and there’s no escaping him, when he asks the next question. ‘Was that all you wanted to tell me?’ he gives me a patient, but knowing look, because _of course_ he knows. He can read me like an open book, always has, always will.

‘No..’ I admit. ‘I wanted to ask you something, actually’

Peeta raises an eyebrow in surprise. ‘Yeah?’

‘Peeta..’ I begin, and I swallow, postponing, and trying to gain more courage to say the next 4 words. ‘Will you marry me?’

His blue eyes widen and he sucks in a breath. ‘Yes’ he breaths. ‘Are you serious? Yes’

I chuckle. ‘I am. I love you and I don’t want us to be apart anymore. I love you so much, Peeta’

His hands bring our lips together, but kissing him is hard when we’re both smiling so much, and it makes me laugh. Eventually we get a grip, and his lips are suck my lower one, my tongue hungrily enters his mouth, and they start to dance together. It might’ve been 5 years since we kissed, but it’s like time hasn’t passed at all – the kiss is perfect, like we do it every day. And now we will. 

 

* * *

 

 

We get married a year later.

Cinna makes my dress. Peeta’s father makes the cake. My mother does my hair and I do my own make-up. Prim, Madge and Annie are my bridesmaids. Finnick is Peeta’s best man. The wedding ceremony is absolutely ridiculous, but nothing I didn’t expect when the King of the Commonwealth of Nations gets married.

I’m overwhelmed by all the attention my wedding receives by the public, media and rest of the world, but looking into Peeta’s blue eyes while I walk down the aisle makes it all worth it. Our first kiss as a married couple is in one of the drawing rooms, so we can have it in private. Our second one is on the balcony of Buckingham palace – the crowd goes insane.

The party is a small event, there are more security details than actual guests, but it’s the best party Peeta and I have ever attended. We dance and dance, before we sneak off to the apple trees on my grounds to enjoy a Rosings’ apple and to make out.  

It truly is a wonderful day and even Peeta’s mother seems to enjoy herself.

 

* * *

 

 

Our lives as King and Queen were insane. I never gave up my company, and when Peeta and I became parents it definitely got overwhelming, but I was always happy. Really happy – I know for certain I could’ve never been happier with anyone else at my side.

Of course there were fights and tears, because nothing in life and the world is perfect, but waking up in Peeta’s arms every day made it worth it. Getting lost in Peeta’s blue eyes, that never lost their colour, even when we turned wrinkled and grey, made it worth it. Having four beautiful, talented and healthy children _definitely_ made it worth it.

‘I’ve loved you since before I learned what love was’ Peeta says, blinking away a few tears. He’s holding my old, wrinkled hand in his own. He leans over the bed I'm lying in and kisses my brow, before returning to his seat next to me.

‘As have I you’ I whisper, enjoying his warm hand enveloping my own. ‘I could not have asked for a better friend, a better husband, than you, Peeta’

‘Thank you for loving me Katniss, thank you for giving me so much happiness’ Peeta says, while the tears stream down his face, and he caresses my cheek. ‘I will find you in our next life, and the one after that, and love you just as much’

I give him a smile and he returns it. ‘I’m counting on it’ I whisper, before I close my eyes and drift asleep for the last time. Surrounded by my husband, children and sister I move on from this life into the next.

I hope it’s the one on the island, but as long as Peeta’s in it, I don’t really care.

 

_**Fin.** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading my Everlark fics! :D Feel free to leave a kudos/comment bc I'd love to hear what you think/feel/ect! :D xx


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